Mean Words From a Nice Trick and Why I Kept Seeing Him

The meanest words directed at me came as a total surprise. I have explained before that relationships change when people spend time together. People forget the tiles they are supposed to have and start relati g in a way that’s comfortable. That’s why there are rules against forming relationships that seem highly unlikely but are quite common. Student-teacher. Prison guard-inmate. Provider-client. I have always been fascinated by the evolution of a person’s role in my life.  I have enjoyed saying to myself, “I may actually have a friend! What a surprise.”

Imagine how my surprise grew when the person turned abusive. Some of the meanest things ever said to me came from someone almost immediately after I thanked him for doing something nice for me. I don’t know why, buy I believe the person wanted to remind me and himself that this is not a friendship. Don’t get it twisted. Shall I give you an example to illustrate the point? I can do that for you.

A while back my residence changed the pet policy. Without warning I had until the end of the week to produce notarized copies of a contract with someone agreeing to provide emergency care in case I was in the hospital or somewhere that required me to be away from home and my animal for over 24 hours. The person promised to be available in the event of emergency. Lacking the pet custodian was a death sentence for your pet. Once management heard of your absence they’d summon representatives of the Humane Society who would put the animal in pet jail, where it would be put to death in a few days if it didn’t get adopted. 

I would either lose my cat or my lease wouldn’t get renewed. The notarized letter presented a big challenge because I needed someone to agree to take time out and go with me to my bank. Everyone I know was busy hunting for dope or getting high. No one had time for someone else’s beloved furry friend.

I was venting to a long term regular, with no expectation of help when, like a knight in shining armor he took the documents and “the girls in the office”at his workplace handled everything. I turned in the requirements ahead of schedule, securing my home for myself and my furry friend. Naturally I thanked him, but he shrugged it off as unnecessary. 

[you will not believe what just happened! I was going through my journals, because I am a lifelong journaler and unbelievably I stumbled upon the actual entry that I wrote at the time of the incident I’m about to right on. How fortuitous is that. Obviously you dear readers were meant to hear what my regular–not my friend–said to me in response to my thanks for the extraordinary help he gave me.]

“I’m over looking for young gorgeous women. I like hanging out with old women like you. I can come, get a massage play around when I like, talk, whatever. I remember this one stripper name Pepsi she was so amazingly gorgeous… But I don’t need that beauty thing anymore. Not every girl can be Pepsi. Girls like you are ok. So are some of the mamasans at the massage parlors. I don’t always go to see the popular girls. I know The Mamas and I go in the back and they’ll take care of me to for like, half the price. I can see old women because I’m old. I’m not looking to get married, I’m already married. I enjoy coming here.”

Yep, that’s the journal entry.  Hurts me to write it. But, while I’m sharing what I’ve been willing to accept… Let’s not forget the time he spoke of a story in the news about young guys in housing projects who set garbage on fire. “When I want to play with garbage I come see you.” I ever saw that remark coming.

The last cruelty was in response to my pleasant surprise that he recalled a minor detail from a story I had told. ” I pay attention. Doesn’t mean I care, because I don’t. I listen bc it’s a good way to score points.”

Needless to say I stopped saying thank you and giving compliments, lest he think I needed reminding we weren’t friends. But some company is better than no company. I was afraid that after too much isolation I would start talking to the cat more and even worse hearing the cat talk back. Worst of all, complete isolation might make me hear the cat get angry with me and start saying mean things like this. So I kept seeing him. You get used to things.

8 responses to “Mean Words From a Nice Trick and Why I Kept Seeing Him”

  1. sounds like the guy was rationalizing attempting to hide how he really feels. For example if a hungry person asked for food and is told that there isn’t anymore. That hungry person may say “It’s OK I wasn’t hungry anyway”
    The story about coming to see garbage tells me that he really feels you have some value that he doesn’t want to throw away. The remark about just because he listens doesn’t mean he cares; he is listening because he does care. He helped you out with the predicament, doing something he didn’t have to do; while shrugging it off as a minor detail knowing how important it was to you.
    I guess he want to remind himself that the relationship can’t be anything other then client-provider and didn’t want you to feel otherwise….


  2. Thank you for the very kind words. Your Seinfeld reference makes me laugh as I was a big fan of the “Show about nothing.” I think it is the simple reality in which you write that makes it so fun to read. For me personally, it is more than just that. I grew up in Hawaii but now live overseas. I was a consumer in your trade. I was caught once in a reverse sting. Had your blog been around way back then I may have known the right words to say (or not to say) to avoid arrest. But that is all water under a bridge that passed many years ago. Your frank commentary and the familiarity of where and what you write about has me enthralled. Thank you again.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Rich, have you had a chance to help me out, by forwarding it, liking it, being a follower–I have really no idea how to get the blog to tip over into the hit that a Kardashian would see and no doubt endorse, but I am hoping you have that knowledge. Or you know someone who can take this blog to the next level…I just thought i would ask because if you don’t pray, god can’t hear, according to one saying!
      Thanks for thinking of me,
      Caroleena Renee


      • I can’t believe yours having a hard time finding readers! I am an escort in Seattle I also stumbled across your blog and LOVE IT! I will tweet it and be a follower anything to help. You are an inspiration I hope to go to law school soon. I’ve sat for hours reading this.


      • I am so touched by your comment. it is just about finding people like you who will spread my blog to others, yadda, yadda, yadda. I love seattle, it is where I met my birth mother and the first destination i had the first time i was on a plane. i too am hoping to go to law school, though not because i am such a law abiding citizen (lol) but more out of respect for the ideas and the fun of arguing for a living. thank you so much and I am glad to have you with me in these early days. we will look back on this and remember when…


      • Katarina, I was reviewing my comments and I want to thank you again for your kind words. I do hope you’re still checking out, and telling all your contacts! Thanks, Caroleena the ExpertEscort


  3. I happened upon your blog yesterday and quite frankly, I haven’t been able to stop reading it. You are a very gifted writer. This particular post literally brought tears to my eyes. I’m sorry that these are things that you faced. It is very easy to become cynical and bitter having faced many of the experiences that you have. Rather than bitter and cynical, your blogs are entertaining, informative, and captivating. Thank you for inviting me into your life.


    • you are the first person to ever specifically call me not bitter. i love it. and i am touched by your comment. i don’t do nearly as well in real life drawing people to me so it is a delightful surprise to appeal to people remotely. when i started the blog i hoped for three readers. me, my second email, maybe someone like you, but maybe not–so ok, two readers for sure. every person who takes the time to read my writing, which is similar to Seinfeld only in the sense that it is about nothing but what i think and notice, every person is a completely unexpected blessing (if god calls the shots on blogs). keep communicating and forwarding, if forwarding is your trip!


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