What’s it like: Funny, at first. How could you not laugh at the thought of the alumni office carefully and quickly rushing the periodical to a valued grad who might make a generous donation. Until you remember that you won’t be making any donations unless you get s prison promotion to the 63¢ an hour workline position. You know that if they knew the exact location on Kalanianaole Highway, they’d skip your name on the mailing list. Efforts to send goodness your way are not investments because those efforts won’t yield dividends. Efforts for your benefit are a waste.
I do want the present reality of limited prospects as a convicted felon to change. In order to generate hope I have to believe my place in society can change and I cling to the hope by calling the things that are not as though they are. I want to become successful, as in self supporting at a level that allows for frequent air travel first class (I don’t need a personal plane because I am not greedy). I confess to you my fervent wish that this blog will allow me to become someone who has made 5he world better for having lived. If I do become a success by my standards I will also have to remove the taint of sexual indiscretion from my name, maybe by removing the the shame altogether. One day, I could generously donate the funds for a building that will bear my name along with a plaque detailing a sanitized version of my life story. Unlikely at best… but not impossible. Getting the alumni magazine in prison reminds me that things were once better than I ever imagined and they can be that way again. I need not feel grief at the loss of a chance to fund a building on campus. I am still alive. When my significant other died I saw first hand what THE END looks like, and I’m not there yet. Perhaps I have a future as an experience based sex therapist? Soon I will begin a YouTube channel FYI, and I could take questions, kind of like Dr. Ruth with a fufferent sort of doctorate. I may find another grad in the magazine who will be my partner. I think Halle Berry could play me in the movie… and Harvard will feature me on the cover of the alumni magazine.