Die and Get Into Heaven? Not if You Say This…


Two guys, Americans named Tom and Harry, died at the exact same time on earth and as a result they were in line side by side, waiting to talk to St. Peter, Heaven’s gatekeeper who interviewed prospects. St. Peter came out and said there was a lot of time in eternity and now and again, they liked to shake up the standard procedure. St. Peter addressed the group and said,

Think about your best characteristic and ask Admissions to apply that characteristic when reviewing your case. You determine the code by which you are judged.

St. Peter, explaining the experimental decision making process for Heaven’s admission committee. Heaven is easier to get into than Harvard, but like Harvard, the President doesn’t deal with the day to day goings-on.

They guy in front of Tom and Harry said, “I have always had a great sense of humor. I want the committee to look at my life and laugh. I think that will get me into heaven.”

He was right. He went in to the next room to argue his case. There was a lot of laughter and they saw a check mark light up over the door to the inner chamber. That one got approved.

The guy behind them said, “I am ready, take me now. I have never asked too much from myself or from other people. I was really easy to get along with. I always had low standards.” They doubted that he would get in with that way of thinking, but the green light of approval went on and that was another person on his way to meet the Big Guy.

Tom turned to Harry and gave him his idea of his best characteristic. Harry shook his head. Tom was quite certain Harry would not be admitted even though he prized a moral code that most people thought was right and honorable. Tom was correct. Harry went in to the main chamber and before too long the red X of rejection lit up over the door and the elevator went down. God’s thoughts are not our thoughts

Question: What moral code did Harry ask to be judged by that caused him to be sent to hell, even though most people believe it is right to do things this way?

Answer to follow

Published by Respectably Witty Harvard X-Hooker Advisor

Caroleena, ivy league educated X-Hooker in Honolulu, respectfully presents social commentary/wisdom based on experiences with humor for everyday people

2 thoughts on “Die and Get Into Heaven? Not if You Say This…

    1. What’s your guess? What valued human characteristic will keep you out of heaven if the admission committee applies it to judging your life’s work.

      Liked by 1 person

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