I hear this all the time: the one non negotiable for me in a relationship is honesty. But why? Am I a court of law? Do I have such status that there’s a penalty for lying to me? Am I so insecure that I need people to be honest? Whatever that means. Now I say: who am I to try to bend someone to my will? People will be who they are no matter what I demand or expect. If someone wants to lie I cannot change that. But the really revolutionary idea is this: who says I have to be mad about someone lying to me. It’s completely possible to shrug it off. “That’s just how he is. I will never know where he went. Oh well.” You’re not giving someone permission to lie. The deeper truth is people lie without your permission already and there’s nothing you can do. Don’t get mad. Show the other person you’re like, “oh well.” Stand back while you watch them be blown away and your relationship change. As long as you honestly do not care about their lying, your new way of dealing with the liar you love will work. Would I prefer the truth? Sure. If I don’t get it, no biggie. Imagine a heretofore unobtainable internal peace if you’ve known the frustration of loving an unrepentant liar. You can change your life, all by yourself. And my guess is, your significant other will be beside himself that you no longer trip out bc you do not know what’s impossible for you to know anyway. Someone, write and tell me how this strategy works!