I do not have it in me to trust people


I tried to make arrangements to have someone watch my cat and my car with someone while I went on vacation. I could not believe anyone would do anything for me out of the goodness of their hearts. I start out believing but as hours, minutes, go by, I become increasingly convinced that no one would keep their word out of faithfulness to me. Ultimately I could not leave anything in anyone’s care. I had no idea I would feel this way but there it is. There is no point in asking for help BC unless I can identify a way helping me would be disproportionately advantageous to them I would never have faith that thwyd follow through. Alternatively, if I know someone who embraces the principle of reliability in a way that has nothing to do with me, I could ask this person for help due to their impersonal motivation. The upshot: I discovered there is long term parking at Honolulu airport for $18/day and I know someone who will feed the cat but won’t spend rime with him. That is an option… So is the $100 Alaska pet fee. I’m going to have to take the cat with me. I might be too jaded to do anything else. It is not just that people do not like me but that I don’t like people. Too much has happened and I no longer believe in my heart that goodwill can come my way. Rather than finding this thought depressing the acceptance makes me feel more at ease. Trippy, yes?

Published by Harvard elite Homeless in HI🏝

Harvard grad on Hawaii Streets Tells All About the Red Light District in Paradise.

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