Life us a good news/bad news story. The good news: you can get used to anything. The bad news? You guessed it. You can get used to anything. A central theme in stories of addiction is how a person grudgingly reduces the number of things they never intend to do. “Absolutely never” becomes “well, maybe.”
ADDICTION DRIVEN PROSTITUTION HAS A PREDICTABLE COURSE
Addiction is comprised of ia predictable sequence of events. You feel terrible about the standard you have disregard, but, there was nothing to be done about the exigent circumstances. “Whatever it takes” to get more dope is no longer an unimaginable hypothetical but part of your world. It’s nit like you are going to do this forever. Only temporary , you tell yourself. This thing you have to do is not who you are, just something you did. On a limited basis. You refuse to redefine yourself based on a temporary deviation from your norm . For example, You’re not a prostitute. You did engage in prostitution out of necessity but you did not mean it. You’re not like one if those people on street corners. Ok, you admit that an observer would not know the difference between you and the prostitutes near you. But you viewed to never forget who you really were.
IT GETS EASIER
You maintain your self image as “not like the rest of them,” but this understanding does not repeat in your mind like a mantra that you needed to continuously recite to help you do the deed. Before too long you find that you have gotten used to the once unimaginable. Mantras are not necessary. You expect men to see you and want you and do something in order to spend a bit of time with you. You never think about the specifics of the deed. Aside from those unmentionable unpleasant specifics, you start enjoying yourself! The easy, tax free money. The adventure of never knowing where you’re going to be from one hour to the next. Seeing the whole island of Oahu when dates take you back to their place. Your 100% success rate when it came to getting a date. When you walked to Kukui Street in downtown Honolulu you only waited minutes or even seconds, for a car to pull over. You even get used to blocking out what you’re doing while you’re doing it by what you call “going away inside my head.”
LIFE IS A GOOD NEWS BAD NEWS STORY
The unthinkable has been reframed. Now you call it Tuesday. Or Wednesday. Whatever day. Every day. And through it all, you still believe you’re nit like the rest of them. Without repression and denial no one would be able to get an addiction off the ground!