Addiction and Prostitution Analytical Thinking anthropology Denial Purpose superiority complex The Message

Intelligent, Ironic: Not Words Usually Associated with Writings About Subculture

I Probably Would Not Read My Blog if I Were You

I would have notions about poor quality writing , heavy handed off color references, or obsession e people ad dictating approval for unpopular activities by using repetition as a strategy I would not be interested in the same tired ideas, like “let people do what they want” or “repent if you want to go to Heaven.” Most importantly I would expect blogs on this subject t to be poorly written in every way, from bad grammar to weak arguments. And I would never expect anything funny, if you like sarcastic humor.

I am Grateful For You

You have given my words more of a chance than I would have. Before the trouble began I was so caught up in bei g better than everyone e else according to any metric that I would not have deigned to read something g by a self confessed pariah. I would have missed out. As you have seen, for the past three years I have taken one if the world’s oldest topics/taboos and given it a new spin through cringing honesty. My earth shattering Conclusion:

Something might seem as simple as right or wrong, but it is a mix. The exception is actually secretly widespread. The truth is more people are engaged in more “rare” activities than imagined and more people struggle with exceptional problems than anyone knew. When you read about the outcasts, you are often reading about yourself or your neighbor. Don’t worry. No one will know you are a reader. And that’s ok.

Thank you for your open-mindedness. I broke shame’s hold on me by doing what I would have judged unfavorably before. I know now that my worth us not what I do or what I am seen doing. Intrinsic value exists within a of us independent of deeds and misdeeds. That does not mean NY face did nit burn with shame when I have had to explain my writing. I mean, I pushed past it. Funny thing, if you are ok with something often your readers will follow suit.

Addiction and Prostitution Denial downtown Honolulu Life Hacks Lifestyle Live Video

Video: Streetwise Life Hack #22: Life is a Good News Bad News Story

Life us a good news/bad news story. The good news: you can get used to anything. The bad news? You guessed it. You can get used to anything. A central theme in stories of addiction is how a person grudgingly reduces the number of things they never intend to do. “Absolutely never” becomes “well, maybe.”


Addiction is comprised of ia predictable sequence of events. You feel terrible about the standard you have disregard, but, there was nothing to be done about the exigent circumstances. “Whatever it takes” to get more dope is no longer an unimaginable hypothetical but part of your world. It’s nit like you are going to do this forever. Only temporary , you tell yourself. This thing you have to do is not who you are, just something you did. On a limited basis. You refuse to redefine yourself based on a temporary deviation from your norm . For example, You’re not a prostitute. You did engage in prostitution out of necessity but you did not mean it. You’re not like one if those people on street corners. Ok, you admit that an observer would not know the difference between you and the prostitutes near you. But you viewed to never forget who you really were.


You maintain your self image as “not like the rest of them,” but this understanding does not repeat in your mind like a mantra that you needed to continuously recite to help you do the deed. Before too long you find that you have gotten used to the once unimaginable. Mantras are not necessary. You expect men to see you and want you and do something in order to spend a bit of time with you. You never think about the specifics of the deed. Aside from those unmentionable unpleasant specifics, you start enjoying yourself! The easy, tax free money. The adventure of never knowing where you’re going to be from one hour to the next. Seeing the whole island of Oahu when dates take you back to their place. Your 100% success rate when it came to getting a date. When you walked to Kukui Street in downtown Honolulu you only waited minutes or even seconds, for a car to pull over. You even get used to blocking out what you’re doing while you’re doing it by what you call “going away inside my head.”


The unthinkable has been reframed. Now you call it Tuesday. Or Wednesday. Whatever day. Every day. And through it all, you still believe you’re nit like the rest of them. Without repression and denial no one would be able to get an addiction off the ground!

Categories #LinkstoMyBlog Addiction and Prostitution Alienation Comfort Zone coping skills Fear of Rejection Honolulu Insecurity Recovery Rejection Social Anxiety Street life

The Fear of Rejection Is a Motivating Factor for both sex worker and client. (Inspiration Post: Fear of Rejection: 3 Simple Tips to Overcome)

Categories #LinkstoMyBlog Addiction and Prostitution anthropology Comfort Zone coping skills Fear of Rejection Insecurity Rejection relationships Social Anxiety Street life

The Fear of Rejection Is a Motivating Factor for both sex worker and client. (Inspiration Post: Fear of Rejection: 3 Simple Tips to Overcome) Thus is the link to the above entitled post by a fellow wordpress blogger that inspired this author.

Sex, Drugs, Money

Men want sex and they are willing to pay women on the street a small amount of money so the women can get drugs. That’s the underlying structure if street prostitution. We know there are other forms of sex work that involve higher compensation for women and the women have to give more than a quick 10 minutes on a side street in the date’s car.. Women have to so
spend time, provide scintillating conversation and listen to the date’s stories.

Not Just Sex and Drugs

Addiction pushes people to do things that they might nit have been completely opposed ti, but never saw themselves doing. In theory a woman may believe prostitution is a personal choice but there’s no way in God’s green earth she would ever make that choice. After addiction takes hold and the brain and body shout “Need drugs, need drugs!” a woman finds herself doing what was since unimaginable. Not only is she doubt it, but it becomes routine, ho hum. She’ll see a car up over on her side if the street 10 feet in front if where she is standing on the sidewalk, and she will have the near by drug dealer on her mind. She will say to herself “I will just do this date real quick and get something frim the guy before he leaves.” She dies not lime the work nor does she anticipate the task in advance. She focusses on the reward and that s a fantasy she will happily replay in her mind after she gets out of the car, task complete. Very few things in life, while using or sober, provide the elation she feels as she race walks to the dope man, clutching three twenty dollar bills. Three hard earned twenties that will be gone in an hour. It is common for people to get addicted to the drug and addicted to the rush of anticipation. Since dugs are inexplicably bound in that streetlife ritual, one would assume if the woman had dope or got clean she would not engage in prostitution. You would be wrong.

Conversation is a Mutual Reward

People seldom act out of one simple motive. There are the obvious goals in street life.

Men: prostitution=Sex

Women: prostitution=drugs

Logically the two people never need to speak to each other. Politeness would not matter Neither hooker or trick would contemplate if they like the other person in the temporary contract. Yet, they do like or dislike the other person. They look forward to seeing them again or the join up grudgingly when there are no other options on the street. They both appreciate the diminished risk of rejection BC they both know their personalities are of secondary importance

Sobriety Challenge

Sobriety is all about retraining your brain. Presenting yourself as what you are not what you offer to do is one of the most frightening adjustments. People who never realized prostitution created a social safety zone are astonished to find themselves missing it when they are no longer pursuing (or being pursued by) an addiction. Recovery is difficult when a person is unaware of the many payoffs of using.

Social anxiety (or terror) for some, is so crippling people with addictions often fear that getting clean will mean a life of isolation BC who would want them if they no longer show up with goods or services?


Ironically, rich people have the same concern about people wanting to use them. Who would believe people in the highest and lowest social castes would have something so deep in common?

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Honolulu has many judgemental drug dealers

Categories Addiction Addiction and Prostitution Denial Double Standards Honolulu Liars Motivations for Behavior Recovery StreetLife

Honolulu has many judgemental drug dealers

The Fun of Condemning Others

I have noticed that when people engage in behavior that’s not socially acceptable, they readily point out others who are, in their opinion, “worse.” They concede that their actions are not ok, but their behavior is not as bad as it could be. In truth, the very thing they say they do not do, is actually a description of their actions. For example:

  1. People who shoplift, or “boost” say, ” I don’t steal from people. Only stores.
  2. People who sell drugs that they have dabbled with (true dealers do not use the product) mention that they are not hypocrites who sell people what they won’t do themselves. “I only sell what I do. I don’t give anyone anything I wouldn’t do myself.”
  3. People engaged in prostitution say, “I never go after anyone’s man. The only guys I date are guys I don’t know. These are tricks not boyfriends.”
  4. Married women engaged in prostitution say they are not committing adultery BC they have sex for money not for love or pleasure. Business deals do not count as cheating.
  5. Women who use men for money by wheedling, manipulating or otherwise conning guys would never make an upfront deal to exchange sex fir drugs. They say, “it’s not like I prostituted. I have friends who give me money to help me out. I have a lot of friends.”
  6. People I have known who’ve sold street drugs usually focus on selling one type of drug. A person who sold ice seldom sold crack also. It was quite common for dealers to look down on people who sell other drugs that they deem as mire destructive. Dealers also look down at their customers. To dealers, society’s problem was the drug addict. If you ever want to insult a dealer, ask him if he is an addict. Not him, no way.
  7. If you think addicts, society’s outcasts, don’t have anyone to put down you’d be wrong. Those who inject drugs scoff at those who smoke them: “that’s nothing nothing but a waste” bc the effects, though quicker, are weaker and do not not last as long. People who smoke drugs regard using needles as the ultimate low. The main drugs of choice in Honolulu, crack cocaine, crystal methamphetamine, or ice, and heroin or “boy,” can all be smoked and/or injected. Theoretically people have the option of mixing up the way they do their drugs but they never do.

You get the idea. It is difficult for people to disregard society’s rules. People need to tell themselves they are not so bad, in fact, they are misunderstood. Certainly the person who gets caught boosting is bothered by the thief label BC they do not steal from friends. What makes a person a thief is nit who they take from but that they take things at all. If what you do is unacceptable, you can change what you do or change what you think of what you do. If you have to lie to yourself to get through the day, you’ll do it. That’s why recovery demands rigorous honesty BC to live with yourself as an addict means first and foremost lying to yourself.

The next time you compare yourself to someone else, and wonder how that person could sink is low, ask yourself if you have more in common with the object of your scorn than you’ve been willing to admit. The harsh truth might surprise you if you are willing to be honest with yourself.

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A Hooker’s Client Explains Why She Should Not Text Him-It’s not the wife – Home Page: Everything Red Light Hawaii2000

#LinkstoMyBlog Escort Answers Insecurity Sexual Standards Street life

Audio: “Sex Standards,” as Read by the Author

Adult web site communication

Is a Site Advertising Free Sex Or Escorts? One Word Identifies the Purpose

If you’re on a site that’s offering you companionship, how do you k ow if you are being hooked up with people who expect you to pay upfront to walk through your door, or to allow you to walk through their door? One word tells you everything you need to know. The word?


Casual dating means that price do not expect to receive money. Nor do people expect to pay for anyone’s time. In fact, when you see the word casual you are likely dealing with people who will be highly offended if they are asked for money. They might even get angry and threaten an innocent person making a simple inquiry with bodily harm. So I have been told.

That’s not to say that these people won’t demand sex. They very well might. And when they do, they expect total strangers to do their bidding, for absolutely nothing. I’m not just talking about money. I am talking about conversation, politeness, interest, the intangibles besides money that people trade for sex. These people offer nothing, want what they want, and they are out of there once they get it. Evidently, there are people who go along with this arrangement to make it worthwhile to set up a site. The rules are not really clear. Casual relationships baffle me. Maybe that’s why I turned to escorting. The unnatural transactional relationship requires people to state upfront what’s wanted. No nuance, no cues, no indecipheribles that bewilder someone like me who does not get social repartee. If you’re like me and you want to know what’s what in a way ordinary people never tell you, avoid “casual” at all costs.à

Categories #LinkstoMyBlog Alienation Insecurity

I felt acne ruined me. Now…See Link to The Guardian

I understood this article , although my difficulties were reversed. The author had extreme acne and (apparently) parental support. I suppose I had moderate acne but no social support. The people who adopted me lived that the beauty people remarked about when I was a child, was marred.

The acne messages were repeated often and loudly:

  • She USED to be cute.
  • What happened to your face? [smirk]
  • Look how ugly you are! [while thrusting a mirror under my nose]
  • My lasting nickname made use of the fact that dark skin forms even darker marks when it is injured and also while healing. The marks can last for months. Hence, I became “spotty faced leopard.” Now that I think about it, the delight the the people who adopted me had in my misfortune was the greatest factor in them becoming “the people who adopted me” instead of parents. I held out hope that there was some other family for me (yes and no) I was so grateful not to be of their bloodline. The search for my birth mother gave me purpose I might not have had and I was spurred by the void left when I finalized the rejection others began. I was a de facto orphan on a mission. More on that later.
  • I am one of the minority of people who never enjoyed clear skin, not even now. I have never thought of acne as benefitting my character at all. Today, I learned something new. This linked article explained the Japanese concept that when something is broken, and repaired but still scarred, those scars make the thing all the more useful. The idea is meant to be applied literally, to damaged pottery, and figuratively, to damaged lives.
  • Epiphany

    The whole purpose of my site, the reason why I don’t wear a Harvard ring and shut up about the homelessness and addiction and sex work is that those things have left visible scars. The scars cause people to ask questions like I heard last week: what’s wrong with you? Why aren’t you married and successful and in a big house?

    My Life Scars

    The scars of my life show, clearly. My continuous mission is to find the beauty in the scars, to see my life as something other than a story of what might have been. I have been criticized for not giving people THE ANSWER to addiction and other woes. I don’t have it. I can only share my experiences and instead of doing my usual and providing the interpretation, I let the reader figure out how to use my life to help himself.

    Of all the words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these: it might have been. –Shakespeare

    If no, when I write well, my issues will be my good fortune and not just challenges to overcome. I will one day say, I am glad it worked out this way. And I will mean it about the acne too. Not there yet. But after this article, I see the path.

    Attention seeking Insecurity

    It’s a bit disheartening when your best features aren’t yours

    Sexy pix: Give me make up, a wig and a boob job and people are so full of admiration for everything that’s not of me. Oh well. Pretending is better than nothing!

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    A sex worker’s client emailed her for advice about contributing to Hookr Yelp during Covid

    August 08, 2020

    An associate of mine is contributing to the blog by sharing an anonymous email she received August 2020. In the study of history this email would be known as a primary document. You are not reading stuff written by people who study history. I’m giving you true history. Note the indicators of this point in time such as the use of dating sites, COVID, the option to leave an online review


    Yesterday I had a session with a lady I’ve never met before. Her ad does not show her face and it seems like the pictures of her body were taken 10 years ago when she was much thinner. I met her at her place which was on a third floor apartment in a condominium. In order to meet her, I had to drive to a fish restaurant in [*** *******] and then call her whereupon she gave me directions to her location. When I finally got there all she wanted to do is talk. Apparently she researched me because when I called her, I guess my name appears on her caller ID. That spooked me because I don’t really like the idea of someone knowing my real name. Do you know my real name? Maybe I should get a separate phone under a fake name.
    Unfortunately, she was not a sexy person in my opinion. She was a bit overweight and was not a very playful type of person. My *** did not jump to attention at the thought of having sex with her She did let me take a shower and was lying naked on the bed when I finished. Although I did [****deleted due to graphic nature of the sentence***] she had eschewed kissing during the COVID-19 pandemic. All-in-all I did not really enjoy my session all that much and will not go back to see her again.
    At this point I am pondering what I should do? Should I post a negative review of her on [***] (its back up and running again). Should I write her a thank you note and tell here how I actually feel? Or, should I just move on and not do anything?

    Given the options he presented, what should he do? What would you do? Something he never considered?

    Thank you for spending part of your life here with me. I am honored and humbled by this generosity with your time!🌺🇺🇸


    Modern grief —Compulsive Internet Searches After the Death of a Loved One

    Stages of Grief

    According to the work of a scholar who studied loss there are five stages of grief that take us from immobilized devastation to, ultimately acceptance. The theory focuses on our internal states, like denial, or bargaining. I propose adding a modern action to the grief process: Compulsive Internet Searching

    Yes, Internet Searching➡️Grief Process

    After I found my friend (I don’t know what to call the relationship) dead in my kitchen, I developed a habit. I searched for his name online. I tried different search engines, no middle name, with an address, without an address, phone number, email addresses. I looked for every scrap of info I could find. I even joined one of those background checking sites for $25. I learned some new things, minor stuff like in the past he might have wanted to act. But eventually there was nothing new to add to his bio so I was simply reading, re-reading the same facts. Weeks, months of this until I gradually stopped. I never mentioned it.

    Recently I picked up a book. One of the characters had not spoken to her sister in 18 years and she did the same compulsive internet searching, including the review of unchanging information. I thought, “I bet this is a thing.”

    I’ve Been Asked To Give Wisdom

    The irony of anyone looking to me for insight is obvious, although I have been through some things that could provide info. Therefore, from the depth of my experience with my own grief, a fiction novel, and a powerful hunch, I say if you find yourself stuck on OCD internet searches, that’s part of the process. The habit will naturally taper off. I speculate that we need to exert some kind of control when we are most powerless and the searching allows us to do something. It is ok to go through your process.

    What Helped Me

    about obsession? Let the phone keep track of your screen time. How much of your day are you searching for his name in the year 2002, when he lived in Kansas? Are you searching for her name and her rabbit’s name to see if there are Facebook posts you haven’t seen? I have been there: “Caroleena, ,Sniffie, 🐇Topeka.” I might have searched these terms a whole lot. I understand if you’re doing something similar. Gone overboard? Seek counseling and give details about your specific practices to get informed advice.

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    Part II: Why my ban from Honolulu forum of an adult services site as a problematic provider was correct

    Throwback from one of the most successful posts ever which happened to appear in the most successful month of all, November 2018. Follow the above link to see content posted before we met.

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    “Additions to” on Pinterest is what you type in search box to access 97 short stories and sexy pix, no ads! Here’s an example

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    Many guys are silently heartbroken after a Hooker’s betrayal but there is one weird reason it is not their fault

    Guys, were you ever hurt when a hooker you had grown attached to turned on you? There is one reason you may be 100% blameless

    There is a lot of stealing in Hawaii. Shoplifters are “boosters” who “go to work” in stores, “boosting.” Some women accompanied men to “burg” houses, or burglarize homes. Interestingly, they don’t call themselves burglars. Women “bang” cars, but the word banger is not In use. The title booster is as close as these people come to admitting they steal but they are like liars who take offense at being called a liar. They steal, but “not from people, only from stores.” Because they have to.

    Let me be clear about my addiction theory. Yes addiction distorts thought construction to cause people to make decisions out of earnestly held faulty beliefs. (Like the person suffering from schizophrenia who pulls out the tooth he believes the dentist used to implant a camera that is recording his thoughts). I have yet to met an addict who was pleased to be compared to people with that mental illness bc the stigma is so strong, but I stand by my Impaired Thought Construction Theory. Thieves know what they are doing is wrong or would be considered wrong by people who do not understand that the rules do not apply to them. It is vitally important that they see themselves as true friends and honorable people. They are not what they do, in their self-evaluation.

    There is one reason you make enemies and you are 100% blameless.

    We are taught that we are responsible for how people treat us. Mostly, but not always. Thieves lie to themselves about not stealing from “people” especially friends. In truth thieves steal from anyone. In order to remain good people after they betray a friend the only thing to be done is transform the betrayal into a well deserved lesson or punishment. The other person had it coming. He should be grateful that’s all I took!

    I would never betray a friend but f*** that person. That’s no friend!

    Typical addict impaired thinking that preserves a self image that is incongruent with actions. The addicts solution to cognitive dissonance is to other people’s lives discordant!

    Guys, if you’ve ever wondered why a working girl you were really good to and actually came to like, stole from you and totally turned on you, that’s why. I know you tell yourself you should not even care. She is nobody! But you can’t help but be, secretly, really hurt. You tried not to think of her as a friend, tried to tell yourself it was not her you were looking forward to seeing, but the adventure. But you knew the truth about the bond forming. Or so you thought bc you’re devastated when she robs you or sets you up to be jumped. Do not personalize. If you’re dealing with a working girl she is likely on drugs (but not always!). If she turns on you out of the blue she might be mentally preparing herself to steal from you. It is a good idea to not let on that you are leaving her presence with money in your pocket. Temptation could creep in. Now, it is always possible that she is not addicted to drugs or addicted to theft (yes, that’s a thing) and she is actually in a different desperate situation. In this case, it could be kind of cruel to let her see you have more money but you’re not giving it to her.

    For the most part when a thief steals from you she really believe you brought it on yourself. Do not try to reason with her if you catch her. If she is caught and not sorry, she will go on the offensive with face -saving anger. And do not listen to her attacks on your character. Yes, she will use the apparent truth to justify herself. But I read in a book that if something is not spoken in love it is not really true. Personally I believe in second chances if the person makes up for her mistake in a measurable way. Perfection is an unrealistic expectation.. However, without a tangible amends, taking the person back is like saying you don’t mind.

    “Rip Off Reports” are supposed to help guys protect each other but they are used as weapons to lie about providers guys want to damage. That totally sucks!–That’s the caption I used months ago when dealing with the reverse issue of guys turning on providers by calling them thieves on online adult sites.

    You are an innocent victim only if you’re truly innocent. This advice applies to the truly blameless who are worth more as targets than companions.


    The Fact That I Only Lost One Tooth Showed That As An Addict

    I got lucky enough to apply my obsessive compulsive tendencies to oral hygiene even when I was homeless. I dodged meth mouth, the scoyrge of Hawaii ice addicts who faced a double whammy. There was the tooth depleting crystal meth addiction. And, welfare dental insurance and prison dentists only supported yanking, not saving, teeth. I will admit that I looked for ways to feel superior any way I could. In Hawaii many adults are entirely toothless by 30 and one hardly ever sees an adult with a full set of teeth. Dentures and tooth replacement remedies are not covered by welfare insurance so people have pumas (holes) in their smiles but no one stands out so there’s no shame in it. I never imagined losing any teeth. That changed to gloating inwardly about only losing one tooth. Well, one and a half. But the “half” is another story.

    Denial Mental Illness

    Sex with Strangers–what mental state do you need?

    My life’s difficulties would have annihilated many. My birth parents met in a mental hospital where they were both patients. My father was there for shooting his ex-girlfriend, but only in the arm,” according to my birth mother. My mother was there, she said, because she didn’t need to prove she was crazy to anyone. My birth mother was white and so wad the couple who had planned to adopt me before my birth. My mother, for whatever reason, did not tell them that my father might have been black. We didn’t have DNA testing in the 1970’s but one look at me on my birthday convinced the white couple that I was half black and simply would not do. Eventually I wad sent to live with a black family who had been influenced by society’s view of unwanted black children and I was regarded as a consolation prize not nearly as great as what you get when you win. Like going on a gane show and the winner gets the trip to Hawaii and the loser gets the toaster. I was the toaster. But I was sure when I reconnected with the foster parents of my early childhood my status as Harvard student would cause them to regret their earlier decision to send me away and I would be taken into the family forever. However, my relentless anger, endlessly expressed” caused them to cut all ties once I graduated and could be considered self sufficient and not in need if a place to go during school vacations. Through it all, when things were particularly hard, I actively applied disassociation and dropped out of the scene. My other side could handle things bc she could withstand all manner of insult and rejection. I think repression and denial are underrated. These coping skills allow you to live through painful events without ever fully experiencing them. How else can you have sex with strangers for dope? Maybe if I had been sane I never would have gone down that path. But if I lacked sanity better to put insanity to work for me.

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    White People Aren’t Showing Exceptional Racism but The Human Norm For Dealing w/ Tragedy BC Us vs Them is How all Humans Role and Bible shows it

    The ‘us and them’ pandemic shows America is still impervious to black pain

    “Blacks are Dying from Corona Virus and Whites Don’t Care”

    If this was a headline it would be overly simplistic due to the all or nothing reasoning. The statement is too black and white (pun intended lol) to be totally accurate but it’s pretty close. The article I linked you to did tell me something I hadn’t considered; people began protesting the stay at home orders when the stats about race and the virus became widespread news. Pkus, the protesters are white and we’ll off. I didn’t know that. I also didn’t know there’s a new code word for black, like “urban” or “at-risk” or “inner city.” Whites talk about “demographics.” As in, “you look at the ‘demographics’ and you feel there’s nothing to worry about,” say whites in the article. And they say it with a shrug and a smirk. I imagine white people thinking: “Oh well. Sucks to be them. Anyway…” I felt angry until I realized an essential truth: the reaction is not a white reaction but a human one.

    It is my firm belief that if white people are indifferent to black pain, as the writer posits, it is not necessarily a reflwction of extraordinarily bad race relations. Nor is said indifference proof that whites are particularly hard hearted. We are witnessing an altogether ordinary, not extraordinary way humans deal with threats to life and limb. What do survivors of tragedies always, not sometimes, but always say? They never thought it could happen to them. Other people, sure. Something you read about in the paper…but me? Us? Here? No way. The only way we can get through lives of powerlessness is to cling to the illusion of imperviousness. I wrote a post about surviving the jungles of Vietnam. Vets that made it back knew they could’ve been killed but believed they never would get shot. What else can you do so you don’t do stark raving mad.

    If You Believe the Bible You Accept That Delight Bc Tragedy Happens to Others is to be celebrated🎁

    One way of looking at the celebration of Passover is that it is Schadenfreude. The Jews enslaved in Egypt celebrated when the Angel of Death passed over their homes, with the doorframes anointed with the blood of the lamb, and took the first born sons from Egyptian families. That’s codified schadenfreude, or delight in another’s misfortune. Maybe the emphasis of the celebration is not happiness that others are suffering but happiness that we are not. It’s splitting hairs. For thousands of years we have understood that it’s human nature to turn a blind eye to the problems of others, especially when we escaped a similar fate.

    Any scrap of evidence is used to support the confirmation bias we all have as humans that horrible things we are powerless to prevent, Sony happen to us. This innate confirmation bias is why whites are relieved to write off corona virus as a black thing. That’s a normal human reaction. There’s always some guilt when you discover that, for example, the firetrucks were rushing to a house near yours but not yours. We feel guilty we aren’t noble enough to wish upon ourselves a fair portion of suffering. We simply are not noble. Was it Paul who wrote “in this flesh dwells no good thing”?

    If corona virus were seen as a white thing, you’d be hardpressed to find many in the black community sympathetic to the White man’s pain. The difference would be we wouldn’t feel any guilt for not clamoring on behalf of whites bc whites have everything they need and don’t need our community concern.

    Maybe I sound like I don’t think much of humanity. One thing I don’t appear to be in this post, is wrong. Do thesr words ring true to anyone else?

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    In these days of online reviews, having an online presence that’s not video based was challenging for someone who relied on her looks.
    Denial Embarrassing secrets Secret sex

    What a woman learned from the gay man in her life

    The tool I used to bond with my bisexual significant other was the Craigslist Classified ads section. Even before I started this blog I interviewed people who had experiences I hadn’t, and my friend Ken was a great source of info on the closeted gay male lifestyle. Remember, Ken was first introduced to me by another working girl bc she wanted me to think she was my friend and not see the truth. Which was..? When we were both in jail, OCCC (Called O Triple C for Oahu Community Correctional Center), I wrote grievances for the women. She carried one of the grievances I wrote on her behalf all the way to a $20,000 medical malpractice settlement. I never asked anyone for money, so the fact that she spent it all without sharing didn’t violate a pre-existing agreement. I didn’t know. It’s not like she was going to tell me. But she worried I’d react like she would have if the roles were reversed. To head off the revenge she thought I’d pursue she gave me a client who just wanted to watch fashion shows on YouTube (for real, w/ regularly clothes models.) An easy couple hundred bucks. Ken was surprised that unlike everyone else in the underworld, I didn’t steal from him and I was a great conversationalist. I was just as surprised to find he shared those qualities. We started talking, bonding. He had expressed his interest, not in men-he said, but jus one part of the guy. No Relationships, no attachments. Where did he find candidates? The aforementioned ads were full of straight guys seeking other straight guys who would engage in sexual encounters with them, after which they would both still be straight and return to their women. Women who never, ever imagined and who would never hear a confession. To my shock there were rows and rows of ads like this. I never had a reason to look at m4m ads before. There was a world of sexual activity that at times involved people I thought I knew. How many men were on the down low and proving Ben Franklin wrong about the impossibility of living people keeping a secret. When it came to men with other men, that’s a secret very many if them take to the grave.

    No, All men aren’t gay

    That was an oversimplified conclusion drawn by a simple mind prone to stereotyping to make sense of the world. I was so surprised bc I would have thought such secret sex goings-on were rare, verging on never. But common? I was blown away. I decided to investigate in a more direct way. More on that Adventure coming up!


    If Prostitution is really so terrible, why is the following statement an insult?

    Taboos are Publicly Avoided

    If I say to a person, you don’t look like someone who would start fires. Or–you don’t look like someone who would commit murder, well, it would be odd because that is not the sort of thing one normally says. But I would not give offense. It’s good not to look the type. For people who really commit those crimes, looking like that type of criminal is, I imagine, an impediment to getting anything done.

    The Confusing Double Standard

    If I say to a person, you don’t like someone anyone would pay to have sex with…Now that statement could very well be an insult. Depending on the context it could be a tossed off joking remark, or words that cut to the bone. The crux of the matter is women want to look like Demi Moore in Indecent Proposal, the movie that has actor Robert Redford playing a multi-millionaire who can easily afford to offer Moore’s character, or really, the husband, $1 million for one night with her, details withheld but we can all assume what he is paying for, and indeed he did pay for sex.

    Who among us wouldn’t want that opportunity (yes, I said opportunity) to come along? Even if we weren’t having financial difficulties like the couple in the movie. But keeping everything in the realm of the hypothetical, we would want people to look at us and think “$1 million for a night with her? Yes, I can imagine someone with the means paying that price. Look at her!” Or maybe it’s just me being shallow. Speaking for myself, I would love to be considered that beautiful, that pure of a sex object, under the right and limited circumstances. I admit–I want to be beautiful and regarded as such! You got me! One or two of you can silently relate, I know it.

    One of the very many points the movie makes is that everyone is likely to have a sex-with-a-stranger price. For enough money, a woman would be stupid not to–after that certain price is reached. I once heard a comedian sum up the prostitution issue with this pithy statement: “give up the p***y, make the money.” So prostitution is not an absolute taboo, nor is it an almost absolute taboo, like murder. It’s, well, negotiable. And I am talking straight transactional prostitution, not reinterpreting marriage as a form of prostitution, but the kind of interaction that is more frowned upon than any other non-violent crime, imho. In certain situations, if it comes down to it, prostitution itself is a no brainer–of course you would, I would. Secretly, privately. But always, always, in public, we want to look like women who are desired so intensely that men would pay a great deal of money for a night with us!