https://www.the-sun.com/tech/5646333/inside-giant-nuclear-powered-flying-hotel-earth/ This linked article thrills someone who might participate. When you are on drugs you let stories about luxurious fantasy vacations slip away, beneath awareness. All of your money goes toward funding your addiction. Moreover, you cannot tear yourself away from pursuing your obsession for long enough to find out about a flying hotel, much less plan to buy a ticket. And forget about getting on a plane. No matter your intention, or promises made to self or others, you don’t show up for anything. You might not have been lying when you promised to be there but then…your drug connection didn’t show up to take your stolen money, or you were on a winning streak gambling in one of the many illegal gamerooms in Honolulu, or whatever. You lose track of time. Or tell yourself you’ll leave after you take one more hit off the pipe. Or you completely forget. Once you’re late, then really late you tell yourself, no point in showing up now, all high. You decide next time will be better bc before the appointment you’ll abstain for a whole day–no–two days! Yeah, that’s it. They’ll understand. They always have before. You are tortured because they are pulled this way and that and they are never ever happy in one of those spots yet they can’t give it up the hope that one day they could be carefree. it’ll never happen.
It is not true that addicts are out having fun without a care in the world. What is true that addicts cause their own pain, but never doubt that they feel pain over what they’re doing to themselves and their families.Caroleena, June 27, 2022
Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly everyone stops dreaming. Not only are you no longer invited, you’re not even informed about a family function like a parent’s funeral. No one believes you care. They are wrong–you care. No one believes you’ll show. They are right–you won’t. You will feel terrible, the guilt will morph into anguish, but you won’t be able to show. There’s one more deterrent. In addition to logistical impediments, the shame of having people see you, when your failures are public, it is too much to bear. It is just like Bob Dylan wrote, you’re invisible now, you’ve got no secrets to conceal. How does it feel to be on your own with no direction home, a complete unknown, Like a Rolling Stone. How does it feel, suicidal shame? Like Murderous anguish–that’s how it feels.
But in recovery you can dream. You might one day have the money to take a luxury hotel in the sky that’s a futuristic Cruise/flight/Fantasy Island getaway. Accompanied too! It could happen, for those not chasing the next piece of (insert addiction here) And the only thing stopping you is what stops Ordinary People. And that’s vacation time.:-) Lol.