EVEN SEX WORKERS NEED “SOFT SKILLS”
Resume building apps want you to work your so called soft skills into your resume. What some call people skills. An interesting fact about prostitution is that the lack of true intimacy makes the work a good fit for someone who doesn’t like people or who doesn’t know how to relate. As my faithful readers know, my people skills are quite poor. I just don’t get it, whatever it is. And the fact that it changes every encounter doesn’t help. What is “it”? What’s required of me.
You’d think with my word power I would Excel at a task involving speech, such as a gig that requires me to humiliate a client–at his request. Alas, I failed, for two reasons. The first reason was my misunderstanding the client’s true motive. I thought he was condemning certain features in order to prompt an argument from me. Like, when a woman says “I look so fat” to get someone to say “no you don’t,” because what she really wants is reassurance. I had no experience with someone who wanted humiliation so I had to draw upon the experience I had. I argued with him “Too small? Abnormally tiny? Let me get a ruler…you see, I told you it’s fine!” All the while he grew more frustrated as he insisted upon something factually untrue. Oh! He wanted me to degrade him no matter the reality. I never realized.
I embarked on mistake #2. If he wanted put downs, I could up the ante, and really bring the insults with my top notch vocabulary. “You think that’s bad–have you ever looked at those? Now those are what I’d call sub standard.” I thought he would be well pleased with me, exceeding expectations like that. He looked down at himself and in a small, wounded voice said, “I never noticed before.” He said I was mean. He left unhappy (thankfully he didn’t ask for his money back). I was confused. And hurt, to be totally honest. If I was supposed to dominate and humiliate than the submissive person could not set the terms. Otherwise the submissive party was truly dominant and the dominant submissive role play was an ironic joke and not what it appeared to be. Oh! I never was very good at subtext. Now I know if I’m asked to dominate I have to follow instructions.