Men who lie to their hookers and their wives out of habit



Men can be so accustomed to lying to women that they forget the reason they hired a sex worker in the first place. There are men, quite a lot of them, that hire women for sex so they can cut to the chase. They do not want to woo, do not want to send flowers, do not want to go out on dates, and for god’s sake, they most certainly do not want to listen to her. They just want sex, right now, with no strings attached, for real. Sex workers can provide the lack of emotional involvement that men seek when they just want to “hit it and quit it.” But the unexpected happens when people spend time together. No matter what we intellectually know about the other person’s status, or lack of status, about the rules forbidding relationships, etc…people who spend time together get attached.

Attachment is inevitable over time. Strings happen.

Even sex workers get attached to the clients. This is not to say that they start feeling like the clients owe loyalty. Sometimes expectations develop but mostly, they do not. Sex workers, on the street anyway, are using the men as a means to an an end, to obtain the object they truly want. They do not care if the men see other women. They cannot imagine a client who did not see other women. Seeing different women is rather the point, is it not? But men who are used to lying find themselves lying to the women they hire precisely because they seek emotional indifference. If they see a provider for any length of time they start lying to the provider just like they lie to their wives. The difference is the provider knows more about what the guy is really up to in his intimate life than the wife. It is always amusing when a client has said he was late for an appointment because he had to work, then he leaves behind a receipt from one of the bars (often Korean) where the women are there to encourage men to buy them watered down drinks for $20 a drink. The men get the fawning attention of women who are out to get that money for the bar and maybe they will do extra for themselves in a back room that the bar makes sure never to acknowledge. So the guy told the provider he was working, and the provider finds a receipt he left behind from one of those “buy me drinkee” bars. He did not have to lie to her but he did. It is not like she would get mad. Ok, realistically she would feel a twinge that he would go elsewhere, but she does not expect loyalty. Why does he lie?

For some men, lying is the thrill of the thing. If they have nothing to lie about they don’t feel they are doing anything fun.

It is possible he did not want her to see that he paid the bar more than he paid the provider. But I think there are guys who say they do not want attachment, but they want the women to be jealous, they want the women, be they providers or significant others, to want them. They like believing that if they do not lie about what they were doing the woman will have a fit about sharing him. Guys without insight into the depths of their motives do not realize what they are doing. Some wonder hoe they ended up lying more often, not less, and to more than one woman as well as their wives. Their subconscious fantasy causes them to tell themselves they seek providers to simplify their lives but the real truth is they crave complications and drama that stems from their starring role as the object of desire for multiple women. These men want to bed more than one woman, and they want to make more than one woman fall in love with them. And the guys don’t even know it.

Men want to feel important enough to have to lie about where they have been. They want to believe a woman would lose it at the thought of him running amuck.

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