PART I: I Know How To Beat a Polygraph…a ripple effect of an inmate subculture that condones sexual misconduct w/ staff in hopes of suing


I was incarcerated for a minor possession charge. I tell you this info in the interests if full disclosure though I’ve been warned you’ll reject me if you know. It did not take long to find out that many women dreamed of the big payday that resulted from successfully suing staff for sexual misconduct. You see, when a person is incarcerated her legal status is very similar to a child’s. She is a ward of the state. The power differential between staff and inmate is so extreme it is impossible for an inmate to consent to sex, no matter how she feels. Legally, all sex between staff and inmates is rape. If the guy brings her dope , he drugged her. If he takes her off the grounds he has kidnapped her. If she can prove it, that’s good money. Sometime around 2010 the state of Hawaii contracted with a privately run prison in Kentucky. Women with significant amount of time to do, like over 5 years, without pre-existing problematic health conditions, were flown to the mainland. FYI, I only know the stories I heard, I was not there. According to legend Kentucky employed 18 year old boys and paid them minimum wage. These guys were not intellectual Giants since the job at that pay level didn’t attract the cream of the crop. These hormonal young men, just out of high school, were no match for the seduction tactics of mercenary hard-bitten women. Rumor had it that one comely woman, doing life for murder, won over a million dollars when guards snuck her out of the prison to “party.” Women always gossipped about her promiscuous ways, her constant attempts to seduce, when she tied her t-shirt to expose her midriff during rec. None of the women thought anyone had been raped but no one felt sorry for the young guards arrested for rape. Hey, if you can’t stand the heat…

Not everyone matched her level of success, but there were lesser awards. Once, a couple of years after I was out, a former inmate looked me up because she knew my reputation for helping people with genuine complaints. She had a garment with a guard’s DNA. Another woman had planned to use it to sue, but because like many Hawaii prison staff and inmates, she had grown up with the guard, she couldn’t go through with it. She wasn’t too moral to give the item to her friend. This friend wanted to know from me if I thought scientists could tell that her DNA was added months after the original event. She also told me that proving oral sex could get her $30,000, straight sex $100,000, sodomy perhaps as much as a quarter million. If I helped her I could expect to share in the winnings.

I told her “no” but not because I thought I was really turning down money. I doubted anything would come of this harebrained plan. Besides, if she was willing to ruin a guy for nothing (best case scenario), I doubted honoring her word was a priority. I did not share my assessment of her character but I did tell her science is always progressing in ways you may not discover til you get tripped up.

The encounter with my fellow ex-offender reminded me of my own peripheral participation in another lame scheme that would never have been financially profitable bc there’s just no money in inappropriate staff comments made to someone else. And this is when the polygraph came in…(to be continued)

Published by Respectably Witty Harvard X-Hooker Advisor

Caroleena, ivy league educated X-Hooker in Honolulu, respectfully presents social commentary/wisdom based on experiences with humor for everyday people

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