Here’s what I know now that I’d tell my 13 year old self. The beginnings of true wisdom.

advice for my middle school self. Let’s say I couldn’t change my circumstances, that I was deliberately provided clothing that would make me a laughingstock, for example. I’d comfort my pre-teen self, a hapless young lady who struggled with her hair thanks to Seventeen (17) Magazine (a periodical for straight haired white girls). The white kids in my Gifted and Talented class shot spitballs into my out of control hair and laughed when the paper wads got lost in my pouf of frizz. I’d turn the tables on all those kids who called me a “loser” by dealing with the mockers the same way I presently deal with would-be rapists: gain the upper hand with a jaw dropping totally unexpected manuever for which there’s no precedent. During the initial surprise caused by my actions I would become a winner simply by confidently saying that’s what I was. Picture it: I’d call the “Spark” G&T class to order, stand up on a desk and announce to all the kids and the teacher that I was the leader of my own path. I was doing my own thing and this right path I was on–they’d have to do as I did to become independent.

I’d dishonestly declare my hair and my poverty clothes– my choice, that’s what I would have everyone think. I’d invite anyone who wanted to be a free thinker to follow me while I…I followed no one but my spirit guide. I might look hopelessly out of style but in truth I was above it all. Yep, 7th graders would stand in awe of a peer pontificating thusly from a desk top. My isolation would signify my advanced state rather than my loser status.

My Lessons

  • No one is as confident as they look
  • Everyone feels afraid of rejection and wonders if he or she is acceptable
  • Anyone brave enough to break with the rank and file with apparent ease would be respected
  • A declaration of Independence and confidence is a self fulfilling prophecy
  • People aren’t thinking about you bc they’re too consumed by thoughts of themselves.
  • Stand up to those who mock you and they’ll back right down in shock.
  • If you do something bizarre in front of bullies they’ll think you’re crazy and be reluctant to mess with someone so unpredictable. (Works on would be rapists too.)

If you could go back to 7th grade, unable to change anything but knowing what you know now–what would that scene look like? If you could Turn Back Time…
Thu March 05, 2020 9:16 PM

One response to “Here’s what I know now that I’d tell my 13 year old self. The beginnings of true wisdom.”

  1. I’d find it difficult to communicate just how much my 7th grade self needs to not give a shit what others think. The mindset is just not there to understand that cliques and meeting that fishbowl society’s approval is just not important in the long run, to the world in general, or most importantly to yourself. Generally speaking we are geared from infancy to make others happy. Even the most selfish families have children that want to make terribly selfish parents happy. We won’t name notable families which fit that description. We all want to fit in as we cluster and huddle from the cruel world.

    I was fortunate enough to discover some of the above thoughts shortly after that age and needed the approval of others less and less throughout my growth. There are other problems that develop from this frame of personality. You get labeled as having problems with authority and being difficult to manage. I’d like to point out I have never had a problem with someone worthy of authority or respect. Note the key word in that last statement please.

    I’d have to tell myself to wise up sooner and put my current state of realization into my younger self. Now… the interesting question is what would our golden years selves struggle to tell us now?


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