Image from Photo Lab app

Created with Photo Lab app #photolab

I am trying to combine the cartoonized (my word) image with the link. You’d be amazed at the records that come up if you just look for the images associated with this site.

“Harvard”Hooker? At the 25th annual reunion?

25th College Alumni Reunion
HARVARD HOOKER IN HONOLULU

Harvard Hooker? This title will simply not do for the reunion. The reunion isn’t tomorrow but it is within the decade. I have got to get it together so I can feel confident enough to attend the reunion. I know happiness would override all concerns about professional and economic success. But with the death of my significant other, I can’t get happy. Yes, I know he would’ve been waaay over me if it had been me and not him, dead on my kitchen floor the Sunday before the Patriot’s come from behind Super Bowl victory in 2017. But I am not reassured by reminding myself of my one sided love for my mostly gay former trick. I’ve got to turn to the things shallow people use to try yo make themselves whole, success, wealth, fame. I need to get some success, wealth, fame. I don’t want to name drop my college bc I am pretty positive the university would not drop my name, at this point in time. What to do, what to do? A lot of people who went down the path of addiction instead of success feel ashamed to let classmates know what became of them. On top of general embarrassment I feel like I ammunition for people who say affirmative action doesn’t work. Yes, I graduated Magna cum Laude so I did what I was supposed to whole in school but then, after graduation, I failed myself and my people and I want to make it right. Hey if I can’t reach social acceptability I will settle for wealth. I am going to pursue my Hooker Life from the world’s oldest Profession.

Will Gay Marriage Start A Trend That Influences Prostitution?

At First Gay Marriage Seemed Odd

I acknowledge that it took awhile to get used to same sex marriage. But TV had helped me. On talk shows, we meet women’s wives, and introductions are made without missing a beat. Comedies and dramas show men with husbands and it’s no big deal, like a detail that is incidental to the story. Before, such a storyline would never see the light of day. Then, the same sex marriage was central to the show or those characters on the show. Remember Friends? Ross had an ex wife who married a woman and it was big trips. But today, it’s almost natural to see same sex marriage.

If Committed Relationships Can be Flexible…

We can no longer assume that a spouse is necessarily the opposite sex. The word “spouse” has become gender neutral in a whole new way. In sex work, yes there’s a thriving male homosexual scene. And often these men are dressed as women but it’s still male homosexual nevertheless But when it comes to women’s involvement, that’s always been heterosexual, as far as I knew. When someone contacted me via message I always assumed the person was male. I was always correct. And now? Are women looking to female sex workers for service? Would “trick” or “client” become as gender neutral as “spouse”? Just a thought. If it happens you’ll know you read it here first.

Tricks get angry if you don’t like their anger

“You’re not very trusting,” sneered a guy with whom I had tried to be surface friends. It didn’t work.

Isn’t it ironic that people are mad bc you don’t trust them, yet have no interest in asking why that is?

Everyone wants the reward with none of the work. Trust me, even if I’m not trustworthy. Funny, you’d think a trick would assume lack of trust.

Hooker Life Hack #62–If men want new p****, why not let them?

Instead of demanding fidelity, what if you sanctioned the cheating? Let him go off, as long as he came back. It wouldn’t be cheating if it wasn’t breaking the rules. Make your own rules for your marriage. Is it realistic to imagine a man, much less all men, capable of sexual monogamy? Do you think men are less likely to stray if it’s not forbidden fruit? If he is llowed the new he desires, he might esire it so much.

If women turned a blind eye to their men’s extracurricular activities, it is entirely possible that he won’t seek out intramural sports. He might just stay home more if he knows he does not have to stay put. People can be so very contrary. Why fight the contrary nature of man? Might be worth a try in a situation where a man is a chronic cheater and a woman has no peace because of it. Just let him cheat. And let him come home. And he might find that there is no woman like you. And you might just secure your position. After all else fails and he keeps looking outside of the relationship for sex but keeps coming back, this plan could be the unexpected answer. Opinions?

HOW ADDICTION EASES LONELINESS

Pursuing Your Addiction is a Surefire Way to Meet People

I thought I was lonely and friendless bc of some internal flaw. Maybe. But maybe not. My research shows that in today’s world we spend our time in meaningless sub-social (my word) interactions mediated by a screen. Texting instead of calling. Facebooking people we will never see again or never meet in the first place, instead of putting in face to face time with a reach-out-and-touch human. Time wasted in meaningless chatter bc our souls feel lonely without constant contact with someone or someones. You can have a close relationship if you talk on the phone, and don’t see the person, but that is the maximum distance between two people if they are to be considered in a relationship. Take the voice out of an interaction that is not face to face and what we have is a bunch of pen pals.

Addiction’s Plus Side
If you want to get high you have to interact with people. If you are not independently wealthy you will need a hustle. Theft. Prostitution. Drug dealing. There are sub categories. You could be a shoplifter (colloquially called “booster”). Or an identity thief. Under prostitution you could work the streets or make it your mission to be the dealer’s girlfriend. Drug dealing could be as big time as you see in the movies or as small time as running the $10 baggie to the new customer so if it’s really an undercover cop the low level person will catch the 10 year case for actually handing the stuff to the officer.

Once your financing is in order, you either have to go to the dealer or find the person who knows the person. From what I have seen from my personal level heroin use in Hawaii, the bigger the dealer, the less likely he is to use the drug himself (though he might pull temporary sex partners from the drug using population.) All the books on making friends suggest shared hobbies as a springboard into relationships. Up the ante to shared obsession, and you’ve got instant companionship and association. Not friendship, of course, bc addiction brings out the cold hearted snake within the soul of every human. That primal, limbic brain is activated and addicts will do whatever is necessary, making it is best not to let the necessary occur.

But hey, we’ve got each other–ain’t we got fun? This fun is something I seldom hear spoken about when there’s talk about sobriety. What will I do with my time if I’m sober and who will I do it with. If people can’t get drugs or sex out of me, will anyone want me at all? Will I want anyone if interactions aren’t about using others? I get using and being used. That’s safe as a known phenomenon. Relationships based on…whatever they’re based on between people who love each other, I’ve never had that and wouldn’t know how to begin. I’m lonely and don’t know how to fix it bc my caustic wit isn’t reeling ’em in. I don’t know how to conclude this piece. I’ll just stop writing now

X-Hooker Life Hack #73

The best time to look honest is when you are lying.

 

X-Hooker Life Hacks–the world’s newest wisdom from the world’s oldest profession

What if Racists in The Media Weren’t Fired?

Someone called the new baby prince a chimp or chimp-like or whatever. He has African ancestry, but you’d never know by looking. That’s a different conversation. Look, we know the racism is inevitable. The question wasn’t, if something would be said, but–what, when, and by whom? Feigned shock is so played. I have a new response. Don’t fire public figures, that’s been done to death. Keep offenders in place, and let us point and stare, en masse. Public shame is one of the best tools of social control. Want to change things? Make it impossible for offenders to hang their heads or hide their faces. People would watch their mouths if their words hung in the air around them–Figuratively speaking, or even literally. With the skillful application of special effects, viewers could see the offensive language swirling around the person.  Let’s have some fun. We know what’s coming. Let’s prepare a unique response. Anyone with me?  Utterances stay with me, and society, as memories, after the noise transitions from sound to thought life. I’d like to give as good as I get. Let them know how it feels to be trapped with those words. Can there be empathy without revenge?

It wasn’t xxx, or porn but an old trick put on a public show

Whenever I have seen guys in a pro context, the meetings and departures are tricky. They don’t want to be seen with me, don’t want exposure. They want to keep their dalliances secret. In 20 years  of  “dating”  no one has ever made a public scene. They enter and exit on tiptoes, speak in whispers. No one has ever publicly linked himself to me in close physical proximity to his work. The code of secret silence was broken yesterday, when a trick from years ago came up to me as I sat with others in a public mall. I like to go downtown when I am lonely. No homeless person objects when I sit with them, as I did yesterday. The red light and homeless districts are adjacent to the business district. I often have a legit reason to enter the area, but I linger bc I want to do so. There I was when an irate trick decided I had no right to deny him explanations for the opinions I have voiced in this blog. He had been unable to force me to answer his questions about why I wrote some posts last year that detailed his use of several screen names, one that hated me in my provider role, the other persona liked me as a provider and have me two thumbs up. Like a one man Siskel and Ebert. Evidently, the disgruntled internet troll had forgotten his claim that he had never posted about me–ever. He demanded to know why I wrote about someone who sounded like him when in truth, he had never typed a negative word about me. fuHe had fully adopted the hateful persona he called AstroYouth as he loudly speculated for all passers-by about the mental illnesses I must struggle with, to think him a troll. The beauty of having my own site is I’m not accountable to anyone. He couldnt control me–he was powerless over my deeds and thoughts, and he couldn’t even punish me for my impertinence bc I didn’t need anything from him in the form of payment. He was left with attempted public condemnation. I say, attempted, bc the only way to publicly shame people us to expose them to the disapproval of people who matter to them and who they matter to. I don’t matter. The observers were mildly interested, but their interest was more in the subject of the rant, than it’s object (me). What’s more, by falling back on age old prejudicial words used about mental illness, he confirmed that he was everything he denied–my enemy. But why fling off the sheltering cloak of anonymity and reveal his hobby to important people he might not have seen. It’s not who you see that’s important, it is who sees you. Maybe he had been fired and had given up on the life he had lived. I’ll tell you why I think so.

I made a valuable, jarring observation: he was missing a lot of teeth.

The last time I had seen this malcontent in a professional way, I had noticed his dental situation. How could I miss it? I had assumed he adroitly removed his dentures when I looked away. In fact, when I read the subsequent negative review about my provider skills and looks, I was surprised that he was comfortable enough to take out his teeth, and after that intimacy, bad-mouthed me. He was safe with me but he didn’t return the favor. I was more wrong than I knew, for he had no dentures, so he never took out his teeth with me. He was walking around like that. Possession of dentures is a visible Hawaii status symbol, in my book. Often locals are completely toothless by age 30. A brownskinned toothless native is common. You never see toothless middle class whites, unless they are just re-entering the middle class after a time on drugs. I am drawing the conclusion that when a professional white man shows up to work without dentures, his status is going, going, gone. Any marked departure from accepted dental appearance and/or hygiene is probably an indication of personal/professional trouble. Evidently, he was beyond caring about his reputation.  Granted, his reputation wasn’t going to take much of a hit among my fellow outcasts, but normies do walk by in that part of town, always as if they do not see us. What if a normie followed the trick’s lead and broke protocol? A normie could have listened to a mild disturbance among the untouchables. He didn’t  fear exposure?  I had never seen a man take a risk that was not going to lead directly to sex (like pulling over to allow me into his vehicle). I listened as he loudly berated me by quoting my blogs and explaining why I was wrong and crazy, to boot, to my loosely congregated group waiting for the bus. No sex  on the horizon after this display. Did his rage and desire to wound me stemmed from his dental issues? Misery loves company? Who cares about decorum when your teeth are gone? Surely he was not upset about anything I said bc who wants to hear from a whore? We may never know why he threw the standard  caution of a trick to the wind, opened his toothless mouth and bayed at the 🌕 moon.

 

P.S. if  only obsessions were mutual. One person always cares more than the other person in a dyad, like my late, beloved friend who was mostly gay (except for me.) I loved him so much and that love was pretty much unreciprocated. Now, look at this former trick of mine. I don’t know his name nor do I care. Yet he had committed my words to memory while I was engaged in hard core grieving for a man who didn’t love me. How unbalanced. I wish someone who liked me would be drawn to me with such intensity! I hope this suffering attracts readers so it all won’t be for naught!

It wasn’t xxx, or porn but an old trick put on a public show

Whenever I have seen guys in a pro context, the meetings and departures are tricky. They don’t want to be seen with me, don’t want exposure. They want to keep their dalliances secret. In 20 years, off and on, of practice, no one has ever made a scene. They enter and exit on tiptoes, speak in whispers. No one has ever publicly linked himself to me in close physical proximity to his work. The code of secret silence was broken yesterday, when a trick from years ago came up to me as I sat with others in a public mall. I like to go downtown when I am lonely. No homeless person objects when I sit with them, as I did yesterday. The red light and homeless districts are adjacent to the business district. I often have a legit reason to enter the area, but I linger bc I want to do so. There I was when an irate trick decided I had no right to deny him explanations for the opinions I have voiced in this blog. He had been unable to force me to answer his questions about why I wrote some posts last year that detailed his use of several screen names, one that hated me in my provider role, the other persona liked me as a provider and have me two thumbs up. Like a one man Siskel and Ebert. Evidently, the disgruntled internet troll had forgotten his claim that he had never posted about me–ever. He demanded to know why I wrote about someone who sounded like him when Hehe had never typed a negative word about me. fuHe had fully adopted the hateful persona he called AstroYouth as he loudly speculated for all passers-by about the mental illnesses I must struggle with, to think him a troll. The beauty of having my own site is I’m not accountable to anyone. He couldnt control me–he was powerless over my deeds and thoughts, and he couldn’t even punish me for my impertinence bc I didn’t need anything from him in the form of payment. He was left with attempted public condemnation. I say, attempted, bc the only way to publicly shame people us to expose them to the disapproval of people who matter to them and who they matter to. I don’t matter. The observers were mildly interested, but their interest was more in the subject of the rant, than it’s object (me). What’s more, by falling back on age old prejudicial words used about mental illness, he confirmed that he was everything he denied–my enemy. But why throw off the sheltering cloak of anonymity and reveal his hobby to important people he might not have seen. It’s not who you see that’s important, it is who sees you. Maybe he had been fired and had given up on the life he had lived. I’ll tell you why I think so.

I made a valuable observation: he was missing a lot of teeth.

The last time I had seen this malcontent in a professional way, I had noticed his dental situation. How could I miss it? I had assumed he adroitly removed his dentures when I looked away. In fact, when I read the subsequent negative review about my provider skills and looks, bI hadeen surprised that he was comfortable enough to take out his teeth, and badyet had-mouthed me. He was safe with me but he didn’t return the favor. I was more wrong than I knew, for he had no dentures. Possession of dentures is a visible Hawaii status symbol, in my book. Often locals are completely toothless by age 30. A brownskinned toothless native is common, you never see toothless middle class whites, unless they are just re-entering the middle class after a time on drugs. I am drawing the conclusion that when a professional white man shows up to work without dentures, his status is going, going, gone. Any marked departure from accepted dental appearance and/or hygiene is probably an indication of personal/professional trouble. Evidently, he was beyond caring about his reputation. I watched this gap-toothed guy loudly berate me by quoting my blogs and explaining why I was wrong to the loosely congregated group waiting for the bus. I wondered if his rage and desire to wound stemmed from his dental issues? Misery loves company? Who cares about decorum at this point? We may never know why caution was thrown to the wind and he opened his toothless mouth and bayed at the 🌕 moon.

I wish obsessions were mutual. One person always cares more than the other person in a dyad, like my late, beloved friend who was mostly gay (except for me.) I loved him so much and that love was pretty much unreciprocated. Now, look at this former trick of mine. I don’t know his name nor do I care. Yet he had committed my words to memory while I was engaged in hard core grieving for a man who didn’t love me. How unbalanced. I wish someone who liked me would be drawn to me with such intensity! I hope this suffering attracts readers so it all won’t be for naught!

Tansgender–Me? Part II

ALL MEN ARE GAY–REVISITED

“Mandee, said ‘all men are gay?'” asked Jane, a woman who was back to heroin and back on the street after 14 years of sobriety. Granted, there was a stretch in prison that kept her off dope but she had been clean on her own for several years. “I can’t stand Mandee. She thinks she is better bc she doesn’t have to work on the street bc she lives with that trick. I hate that she is the one who said it, bc it’s true. Especially if they do ice. Every one of their latent tendencies come out. When they come downtown that’s what they’re looking for.” I jumped in with a question. “You understand why people are wrong when they tell me to get a dark dildo.” I asked, and we both laughed. We knew that when men slipped out of their normal lives and dipped into downtown to enjoy the company of other men, these (often) married men wanted the feel of a man on their tongues. Not a dildo. It was nice for me to talk to someone who understood that so many men have that desire. As Jane continued her story it was clear to me she understood something else. “Guys used to say they thought I was a guy too. Total BS. I’m a beautiful intelligent white woman and it scares them. You’re a beautiful strong and intelligent black woman and they’re intimidated. It’s too hard to admit a woman scares them so they make us into men. It’s the only way they can live with themselves bc they can’t live with the thought of a woman being better than them in any way.”

I thought about the men who spread rumors about me and wouldn’t you know, they were all men who had needed my help–they borrowed money from me, or asked to stay with me, Finally I understood why my generosity was repaid with acrimony and lies about my gender. Asking a woman for help was, to them, a low point they never thought they’d reach.

THE WHY’S

Men ask if I am a man out of wishful thinking. And they prefer to think of me as a man rather than consider a woman smarter, stronger, or in any way more successful. No way could a woman be amazing. They are either wrong about women or that’s not a woman. Wrong? No way. That’s too good to be a woman

WHY YOU NEED TO READ THIS SITE

WHAT YOU GET OUT OF READING expertescort2018.com

WHAT DO I WANT?

I’ve thought about creative ways to make a living that meet my standards of acceptability. I want my work to be profitable, legal and moral. I want to make a positive difference in someone’s life in such a way that the person is better off for interacting with me. The bonus would be if something I do is remembered long after I am forgotten. Who named the Mississippi River? I don’t know, but the word is part of the worlds language. Maybe I can come up with something.

I AM AN EXPERT

When I was in prison in Hawaii for possession of $10 worth of an opiate, I worked with graduate students who wanted to learn about designing programs for inmates. Still other grad students received school credits for interacting with me when I was part of a group doing in house treatment. It came to me that I must have something to teach. I am obviously privy to knowledge that can only be obtained by interacting with me and others similarly situated. Therefore it is not a stretch to call myself an expert.

MY AREAS OF EXPERTISE

Addiction, Incarceration, and Streetlife

Question about sex and relationships?

Suspect someone you care about is an addict?

Wondering if your desires are normal?

Email me at asktheescort@gmail.com

TRANSGENDER–ME? AN UNEXPECTEDLY CONSTANT ISSUE FOR ME ON THE STREET

Ivy League X-Streetwalker in Honolulu

Transgender–Me? Part I

Inquiring Minds Want to Know

Trans-What?

When I was young, I don’t remember knowing the word transgender. Now the word is a part of public life. Transgender is a word that has become a part of my personal life, and I couldn’t be more surprised.

I Have Always Been Female and I never had to say so on the mainland United States

A former associate named Ross said he knows somebody who knew Caroleena in California when she was a man,” a gossip said to his girlfriend– right in front of me–just yesterday, March 30, 2019. He watched for my reaction. I did not give him a reaction. Disappointed, he went back to muttering to himself and ignoring his girlfriend while she regaled me with a list of complaints about him. I listened to her with half an ear but my mind was preoccupied by speculation about this man’s motive for repeating this gossip about me in front of me. In Hawaii, if you ask someone if she is really a man it’s possible that you are voicing a legit question, not trying to offend. It is not unusual for men to become mahus and in the drug addict “community” I would say one out of five women is really a man. When I worked the streets downtown I was asked at least one hundred times by potential dates if I was a girl or a boy as soon as I get it into the vehicle that had pulled over for me. I was confident I had the right answer, but many times the driver’s expression changed from expectant to disappointed. “Nevermind, that’s ok I’ll pull over so you can get out. Oh! Here’s $20 for your time,” the kinder drivers would say before we had gone two blocks. I was glad to get the money for nothing but rejection was embarrassing even if no one was watching me climb out of the car before the driver took the usual, ”mauka” (towards the mountains) turn that signalled the new, temporary couple was heading for a rendezvous spot in the vehicle or at his residence.

Two, No Three, Reasons for the question

The Honolulu street level sex worker scene is known for being heavily “staffed” with the unconventionally gendered, so to speak. But there were reasons I, personally was singled out and asked if I had been s lifelong female. I had devoted myself to exercise. This practice has left me with the physique commonly seen in workout videos. Ok, I am flattering myself. I wish I looked like I might’ve starred in a Beachbody video. Not quite. I am not all that, but it’s unheard of for a female addict to have great muscle tone.. Hawaii is not an exercise Mecca. Obesity is normal and pretty much ok. Island locals have regularly mocked me for being unfeminine and ocd. But educated east coast women like me would find me quite normal.

I’m not just fit. There are those who would say, I’m pretty. A double whammy.“The mahus look better than the women downtown,” I heard many times. Years of using drugs can take its toll physically and spiritually. Women “out there” give up on being pretty. I’ve seen it–women’s complete reliance on proferring what’s between the legs to earn money for the next high. Make up, styled hair. Who cared? Women on the street were watching their looks fade, especially the ice smokers with their rotting teeth. Mahus were just coming into their looks. They cared about their looks, and I cared about mine, especially my teeth. In my youth, and even in my more mature years “out there,” men considered me pretty. If I did not get one compliment every day, I felt distressed, bc I hadn’t gotten my second fix. I exercised st public parks and used public bathrooms for doing drugs AND brushing my teeth.“You’re not like the other women down here. You take care of yourself. That’s why I wasn’t sure about you” one client had said as an apology for asking if I was a “real” woman. I basked in what I perceived as praise. I never expected that the traits I valued were the same characteristics that made people question me. Those are two reasons people are asked. I believe I know about a third reason.

I never expected that the traits I valued were the same characteristics that made people question me. Those are two reasons people are asked. I believe I know about a third reason.

SURPRISE!

Men asked then, and continue to ask this day, if I am a man or a woman not just because they think I might really be a man. They HOPE I am a man. They are voicing a desire not a doubt.

If only out had d*** to go with that pretty face. You’d be perfect.”

–wistful words of a disappointed man before asking me to exit his vehicle

I will share my theories. Stay tuned for more in Part II of “Transgender–Me?” Find out more about what men hoped for and the complex reasons why they wished I was really a man.

Love, Caroleena, May 2, 2019

My Phone Was Stolen by Someone I Tried To Help


(808) 367-4278 • mobileMessage by by October 20 2018, 5:52 AMMessage by You: attachment: Image, Saturday, October 20 2018, 5:52 AMMessage by You: attachment: Image, Saturday, October 20 2018, 5:52 AMMessage by You: attachment: Image, Saturday, October 20 2018, 5:53 AMMessage by You: attachment: Image, Saturday, October 20 2018, 5:53 AMMessage by You: attachment: Image, Saturday, October 20 2018, 5:53 AMMessage by You: attachment: Image, Saturday, October 20 2018, 5:53 AMMessage by You: attachment: Image, Saturday, October 20 2018, 5:54 AMMessage by You: attachment: Image, Saturday, October 20 2018, 5:55 AMMessage by You: attachment: Image, Saturday, October 20 2018, 5:56 AMMessage by You: attachment: Image, Saturday, October 20 2018, 5:57 AMMessage by You: attachment: Image, Saturday, October 20 2018, 5:58 AMOct 20, 2018Message by You: Great pics, Monday, November 19 2018, 10:14 AMGreat picsMessage by You: attachment: Image, Monday, November 19 2018, 12:50 PMNov 19, 2018Message by T R Lazarus: Ambition is jealousy with a purpose. The word “jealous” has pejorative connotations but the word “ambitious ” can be positive or negative depending upon the context. For me, to be jealous is to be immobulized by bitterness deficits and you will find that people do not embrace the word jealous. But to claim one is ambitious is to make jealousy an acceptable trait to have within oneself and to see in others. and people do not usually want to put that word on a list of their character traits,, Friday, December 7 2018, 7:12 PMAmbition is jealousy with a purpose. The word “jealous” has pejorative connotations but the word “ambitious ” can be positive or negative depending upon the context. For me, to be jealous is to be immobulized by bitterness deficits and you will find that people do not embrace the word jealous. But to claim one is ambitious is to make jealousy an acceptable trait to have within oneself and to see in others. and people do not usually want to put that word on a list of their character traits,T R Lazarus (mobile) • Dec 7, 2018Message by T R Lazarus: Glad you have so many views they are probly laughing at the fact that you a Harvard student can’t use spell check nor understands how to reread the shiet you wrote as well as the fact that you often in your blog bring up one topic and can’t stay on it long enough to get the subject of each topic you ramble on about that ends up being so far from the originating topic Harvard would laugh at ur blogs, Monday, December 10 2018, 7:13 AMGlad you have so many views they are probly laughing at the fact that you a Harvard student can’t use spell check nor understands how to reread the shiet you wrote as well as the fact that you often in your blog bring up one topic and can’t stay on it long enough to get the subject of each topic you ramble on about that ends up being so far from the originating topic Harvard one re h

Why no recent posts? I haven’t posted bc i delayed replacing my stolen phone. Someone who called himself my friend took it. I figured as much yet I fruitlessly searched. I’m not helping anyone who is where I once was. I’m merely opening myself up to be victimized which will no doubt reinforce the sociopathic delight in getting over on someone clueless. I should’ve had a clue. When I have people over to my place I need to assemble my phone, keys, money, wallet and secure them in a fanny pack on my waist. I must wear the zipper side against my stomach in case I fall asleep and don’t feel stealthy hands. Then, after I attach my belongings to my person inside my own home, I need to stop lying to myself. I don’t invite friends. People in need of a shower hitchhike, or “tailgate,” by following residents into my building. They show up unannounced, at times I’m usually out. Jalousie windows are removable in two minutes. The truth is, “friends” climb in. So do the neighbors. They divide the spoils. What spoils? It’s a modest life, my existence, but waaaay better than nothing. They take food–human & cat, hygiene items, batteries, spare, change, and the info from my prepaid cards. That’s why I had to challenge unauthorized charges for games made to my PayPal account through the linked card– at a time when I had the card. That’s why my hostile, overtly racist next door neighbor watches me from the 10th floor railing til I’m off the property. That’s why my neighbor four doors down has a smirk whenever I catch her in my clothes. Today, she looked ridiculous wearing one of my sundresses awkwardly teamed with my jeans & shirt. I know thieves, not friends. I can’t lie to myself so I bought a new phone., Friday, April 12 2019, 9:33 AMSubject: Fwd: Fwd:Why no recent posts? I haven’t posted bc i delayed replacing my stolen phone. Someone who called himself my friend took it. I figured as much yet I fruitlessly searched. I’m not helping anyone who is where I once was. I’m merely opening myself up to be victimized which will no doubt reinforce the sociopathic delight in getting over on someone clueless. I should’ve had a clue. When I have people over to my place I need to assemble my phone, keys, money, wallet and secure them in a fanny pack on my waist. I must wear the zipper side against my stomach in case I fall asleep and don’t feel stealthy hands. Then, after I attach my belongings to my person inside my own home, I need to stop lying to myself. I don’t invite friends. People in need of a shower hitchhike, or “tailgate,” by following residents into my building. They show up unannounced, at times I’m usually out. Jalousie windows are removable in two minutes. The truth is, “friends” climb in. So do the neighbors. They divide the spoils. What spoils? It’s a modest life, my existence, but waaaay better than nothing. They take food–human & cat, hygiene items, batteries, spare, change, and the info from my prepaid cards. That’s why I had to challenge unauthorized charges for games made to my PayPal account through the linked card– at a time when I had the card. That’s why my hostile, overtly racist next door neighbor watches me from the 10th floor railing til I’m off the property. That’s why my neighbor four doors down has a smirk whenever I catch her in my clothes. Today, she looked ridiculous wearing one of my sundresses awkwardly teamed with my jeans & shirt. I know thieves, not friends. I can’t lie to myself so I bought a new phone.T R Lazarus (mobile) • 9:33 AM

Dear Blog Author: Are You A Boy Or A Girl?

BACKGROUND INFO

I used to walk the streets in downtown Honolulu, adjacent to and kind of mingling with Chinatown. The first time I saw this area summer 1994 , I was amazed at the poor quality of the buildings and how far removed (socially) the downtown area was from Waikiki. They’ve started gentrifying the area by bringing in trendy eateries, clubs, that sort of thing. But the hardcore homeless/drug/prostitution area is still on Kukui Street. I will take some pics with my phone yo show you, dear Readers. In the early 2000’s the market was lively. Lots of sex workers. Women, and men who self-identified as women in dress and self promotion. They were called mahus then but I think that night be a derogatory term that’s been replaced by TG or TS. Locals and informed visitors knew one could buy someone’s time there. The prices were way cheaper ($20 vs $200) and the workers were out all day every day not just at night.

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