Enablers use the addict as much as the addict uses the enablers

Enablers are people who do not engage in a harmful behavior but they make it possible for the people they “love” to do so. They will pay their daughter’s rent when she spends the money on crack. They will cover their son’s child support payments when his drinking makes employment impossible. You get the idea. They know what their money supports and they claim they don’t want their kids (or whoever) to be addicted. We have all probably seen someone who appears to be victimized by demanding relatives, friends, significant others who won’t stop bullying them until they get what they want. The pity you felt? That’s what the enabler wanted you to feel. They want you to be the public victims there are other characteristics I’ve seen that are common to enablers.

Enablers feel guilty

Something happened in the relationship that was their fault, like a mother who stayed with a man who abused her son. Now the son says the abuse led to his addiction. Mom let’s the son tangeelazarus@live.com at home. Or, the person provided money in the beginning of the relationship for drugs and now the person has a heroin habit. Are they really going to cut the person off and let them suffer, I mean hard core physical suffering, for 3 days? Of course not. The enabler feels like there is no choice.

Enablers are Resentful

Enablers are angry at the person whose very existence is a reminder of their guilt. They keep giving whatever is needed, secretly enjoying the destruction of the person they say they are helping.

Enablers are Controlling

Where else are you going to find someone who pays for your addiction. The recipient of the largesse has no choice but to stay within the sphere of the enablers control.

Enablers are possessive

I watched a show about people over 600 pounds who were so overweight they were bedridden. They needed people to bring them the huge amount of food necessary to maintain that weight. You can’t be that fat without an enabler. The enabler is aware of the undesirable state the of the other person. That’s what they want. They want to foster that dependence and decrease the chance that anyone else will want them. The enabler’s position as the irreplaceable one is secure. That person is, quite literally not going anywhere else.

The classic enabler

The enabler is a person who sees themselves as victimized for their kindness and they’d like others to see their self sacrificing ways. In truth enablers have a tangeelazarus@live.com/hate relationship with the person they support. They feel guilt over hurting the person and they want to punish the person for causing them pain. As much as the other person’s existence serves as a painful reminder of their failings, they can’t bear the thought of losing that person so they make the person so unattractive to others and so dependent upon them that the person cannot leave. Then the enabler feels guilty and the endless cycle resumes.

Enablers lack self awareness

Some enablers have insight into their own complex motives but many truly believe they are just being nice. The addict is addicted to the substance and the enabler is addicted to controlling the addict. That’s why they say addiction is a family problem.

See Link: A Man Tells Women That Women Ask to be Mistreated by Doing THIS

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Ladies, there is a path that does not lead to happily ever after–and the dead end path begins with the words “I am not ready for a commitment,” and you walk down the bumpy toad by overriding his objections to commuting to you. The name of that dead end road is “I know I can change him” Lane.

Sisters, if you are interacting with a man and he does not make a move on you and you want him to, the relationship expert in the above link says forget him. If a man does not initiate a COMMITTED romantic relationship, he does not want that from you. Do not think you can win him over by propositioning him. Do not make the first move on him bc by doing so you are freely offering yourself. Remember ladies: you are the prize. Prizes are won, not offered

Ladies you are volunteering to be mistreated when you hear him say he does not want a commitment but you do not listen. He will cheat. He will lie. And he won’t feel bad bc he told you what time it was. Do not, I repeat, do not, try to change the terms of the relationship as time goes on. A man knows what he wants and if he says it is not you, believe him. These words sound harsh but they are nothing compared to the words guys use with each other about the women from whom they don’t want commitments.

Anonymous Recording Post Works!

I’ve received the messages about the long awaited post. The video didn’t work. Now it does. Please go back and check for that video and other YouTube video links by going to the search box within my site and typing in “YouTube.” I am constantly learning how to better navigate WordPress and how to better publicize my work. This secret recording documents the words of a Honolulu envy ante “dealer.” This is a person who tries to support her habit by selling stuff. But she ends up doing the stuff and never gets ahead. This is a person pontificating about prostitution, something too low for her elevated status. Check it out!

https://expertescort2018.com/2020/10/11/anonymous-secret-recording-about-prostitution-honolulu-2020/

Links to 100’s of posts of hidden sex stories and secret recordings!

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It’s not ok to call myself a woman?

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This Twitter Link, or Tweet, is a brief commentary about how ridiculous political correctness has become. There’s no rewriting facts. The fact is, you are born anatomically male or female. Yes, I dare say, boy or girl. Change it all you want but you start out a bit or a girl. To think people will be angry at that statement!

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You can find hundreds of posts documenting my tales from Honolulu’s streets. Secret Recordings and Hidden Sex Stories accompany pictures

There’s NO such thing as anger management

In the year 2000 I was involved with a church. I mean, I was really into it. Isn’t it funny how there are times that you experience as alright, but when you reminisce about that time you’ll come to think of it as one of the best times in your life? The time I spent with my beloved Pastor “Yvette” was some of the best time in my life.

My pastor taught us that there’s no such ting as anger management. Anger cannot be managed. Anger must be dug up from the soul of a person’s heart, like the root of bitterness the Bible mentions. There is also no such thing as “blowing off steam” through angry actions. Anger is not something that is fixed and if you expend some you’ll be left with less in the reservoir. Anger, like all human emotions including love, is constantly replenished. Acting on it does not calm you, it only strengthens rage. I thought you’d like to know these truths.

Anger cannot be managed. It must be uprooted.

Pastor Yvette, Waianae, Hawaii

How to Control your Anger?

Once upon a time, there is a monk who is living in a small village. But he feels the village is full of noise. He wants to meditate peacefully so he …

How to Control your Anger?
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