I did what no one had ever done:
I knew his truth and I was the first and only one to say:
He doubted, at first, “Really? Are you sure?”
I held fast to my truth, the truth that worked for me and I would present to him as a gift:. “It’s OK. It really is.”
In what turned out to be his last hours alive he asked me again, “Even that? You really don’t mind?”
In one of my finest moments I was able to fill someone’s last hours on Earth with love and acceptance for who he was, knowing that I had left him in a hotel bar, unsuccessfully trying to persuade a guy to come home to him, and later he would have had me join them. But wait, the guy said “no” bc he didn’t want to upset his wife? Maybe next time. Discussion over, no big deal. Use my tablet with the bigger screen for Pornhub. I’ll see you in the morning. I’m tired now. Of course, as you faithful readers know the next time I’d see him, his body would be on my kitchen floor, next to it, my tablet, and his spirit–gone. I hope I live my last moments fully being myself– bc I’m lived for being the real me and I know it. How many people want that last minute back, before time’s up ⌛ bc they didn’t get the lesson deep in their souls that you never go to bed angry or anything less than at peace, for good reason.
In a life full of mistakes I did right by accepting that which I didn’t truly like but couldn’t change and did not judge. I had a moment of…wisdom? Yes, even me. Therefore you can do it if I can!