I TOTALLY EMBARRASSED MYSELF TRYING TO SHOW A DATE I WAS AN EDUCATED HOOKER


THE ART OF SALES

Well over a decade ago, I worked for a prominent local car dealership for six days. The sixth day there was a drug test, and that was the end if my employment there. The six days were wonderfully educational. I learned so much about sales! Some lessons were intuitive, meaning, I could have guessed in my own. But other lessons were eye opening. For example, I knew I had to establish a bond with the potential buyer in order to make a sale, but I did not know that there were so many ways to establish this connection. I thought the only way to establish a bond was to show how much I had in common with the person. And that’s what I would endeavor to do whenever I got together with a potential trick. I would try to show what we had in common during the brief time between the pick up and the main event.

I MIGHT LOOK HISPANIC BUT I DON’T THINK I AM

I once met a potential client who was Puerto Rican. He said he thought I also was Puerto Rican because I looked Puerto Rican, in his opinion. I had heard that before because my birth mother wass white. I never met my birth father, and my birth mother was not sure who he was, not exactly. So when I spoke about my heritage I made an educated guess that I was part black. I was concerned that I would lose the date if I could not show that I had something in common with the Spanish speaking man, so I decided to demonstrate my knowledge of the Spanish language.

HOW HUMILIATING

I explained what I knew about my ethnic background to the potential date and I said confidently, proud of my knowledge of Spanish, “I am a mulatta.” I will never forget the look of pity in his face as he regarded me sympathetically.

Don’t ever call yourself that. Mulatto is a mule, an animal. It is a total insult. Almost as bad as the N word.”

Morena

I can still feel my face burning as I blushed a dusky red while he further explained that the word I was looking for was the word my suburban junior high school Spanish education had taught for “brunette.”
Morena. It means brunette, yes, but it’s also used for mixed race, curly hair, light brown skin. Morena. Never mulatta.

I HAVE ONE MORE STORY

I wish I could say that I had learned my lesson about trying to prove my proficiency in another language other than English. Unfortunately I have one more embarrassing story to share with you. I will share this story about how I tried to prove I wasn’t just an ordinary hooker very soon.

Published by Respectably Witty Harvard X-Hooker Advisor

Caroleena, ivy league educated X-Hooker in Honolulu, respectfully presents social commentary/wisdom based on experiences with humor for everyday people

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