No, this sex worker won’t do anything and everything sexual under the sun. In fact, she is probably more clear about her boundaries than women who haven’t had to deal with these issues as often and under such a variety of sexual circumstances. Here’s a list of NON-NEGOTIABLE NO EXCEPTION sex standards. The “9 non’s” is what I call the list.
The list has developed and evolved over the years as people made sex requests for things I never thought about. I had to think carefully about who I was, bc believe it or not, a person does not always know what’s truly ok unless she defines her foundational beliefs in advance. I have been faced with a new situation I never would have thought of in a lifetime. I was like, “I guess so…let’s see how it goes.” Things went along and I’d have to say “stop, that’s not ok. I changed my mind.” And the guy would understandably be mad bc he had done all the securing of permission women advocates said a guy must do, and it was like I was kind of accusing him of doing something not ok. I didn’t want to plant a root of bitterness in a guy which would cause him to give up on getting permission–and just have at it. But more importantly, I wanted to know my own mind.
I say every Man and woman should have this ongoing discussion with self, working boy/girl or not. No one wants regret after the fact.
📝 The 9 Non’s, A Sex Standards List
The 9 Non’s for All partners:
2. Homo Sapien or Human
7. Physically non-threatening
8. Not involved with biohazardous waste
9. Flexibly Respectful
Circumstances change but I never do. I can count on myself to be the same Me. And that’s a nice feeling of strength and stability.
I will explain each one of the 9 Non’s in the following 9 posts. Next up, a thorough explanation of what adult means to me.