I unsuccessfully try to remain cold
I am an orphan. No family. Without people to help me learn social skills while I was growing up, I had no lessons in getting along with others. Unfortunately: I was not gifted in the area of social skills. I would have benefited from a “how to” manual. I had no manual. I had no friends. The state of affairs remained the same well into adulthood when I found a way to obtain social interaction. My motives for being a sex worker were complex. I needed the money. I needed a place of refuge from isolation. Amazingly there were people who saw me for years. They were the only people to initiate contact with me. Even more incredibly, there were a few who cared. About me! Bailed me out of jail. Bought me a plane ticket when my wallet was stolen on a solo (what else?) vacation off-island and I had only purchased a one way ticket. Funded my rent when I was short. Paid for the exterminator so there would be no way bugs could set up shop in my apartment. One guy dropped everything and sped from Kamala (a suburb) to downtown Honolulu when I accidentally did nor bring enough money to cover a cab ride and the driver had called the police. That was an important moment because I had to correctly determine who could afford to rescue me and who had transportation fast enough to to beat the police to the scene. This person was able and willing. Yet it is a complicated relationship BC we could never be seen together in public. It is not accurate to say that every action us exploitation. Would you call this person a friend?
I can never keep my heart out if interactions. I come across as sarcastic and cold but I care. I wish I had this relationship as the primary person in a man’s life. But consider this, without sex work I would have no one at all BC how would I lure people in past my difficult personality? All is not what our prejudices think is correct.