When I think about yesterday’s blog about how lonely it can be in sobriety, I had to consider that no one has really paid a lot of attention to the loss involved in getting clean. There’s loss involved in making any change. It is stressful when things work out right. We think we have no right to “complain” about how difficult it can be to succeed and get off the streets or reach some other longed for milestone. But we are not complaining as much as we are expressing the truth. Yes our old life was fraught with difficulties to say the least. But there are things we miss, and we feel ashamed to miss them because we are told they were bad. For example, I miss the way cars would pull over for me and give me that fleeting feeling of being chosen in a life full of rejection. There’s nowhere I can say that given the stigma surrounding being a sex worker. But also, there’s so much emphasis on being relentlessly positive I feel there’s no room to be honest. I am not talking about dwelling on self pity but just talking about the feeling of an experience, knowing it will change but it is my reality now., this moment. So for all of you who have moments of pain, loss, sadness, a lot of bloggers won’t say this: me too! Lol!