I am now at an age that is not old, don’t get me wrong, but it’s an age that brings unanticipated experiences. People who are much younger than me are Professionals who have had time in their careers. I used to let the student doctors learn on me. Now the young people are the specialists. They look like children. The specialist I saw yesterday talked like a valley girl. She is too young to know the term valley girl. She came and said:
It’s like, super awesome to meet you. For real.Specialist who looked too young to be a doctor.
You know how I felt? I felt like a failure. You know with my time on the street reapplied properly I could have been a judge by now. Instead I am contemplating law school and I know it is a victory to even contemplate that step. People want to inspire the youth and that’s appropriate. Now I want to be an inspiration as the oldest person in the room. Well I guess I would be ok with just feeling like an inspiration. When I was a little kid there was a show on called “That’s Incredible,” with guests that did things like fold himself up and get into a small glass box. That was cool. However I hated the spin off, “Those Incredible Kids,” with all the child prodigy-genius-7 language-speaking-at-age-5 kids. Hated them. The lady who adopted me would go on the attack by pointing out my deficiencies compared to those kids. It’s bad enough to know you don’t measure up but don’t you wish more people pretended not to know it or see it. No one said anything to me in the young doctor’s office. Just my own voice, measuring myself by the yardstick of youthful achievement. My inner voice anxiously murmured “I hope I get successful at something soon so I can get in touch with people from my past without having to lie about my career.