SETTING THE SCENE
If insanity is doing the same thing expecting different results, then I was sane. I did the same thing expecting the same results.
WHAT YOU WILL DO
You’re standing on a city street, Kukui Street, where you expect to see men looking to pay you for your time. You know cars drive slowly down this city block that’s a mix of light industry and residential high rises. Guys could be in the area to legitimately go to Safeway or– pick up a different kind of grocery. You’ll catch someone’s eye, he’ll nod towards a spot on the side of the road and pull over 20 feet ahead. You will casually walk up to the car and open the passenger side door, unlocked for your convenience. He will want to have sex, you will want to get the money as fast as you can, do as little as possible, and exit the vehicle at the first opportunity for you to leave him feeling satisfied and not so inclined to hit you and take back his money. You will want to drive far enough away so you are not seen ducking down below window level by the people who saw you get into the vehicle. You want to stay close enough to easily walk back in case things go south and you must flee or things go fine but he wants to get out of there and rid of you immediately.
HOW YOU WILL FEEL
You feel nothing but a throbbing impatience to get a date, get the money, get to the street dealer to get the dope, get to a place with enough privacy, safety, and light so you can get the needle in your arm and then…there is no “then” beyond the needle. No need to think about later on right now. You tell yourself to calm down as a car pulls over and your irritation at the prospect of having to wait til after the date to get high threatens to show.