The ideal sex partner. Women often describe this imaginary person in terms of personality traits as they imagine the doting partner. Men picture the person’s appearance. I have not said anything earth shattering and original so why are you reading the words of an author (moi) who offers well worn notions? Because I am sure you will be as surprised as I am when I reveal to you what men really want, in their heart of hearts. I discovered the secret image of man’s ideal sex partner. I know what very many men want, not because of what men said to me, but because of what men asked of me. The question that I have heard over 100 times (literally not figuratively) was a question that shocked me because it was so unexpected.
“Are you a boy or a girl?”
If I thought the question was a shocker, the correct answer was even more surprising. When I was asked that question I almost always had the wrong answer. When I gave the answer more often than not I was given 20 much appreciated dollars for my time and let off at the next block along Kukui Street in downtown Honolulu. Why?
“I’m looking for bbc,” someone told me as he pulled over to the curb to get rid of me.
“What’s that?” I asked, since I was never up on slang.
“You don’t know what that is? Look it up.” So I looked it up. My research revealed that what men wanted was the face of a beautiful woman and a curvy body. Check and check. I thought I was good to go and so did many drivers when they first spotted me and their hearts filled with a hope they’d hardly ever say aloud.
I missed out on being the perfect sex object because I didn’t have a penis. No bbc here. A strap on was not acceptable because anyone could get that.
“If only you had a dick” lamented one disappointed would-be client.
If I could not offer bbc I could not be at the top level of desirability. True story.

Enter a caption

Published by X-Streetwalker Turned Sex Talker

Caroleena used to be a drug addicted hooker on streets of downtown Honolulu in the early years of the 21st century. She was not the only learned streetwalker among the sex worker addicts. This group would have been a liberal college admissions officer's dream of diversity seeing as how they represented such a wide range of ages, races, family types, locations of origin, education levels, and gender identities. The two constants were trauma and dependency. Everyone out there had experienced life altering trauma which spurred them to seek refuge in drugs. Addiction was the unexpected phenomenon that kept them stuck in the dope. This downtown area was different from other drug saturated areas of America in one important way. The U.S. is the most violent country in the world, but in this corner of the nation there were no street gangs, no gun violence. You wouldn't get shot but you were probably going to be beaten up and robbed at some point. Interpersonal violence between intimate partners, friends, and family members was viewed as a natural part of being close to people. "Domestics" was something an individual brought upon herself or himself by causing problems in an interpersonal relationship. Caroleena, the perennial pariah even among society's rejects, had no intimate associates who might harm her. Prostitution was not as risky on Oahu as it was most everywhere else because the island was just too small. Everyone was somehow connected to everyone else with only something like two degrees of separation. You commit a crime, someone will know who you are and someone else will know how to find you. Hookers rarely got killed. Honolulu's relative safety allowed Caroleena over 10 years of street longevity until the scene ended when authorities started arresting men for allegedly soliciting undercover police for sex and posting their pictures on the evening news. tells Caroleena's adventures during her decade of addiction and its consequences--homelessness, prostitution, drug dealing, incarceration, family destruction, the list goes on. Every story relates events Caroleena experienced, witnessed, or imagined. The tale of this outcast is skillfully and paradoxically told in the language of the elite. The wording of the posts is itself a testimony to the wide grip that addiction has on all levels of society, even impacting the privileged who were previously thought to be immune to the troubles of the lower class. During these days of opiate addiction maybe she can answer some questions and present applicable solutions. If not, you are still in for a hell of a good read.

Join the Conversation


Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

  1. “Top level of desirability”, only if your scale is created and calibrated by the rather perverse (by my standards) male who accosted you. Undoubtedly you would obtain a better (certainly healthier), and more socially acceptable ranking if you were to remove that particular requirement. For most men, a penis other than their own is as useful as an appendix. You would certainly feel a little better about yourself, (as well you should), by including only those things which are a product of your own labors, rather than pointlessly using another’s scale to value yourself. The old adage about beauty being in the eye of the beholder is easily applicable here, as the sight, knowledge, or even inkling of the presence of a bbc, or one of any color, size, or shape would certainly slide the level of desirability far into the negative realm as far as i am concerned.


    1. You assume that I feel unhappy with myself. I am merely relating about what other people have said. There are men who struggle with their homosexuality and feel alone. I want to show people that there may be others just like them but it’s not known bc no one has intimate conversations about sexual proclivities they aren’t comfortable with. My words have less to do with me as a person than one might think. I am merely a mouthpiece. Thank you for helping me clarify and articulate my mission with this site.


%d bloggers like this: