Whore or Wife. Difference?
We want a Lady in the Street and a freak in the sheetsLytic by Rapper Ludacris, describing a man’s ideal significant other
Wife as Secret, Masked Whore
Whore or Wife. Difference?
We want a Lady in the Street and a freak in the sheetsLytic by Rapper Ludacris, describing a man’s ideal significant other
Wife as Secret, Masked Whore
Rape–do guys discuss it with each other? I’ve asked many men who have all denied even hearing a conversation between guys about rapes they’ve done or wished they’d done. Statistically more women have been raped than not. I must know many rapists. But no one discussed it. I talk about “issues” in the abstract but in truth the people who have done taboo things are all around us. Guess what? Many people:
1. Regret having children
2. Dislike their children
3. Beat up the smaller and weaker. For fun, for a rush.
4. Abuse animals. Especially unpopular animals like cats.
5. Commit rapes. Plan to or wish they’d seized an opportunity to rape. Especially if the person is no virgin and is passed out drunk.
6. Molest children, have sex with underage kids who are mature for their age and can handle it.
7. Have abortions. Help people have abortions.
8. Help terminally ill people die.
9. Steal from the elderly or people with dementia who won’t miss the items or spend the money.
10. Allow men (husbands, boyfriends, strangers) sexual access to their children in exchange for status as a wife, a place to stay, drugs. They hate the kids bc they are jealous the guy wants the kid.
11. Make people do stuff bc they have money or a place to live or something someone wants. They power Trip and they like it.
None of this is rare, although people will not admit to anything in the list unless there is a reward for doing so. We all know people who’ve done these things, and more. We have done some it all of these things, or more. Just bc no one talks about something doesn’t mean it’s not happening.
Saint Peter, Heaven Committee Chair during this segment of eternity, exits heaven proper to talk to the nervous newly applicants lined up outside of the gates to see which of them will be allowed to shed their newly dead bodies and pick up their spirit forms that include an understanding of the unknowable mysteries. Or so went the rumor. Rumors were started by those who had been waitlisted when they initially arrived at the ante-chamber and were waiting with the first timers, regular applicants and those hoping for early admission. Saint Peter’s arrival was not seen, nor heard but was nevertheless completely attention getting. Contradictions mesh seamlessly here, another apparent contradiction that was not oxymoronic. And in a place that seems so beyond a person’s power to control, the option of choice is, well, an option.
Eternity is long, entertainment possibilities endless. For fun, applicants were now offered their personal strengths as the basis for their judgment. Funny people were judged humorously, for example. God, who held veto power could be in your image or you could trust God’s pre-existing standards.
They can’t help it, it is their nature. Most people wanted to be judged by the embodiment of their best characteristics, rather than trusting God. “I want a God, with a sense of humor,” or “I’ve always been laid back, island style,” said a former resident of Hawaii. “No worries. If can, can. If no can, no can,” And sure enough, the funny guy got in, the laid back guy was admitted, as was the mellow guy.
But it was not to be for the once and former criminal court judge. The well respected judge was known far and wide who was all that a judge could and should be. Fair, without bias, meting out justice even handedly.
I’m a fair person. I want God to be absolutely fair with me, to give me what I deserve.The last request of a newly deceased soul before being jettisoned to hell with a quickness.
The next spirit in line had watched the goings on and thought he finally understood Jesus. Jesus was not about fairness. The applicant was admitted to heaven with these words.
I don’t want God to be fair. No way do I want what I deserve. I want mercy. Please and thank you.The embodiment of Christianity and the only way any human could be acceptable to God. Jesus is not fair. He is biased in our favor.
Human righteousness at it’s most honored best is like “filthy rags” which translates to used maxi pads, according to my former pastor. Everyone falls short of the glory of God. If each human tried to jump across the Grand Canyon, some would get farther than others, but no one would make it. Similarly, human goodness can never reach Divine levels. Not Mother Theresa, or Gandhi, or Martin Luther King Jr. Jesus commands us to apply the same sort of mercy to each other, undeserved and unreciprocated though that forgiveness may be. Don’t give people what they’ve earned and what they unquestionably deserve. Don’t do to them what they’d do to you. Don’t be fair. Have mercy.
I don’t have sex. All I ever do is talk.A common half truth told by working girls. The whole truths are related to the statement.
1. I was surprised to learn that there is quite a bit of talking on the job. But it’s not “instead of” sexual favors, more like, “in addition to”sexual favors.” There were guys who demanded I share my opinions on current events. My intellect fascinated them. Now I know I should’ve charged for what could take as long as an hour!
2. I was surprised to discover that many women in the game did not find relationships easy. They didn’t like most people, didn’t want to spend time, certainly didn’t want to have sex. Prostitution is set apart from relationships that require time and intimacy so women who stumble upon this unlikely way to isolate themselves will stay in the job. Who’d have thought that a task so connected with others would appeal to women who have trouble relating to people on a deep level? But it’s true.
3. Working girls draw the line between touching guys and being touched. The women usually don’t want to be touched. For some it’s a way to stay in control. Others don’t like the feel of a stranger groping inexpertly. Or maybe being touched brings back trauma. Some women make no touching a condition of contact even if they aren’t playing dominant and submissive.
4. In spite of everyone’s intentions to stay distant, bonds form if you see someone over time. Most women develop friendships with one or more guys. A small percentage marry. Quite a few end up with a boyfriend, myself included. Almost everyone has someone to call on for favors. Diapers for the baby. Rides to visit a dying friend in a care home on the windward side of the island. A notary stamp on important paperwork. Visits when she is in jail. Taking her shark cage diving on Oahu’s North Shore. Moving her, her girlfriend, and their four dogs into his family’s home after his mom dies. A birthday gift of a concert ticket for a famous pop star’s performance at the Blaisdell. I’ve seen these favors. I’ve never seen a Richard Gere type, in terms of wealth and good looks, but the premise of the movie Pretty Woman is completely valid. It happens. But don’t count on it, not when you’re an addict.
5. Most amazing? You can actually enjoy being with the guy, and you look forward to seeing him. The same guy you once endured until he was done. We are women, so that relationship takes time and is not based upon sex, but on the interactions apart from sex, especially him paying her properly, respecting her “no.” And, yes, helping her out.
I am not a man but if I say I am, people must accept it.
I cannot declare that I am a bear or a cat. I cannot say that I have no head or no arms. I cannot decide that I am six feet tall and 100 pounds and want to be a runway model. I cannot change my ethnicity to Chinese. Why not? Because those things are not true. And that is ok. There is no judgement that I am not a bear. It is neither bad nor good that I am a homo sapien, or human being. It simply is. However, if I say that I am a male, and I am transgender, which is to say I am transitioning across genders from female to male, than people must accept what is not as though it is. Even prior to gender reassignment surgery, which would seem the logical time to say, ok, now I am this other gender. After all, I was not busty until I had the breast augmentation, and I could say I had great cleavage in those days, but it simply was not so. No one would have backed up my wishful thinking. In fact, I never engaged in such wishful thinking that was so divergent from the truth. At that time. However, TG people get a break from the stark reality that they are not what they really want to be until they make it happen. If people cannot guess that the “real” person’s gender is different than physical reality, well, these people are obviously out of step with the times, at best, ignorant bigots, at worst.
I have never struggled with gender identity. I never knew, until quite recently, that people had such issues. Believe me, I have my share of problems, so it’s nice to be at peace with some aspect of myself. Still, I can relate to people trying to make the world inside their heads a working environment. I know what it is to struggle inside, and telling yourself lies, or let’s say premature truths, as a way to assert who you want to be is no way to reach your goals. I suppose people say they are “transitioning” to acknowledge the process. I am fine with transitioning, but you are your anatomical gender until you are not.
Am I saying you are locked into gender roles, societal constructs that masquerade as immutable facts? Of course not. But don’t de-legitimize your fight by foisting unfulfilled plans on the rest of us. When you do, you are no different than the people who push their version of facts by saying pink is for girls, blue is for boys, world without end, forever and ever. Amen
Anatomy does not determine destiny. But anatomy determines anatomy.
No drugs? Where’s the joy? I’ll have nothing left.Long term addict and streetwalker “Ivory,” six months before her death at age 48, doubting the wisdom of getting clean.
If we are going to live with the relentless obsession about using drugs, if we are going to overcome screaming urges, we need a reason. Something to hope for, to believe in. Just as everyone needs a reason to get out of bed, so do we. Except in our experience the only goodness in our lives, however temporary, has come from getting high. Hitting bottom is an expression that doesn’t tell the truth about what we need. And what we need is the belief that in spite of all evidence to the contrary, there’s goodness waiting for us that’s way better than whatever reward we receive from using.
Two guys, Americans named Tom and Harry, died at the exact same time on earth and as a result they were in line side by side, waiting to talk to St. Peter, Heaven’s gatekeeper who interviewed prospects. St. Peter came out and said there was a lot of time in eternity and now and again, they liked to shake up the standard procedure. St. Peter addressed the group and said,
Think about your best characteristic and ask Admissions to apply that characteristic when reviewing your case. You determine the code by which you are judged.St. Peter, explaining the experimental decision making process for Heaven’s admission committee. Heaven is easier to get into than Harvard, but like Harvard, the President doesn’t deal with the day to day goings-on.
They guy in front of Tom and Harry said, “I have always had a great sense of humor. I want the committee to look at my life and laugh. I think that will get me into heaven.”
He was right. He went in to the next room to argue his case. There was a lot of laughter and they saw a check mark light up over the door to the inner chamber. That one got approved.
The guy behind them said, “I am ready, take me now. I have never asked too much from myself or from other people. I was really easy to get along with. I always had low standards.” They doubted that he would get in with that way of thinking, but the green light of approval went on and that was another person on his way to meet the Big Guy.
Tom turned to Harry and gave him his idea of his best characteristic. Harry shook his head. Tom was quite certain Harry would not be admitted even though he prized a moral code that most people thought was right and honorable. Tom was correct. Harry went in to the main chamber and before too long the red X of rejection lit up over the door and the elevator went down. God’s thoughts are not our thoughts
Question: What moral code did Harry ask to be judged by that caused him to be sent to hell, even though most people believe it is right to do things this way?
Answer to follow
When I first started using drugs I was young and beautiful. Not to everyone of course, but to enough people that I could get some mileage out of my looks. If I had known that youth would not last forever and that I was never going to be as good looking as I was then, I would have tried to marry well. But I didn’t know which is why youth is wasted on the young. I used my looks to get the attention of other drug addicts who had apartments. Usually they were disabled guys who lived in some form of subsidized housing. Guys who were addicts and had nice places to live were in the process of losing their homes as their addictions progressed, unbeknownst to them. These guys were still trying to kid themselves by going to work from time to time. trying not to hang out with other addicts every single day, ultimately pointless efforts. Low income guys had stabilized in their apartments. The rent was often handled by a payee so they couldn’t blow all their money on drugs. The rest of their checks went up in smoke within a day or to after Social Security disability paid them for whatever ailed them. The rest of the month they exchanged access to their place for dope. I caught their eyes, but pretty wasn’t enough. I had to come up with the drugs to trade. In the year 2000, thereabouts, a working girl could get a date in under a minute 24/7, the only slow day being Superbowl Sunday. My pattern: leave whatever apartment I had stayed in until the drugs ran out
I always assumed I would have a premonition of impending disaster. I believed no tragedy would catch me off guard. In retrospect i see that this untested belief gave the illusion of predictability. 8 had no logical reason to be surprised to find my best friend dead on the kitchen floor three years ago next Tuesday. Contrary to my dearly held assumption, I suspected nothing, felt no foreboding. Not even when I found his phone in bed next to me and got up to look for him. I was happy as I called his name. His phone was with me. The knowledge that he must be near his phone, with me, had filled me with anticipation. Had I known I was steps away from discovering his dead body I would have missed out on the last feelings of pure happiness allotted to me. I don’t know if it’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. But I am quite certain it’s best not to see what’s coming and afterwards, to never know what hit you.
The news that pop music rapper T. I. has bought into the myth that a doctor can “check” virginity has caused a controversy. After President Nixon had his people commit a burglary in a building called the Watergate, “gate” is attached to any controversial term. Hence Hyman-gate, for all of you too young to know about Watergate. I’m too young to have lived through Watergate, but as a child in the 1980’s Watergate still loomed large in the country’s newly jaded psyche. Hymen-gate, the newest hymen related controversy. Why a new story? These “checks” have been happening for thousands of years. I read Diana had to pass this test before she could become Princess by marrying prince Charles. What’s more absurd than the inability of a torn hymen to reflect sexual history is that T.I. is probably just as worried that his baby girl is doing lots of sexual stuff that leaves no Hymen evidence. What’s he going to do about that? Secret cameras that function through her phone without her knowing it…? He could install such an app since he surely has access to her phone. He could commission a techie to make an app that doesn’t alert the user. Yep, that’s the way to make the violation truly effective rather than a useless physical check that doesn’t tell a person anything.
People find themselves inadvertantly holding their breath but liars never accidentally tell the truth. You’ve heard, “remember to breathe.” Ever heard, “remember to lie? ” I didn’t think so.
If a man chooses to engage in activity with someone else that he could do with his wife for, but chooses not to, that’s adultery. But it’s not like he could enjoy a man’s body through her. Where’s the betrayal? That’s what my friend explained to me as he showed me one online ad after another from married men seeking other married men, just for a weekend encounter. After that, the happily married men resumed their conjugal relationships. Everyone was happy, getting what they wanted. No one was the wiser. Opinions?
Maybe lifelong blindness forms a protective cocoon. Isn’t that what people want when they embrace repression and denial?
I thought I was lonlely and friendless bc of some internal flaw. Maybe. But maybe not. My research shows that in today’s world we spend our time in meaningless sub-social (my word) interactions mediated by a screen. Texting instead of calling. Facebooking people we will never see again or never meet in the first place, instead of putting in face to face time with a reach-out-and-touch human. Time wasted in meaningless chatter bc our souls feel lonely without constant contact with someone or someones. You can have a close relationship if you talk on the phone, and don’t see the person, but that is the maximum distance between two people if they are to be considered in a relationship. Take the voice out of an interaction that is not face to face and what we have is a bunch of pen pals.
Addiction’s Plus Side
If you want to get high you have to interact with people. If you are not independently wealthy you will need a hustle. Theft. Prostitution. Drug dealing. There are sub categories. You could be a shoplifter (colloquially called “booster”). Or an identity thief. Under prostitution you could work the streets or make it your mission to be the dealer’s girlfriend. Drug dealing could be as big time as you see in the movies or as small time as running the $10 baggie to the new customer so if it’s really an undercover cop the low level person will catch the 10 year case for actually handing the stuff to the officer.
Once your financing is in order, you either have to go to the dealer or find the person who knows the person. From what I have seen from my personal level heroin use in Hawaii, the bigger the dealer, the less likely he is to use the drug himself (though he might pull temporary sex partners from the drug using population.) All the books on making friends suggest shared hobbies as a springboard into relationships. Up the ante to shared obsession, and you’ve got instant companionship and association. Not friendship, of course, bc addiction brings out the cold hearted snake within the soul of every human. That primal, limbic brain is activated and addicts will do whatever is necessary, making it is best not to let the necessary occur.
But hey, we’ve got each other–ain’t we got fun? This fun is something I seldom hear spoken about when there’s talk about sobriety. What will I do with my time if I’m sober and who will I do it with. If people can’t get drugs or sex out of me, will anyone want me at all? Will I want anyone if interactions aren’t about using others? I get using and being used. That’s safe as a known phenomenon. Relationships based on…whatever they’re based on between people who love each other, I’ve never had that and wouldn’t know how to begin. I’m lonely and don’t know how to fix it bc my caustic wit isn’t reeling ’em in. I don’t know how to conclude this piece. I’ll just stop writing now.
Harvard X-Hooker made a change that will allow you to read this blog anywhere
I caught myself concealing my phone while I waited for another job interview with someone not willing to hire an X-Hooker. I didn’t want the person who would never be my boss to find out too soon that she didn’t want to be my boss by catching a glimpse of the words of my blog and getting the wrong idea from TLI–too little information. This isn’t a xxx site, and it’s not a dating site. It’s a respectable analysis, for regular people–of prostitution and addiction. And that’s what I’ll say in the tag line. So–no need to tilt your phone to hide the screen from passers by anymore.
Never argue with a fool– because the on lookers cannot tell the differenceAn argumentative fool sharing with me what he learned about how others judge you by the people with whom you associate.
This Christmas movie classic originally featured a 7 second cameo by Donald Trump, who gives McCaulley Culkin directions, long before Trump thought of running for president. The movie powers that be in Canada had trimmed seconds here and there from this movie and other movies to keep them under 2 hours. Around 2014, that 7 second cameo was cut, along with other snippets that (I guess) were not essential for the plot. Immediately Trump launched into what I call his refrain–I’m amazing, they hate me for being me, they tried to get me, look what they did, yet they failed to take me down because I am amazing. The President heard that his cameo had been cut by Canadian film people (forgive my ignorance, I am not Googling the name bc it’s not essential to my point and I want to dash this post off). He accused the Canadian Prime Minister of cutting him out of the film in retaliation for some difference of opinion. The Canadian Prime Minister was not in office in 2014 and I think he has as much involvement with films as the American president. In other words he had nothing to do with the decision. The news pointed out Trump’s mistakes, as they always do. I don’t know if Trump is more often wrong than everyone who came before him or this is the media coverage. I do take Trump’s statements about fake news seriously because he has been well situated for a long time to know the truth about the media.
It is true that people are more appealing to others after they admit they have made mistakes. But I have noticed that if a woman is on television and she is very beautiful, like the Colombian actress on Modern Family, she always has to look ridiculous in some other way. In that case the character has an annoying voice and a tendency to make simple mistakes, dumb blond style. Suzanne Sommers did dumb blonde on Three’s Company. Even the classic show The Golden Girls, often had characters comment on the wideness of the sexy character’s derriere. I was watching a story about Jessica Alba and the report began with “why we hate Jessica Alba,” since she has so much going for her they were “feigning” jealousy. Sure I find Trump ridiculous for his self-involvement and that he says “I” more than other presidents, but I did not notice how I myself accepted him saying he was awesome. No one ever got down on Muhammed Ali when he did his I’m so Pretty repartee with Howard Cosell, the sportscaster. Can you imagine a woman crowing about how great she is? I would have to imagine it because there are no examples of a female public figure ever behaving like that. What if a woman made all the accusations, unfounded and others, that Trump has made. She might be institutionalized, like thousands of other women who are presently locked up against their wills and have been throughout the 20th century when men deemed their behavior “crazy.” If she wasn’t called crazy, that hyper aggressive woman might be branded as a witch. Unless she has some glaring defect that can comfort society with the assurance that a woman can only be so good.