Rape Victims Everywhere
Remember my felony charge I have always considered ridiculous–the possession of $10 of an opiate? I ended up doing months on end spread out over several years during the first years of this century. When I went to The Women’s Community Correctional Center, the prison for women in Hawaii, I discovered that I did not fit in with my peers any better there than elsewhere. However, at WCCC the women respected me. I don’t quite remember how the idea got around that I was smart but it was generally agreed that I was intelligent. People did not want to hang out with me as a friend. But when I expressed genuine interest in their lives women spoke to me freely. I’m talking about topics that are still taboo–history of abortions, details of their crimes, past molestation and rape. You name it. The intense one time only conversations are some of my best memories of interactions with other people. Yours truly here knew no boundaries and I am guessing that women who never had a chance to enjoy someone else’s interest in their lives warmed to my probing questions. Now that I think of it, I have been the most common topic of my conversations and writing long before this blog–resumes, applications for jobs and scholarships. interviews, sharing my story at conferences for adoptees who had found their birth mothers as I had at age 18, etc…I was used to talking about myself and took for granted others would want to know about me. Hence the idea of this blog. But other women have not enjoyed this privilege. The women at Women’s (as we call it here in Hawaii) mostly didn’t have the chance to think of themselves as a people of interest. I don’t want to get into characteristics of the population in this post. What I want to note is that every woman I spoke with told me she had been molested by a family member. I met two women who had children by their own fathers. Let’s assume not everyone was honest. Many people get off on playing the victim. Still that’s a lot of women victimized. Yet–
I HAVE NEVER MET AN ADMITTED MOLESTER OR RAPIST
Where are the guys who have done these deeds? I have asked a few men if men talk about rape among themselves when women aren’t around and I was told no way, absolutely not. I must be surrounded by sex offenders. Ok, maybe not surrounded, or maybe so, but for sure I have met men who are rapists and molesters. I am very curious to know if men know who is who among them. I met one man who tried to rape me, and failed due to my use of rape avoidance strategies I have shared. Yes I will tell the story. I have met one man who said he had rape fantasies and that was the extent of the conversation. I met one transgender person who was an inmate at Women’s who said she was afraid of doing to her son what had been done to her. But that is the extent of my knowledge. Are there secret societies, personal conversations among close male friends? I decided to ask you all.