You’re kidding!” exclaimed the client after I told him the name of my alma mater. I had gone to one of the most famous colleges in the world. There was no avoiding the inevitable next question: why are you doing this? No I did not begin or end my academic career with a plan to even meet an escort much less become one. But fifteen years ago the state I called home decided that possession of $10 of a certain narcotic was a felony. As a convicted felon, the best way to make a living is through self employment. The felony blocked access to every career path the prestigious name on my diploma would have virtually guaranteed. Sobriety does not negate a felony and only a few businesses open their doors to the penniless. I still want to survive even if I have had some problems. I never thought I would turn to socially stigmatized actions to get by but lo and behold, the once unimaginable is now routine. But the unexpected benefit of failure is that I received an answer to the question that failed my grudges: how could they have failed me? Today I say: I understand how a person could fall short. Escorting as a path to empathy. Who would have thought?
I had back to back appointments one busy night there was a client who took one look at me and said, “Wow…You’re beautiful. I just want to look at you,” which is what he did from a chair six feet away for an uncomfortable hour. Ninety minutes later I met a client who took one look at me and said” Frankly I was expecting more,” and he did not even invite me in before firmly closing the front door. As I walked back to my waiting driver I really understood that beauty is indeed in the eye of the beholder. Never again did I judge my appearance unfavorably if I was happy with myself but someone else was not.
Many obstacles hinder the formation of relationships. Society imposes restrictions against the mixing of individuals from different castes, for example, avoiding politician would be unlikely to publicly commit to someone who was a known drug addict and who presently engaged in drug using. Drug addiction is stigmatized. On an interpersonal level, people express disapproval. Perhaps society embraces a person but the potential in-laws do not like the person. A relationship may be killed before it has a chance to live life. Finally, within a person, shame can hinder the person from pursuing someone no one else objects to, but the individual is shamed of, I don’t know, dating someone so short (totally random adjective). Of course these categories overlap and combine to exert considerable separation pressure. But there is one thing that can overcome any obstacle to a relationship. In fact, without this element no relationship can happen. The element? Time. All time spent with another person is quality time. Enough time spent with another person, and it’s not only possible but probable, that people will forget that it is impossible to have feelings–and they will develop feelings. That’s why prisons, schools, hospitals, etc. need rules forbidding relationships no one on the outside believes can even form. It is little wonder that most escorts develop complex relationships with people they see regularly. The plot of Pretty Woman plays out all the time, only the people are far less wealthy and attractive. Also, the happy ever after ending is not so pat in real life when a man dubiously contemplates introducing his favorite prostitute to his family. Nevertheless friendships develop and marriages persevere. Households remain peaceful as long as the spouses have a “don’t ask don’t Tell” agreement. Best to let him do what he will with friends and strangers without paying too much distressing attention. Does this idea sound like a caveman talking? Perhaps. But truth is truth, no matter how unpalatable. Hmm…I am assuming people will find my words distasteful…Let is ponder that notion in the days ahead.
Yes, association with escorts can protect committed relationships by satisfying the male need for sex with new people. If a man is going to have sex with a non-profesional woman a certain amount of time must be invested to convince a woman that the man likes her on some level. A man does not need to like a woman to desire her sexually but a woman will not desire a man unless she thinks he does. In the course of spending time the man might actually develop feelings for the woman and the result is an affair. Since men do not have to spend time with escorts to reach his desired conclusion. Escorts are not motivated by feelings, and in this way they have something in common with most of the men who seek their services. Hence the chance of feelings developing is much less and men return to the relationship that matters, untouched emotionally.
Women do you think your relationship is in trouble because he looks at other women? Nothing could be further from the truth. After years of encounters with many men I have enough experience to qualify myself as an expert in human sexual relations. Take it from me, it is natural for men to look at every woman. Men look at women, and perhaps unconsciously, they judge women by a personal some sexual yardstick: yes, no, I would as long as no one found out, she looks kind of rough, etc…A man’s love for the woman he is committed to does not affect a man’s natural propensity to indulge his lower instincts and prowl–mentally. Men will always want to look at other women. It is a natural action and women should not fear her man’s imaginings. There is nothing a woman can do to change man’s nature. I make the drastic recommendation that women should encourage their men to be themselves. Ask him what he is thinking and try to figure out how you can indulge his fantasies. Thus, you can make yourself a part of his life in a way many women do not get to enjoy because they condemn men for being normal, animalistic males. Imagine his reaction if, instead of nagging him for looking at women, you pointed out attractive females. Try this and your relationship might change dramatically for the better.
November 16, 2017
That is what another working girl said to me a couple of years ago. I would have wanted to be friends with her but when she heard people call me smart and pretty she thought her business would suffer if I was around. She was always ready to undermine my hopes. I had met a nice truck over the weekend. For hours he just wanted me to watch hours of YouTube videos of fashion runway shows in my best outfit, my birthday suit. I liked him. He enjoyed my intelligence and I did not have to dumb down my language to look like an airhead and/or reassure him he was no airhead. I recounted my enjoyable and profitable Saturday night. Did she think I could have a friend in “J.”? One issue, when I expressed admiration for the physiques of running backs he agreed whole heartedly and added, “don’t they have the best asses in the world?” I joked with him that it was more than being a die hard Patriots fan that had him watching football in August. He appeared to be a bit homosexual but I wondered why he would have spent so much time with me. No he couldn’t be gay and I might have a new buddy who knew what I did and was cool with hanging out.
Cindy, my colleague, played her usual role of confidence underminer. No I did not have a friend in him. First of all you need to stop falling in love with the tricks. Second of all the homosexual inclination was obviously strong in him if he admitted his attraction. But all guys go there with the same sex. They start off experimenting as young teenagers. Whatever they did, like group masturbation, sometimes called a circle jerk, was never discussed aloud. Everyone knew but no one ever said. Sex and relationships with women and encounters with other men. Cindy said it was men’s way of showing themselves their need for women was minimal. Their secret acts made them feel powerful over women who did not know how truly temporary men’s desire was for women, expendable women. And if a man was peeking out of the closet where he hid his homosexuality by making a small remark as Jay had, well, that’s a man who probably had no relationship with a woman and did not want one. I felt deflated after we spoke bc I liked him. However I felt more intrigued about male homosexuality than ever before. All men? Willing to engage in secret acts all throughout their sex lives. It was time yo investigate. If there was a group of people u had access to it was men
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