There are things we are not supposed to admit we liked. Sobriety-great! A roof over your head–essential! Knowing where your next meal is coming from– joyous! I am so grateful. And I am, truly. But believe it ir not I enjoyed elements of addiction that a young me would never have imagined. My days began with no money, regretting the loss of my last twenty dollar bill. Could’ve given the dope man $18, but I had been too impatient to stop at the corner store to make change. Now, no candy. Future hunger was nothing compared the anticipation of drugs in 5 minutes. Hours later, the dope was gone and involuntary sobriety loomed. I was on Kukui St, stomach growling audibly, looking for someone looking for me. Anything could happen The surprising truth is– I had enjoyed myself, immensely. Those days are fond memories. Today my fridge is full of food I like. I am grateful and protective of what I have. Still, this linked Youtube video of dangerous activities looks like what I’ve been missing lately.