X-HOOKER HACK


X-HOOKER LIFE HACKS: WORLD’S NEWEST EVERYDAY WISDOM FROM THE WORLD’S OLDEST PROFESSION

X-HOOKER HACK #26: Do not completely rely on your reputation as a bad-a** to protect you from people’s con games.

I recently was fooled by someone who promised to repay me by making his checking account joint, with me as the secondary. When he received his directly deposited paycheck I could recover my generous loan. I did not know that I did not know bank policy regarding joint accounts. I thought neither party was allowed to make unilatersl moves unbeknownst to the other party. In fact, both parties could make unilatersl moves–luke removing me from the account just before payday. When I turned away from the teller after she called her manager over to give me the bad news, I discovered what a humiliating walk of shame really felt like. Slinking home Sunday morning after a one night stand with a stranger who does not care enough to see me home is the usual meaning of “walk of shame.” Vainly smoothing Saturday night evening wear, rumpled from being tossed indifferently to an unfamiliar floor, as I stumbled along on bare swollen feet, holding my high heels by their threadbare straps– a bad look. And a conspicuous one, to boot. But that public display of poor judgement, did not begin to compare to how foolish I felt that Monday morning as I crossed the enormous chasm from teller to the escape exit door. Especially when I more than suspected people were watching. I knew I was under the microscope. I saw the small knot of bank employees gathered for the purpose of watching my reaction. I was sure that my staunch determination to remain expressionless was itself a reaction they discuss ad nauseum.

Lessons–if you are smart and you know you’re smart, you might incorrectly assume you know what you don’t know. Smart doesn’t equal informed. If people know you are smart, They might not trouble themselves with the impossible task of outsmarting you with finesse, in favor of the indelicate method if clubbing you, figuratively or literally, and taking your s***.

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Published by Respectably Witty Harvard X-Hooker Advisor

Caroleena, ivy league educated X-Hooker in Honolulu, respectfully presents social commentary/wisdom based on experiences with humor for everyday people

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