Why do people seek to reassure me with the phrase “I haven’t forgotten you”

I’m waiting, waiting, waiting for someone to come through for me, to make good on a promise. I’m concerned because the time is fast approaching when it will be to late for the person to help me. Did she forget to come pick me up? Then I get the call.

Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten about you.

Now I feel worse. Had she forgotten, a reminder would remedy the situation. Here’s what I heard:

I remember what I am supposed to do for you. How could I forget about a promise I freely made. I am choosing to do something else, with the knowledge that you are, at this very moment, waiting for me to keep my word. Knowledge of the expectation of help I created in your mind, and awareness of the consequences you will face for my failure are not sufficient motivation for me to follow through.

I see

Let me tell you what I see

Not knowing, forgetting–fixable. Knowing and not caring–a permanent state of affairs that no false statement of reassurance can correct.

Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten about you, I simply don’t care enough to keep my word. But at least I can offer the conciliation that the awareness of my failure makes me feel some kind if way.

Published by Harvard Grad elite meets Honolulu backstreets

The story, full of wit and wisdom: Harvard➡Homeless➡Heroin➡Happiness. Past degradation➡present edification.

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