“Fun is Not Always a Team Sport,” said the selfish man I loved

  New post on Brainiac Honolulu Hooker   Hooker Hack #5 by X-Streetwalker Turned Sex TalkerFun is not always a team sport.”      One reason people seek prostitutes is that they want to have a time that is all about them, to the exclusion of everyone else, including provider. No worries about anyone’s unmet needs, no performance anxiety over the thought of failing to please, no expectation that they ask questions and best of all, no expectation they listen. The provider does not care as long as she is paid and for some people at least some of the time, the indifferent arrangement is just what the doctor ordered. All that is required is coloring within the lines (complying with the provider rules) . Within said boundaries they can do whatever they want to do and don’t have to do it particularly well by anyone’s standard but their own. What a lovely vacation from intimacy responsibilities! Sometimes there’s fun in numbers but at other times a guy wants to be alone and your role is to help him enjoy active alone time X-Streetwalker Turned Sex Talker | December 25, 2018 at 7:39 am | Tags: Escort secrets, intimacy&relationships | Categories: Escort Life Hacks, Questions to escorts | URL: https://wp.me/p8wemN-7P Comment    See all comments    Like   Unsubscribe to no longer receive posts from Brainiac Honolulu Hooker .
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Those were the words of a woman, me, Caroleena, who was trying to make sense of the death of the person I loved, and who loved me, kind of, but who was mostly gay so he never really committed–to me. He wanted me when he wanted me. He never lied to me. He just wanted to see me when he wanted to, not when he didn’t. You might think this is normal, but what is normal is seeing a person you are in an indefinable relationship with at times when you do not want to see the other person but you do it anyway. He did not do things “anyway.” He did things when he enjoyed them, for his pleasure, not for anyone else’s. It was extraordinarily honest. Selfish. Hurtful. More than any other person, male or female, he loved himself, he preferred his own happiness to anyone else’s. This preference for selfishness was something that he struggled with along with his intermittent desire for the same gender. He talked about that struggle, the struggle to be more concerned about another person so as to maintain a relationship, with me, not in an honest way about why he was conflicted but about some of the memorable times he had and why those times did not include thoughts of other people. Why did he tell those stories? I told him I was interested in knowing what he was like all the way through, which was not as true as the reality that I wanted to make myself more accepting than any other person he could ever meet so that he would stay with me because no one else would give him the freedom to be himself–guilt free. The even deeper truth than that? I was so happy to hear from him because he reaccepted me into his life after a period of days that I would have listened to him talk about anything as long as he was talking to me. And that was how I ended up hearing about why he did not really love other people the way they wanted him to. In the course of those experiences he often said, “Fun is not always a team sport.” For him, fun was never a team sport. I do not know why I loved him so much, but I did.

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