Shared Wisdom from Street Life

Gabby Pettito linked article and how to test guys from the internet before meeting them

How do you know if a guy from the internet is dangerous

Warning signs of potentially dangerous internet friends/abusers exist. You can never know for sure what a person may do, especially when people hide the truth, even from themselves. However, people do not always hide themselves as well as they think. The pressure of feigning niceness can cause slips, like psychological leakage that manifests itself in angry actions towards women. These actions are not always blatant. They might look like bad manners. They are more than deviation from the code of politeness. If you perform the test I describe and get these results, call the whole thing off.

The 3 Part Test for a guy you’re about to meet

Meeting people online is how people get together today. There is no shame in it. Not like the early days of social media when it was believed only the desperate or con artists reached out to people remotely. But how can a lone woman tell if she is meeting friend or foe? Lover or loser? Soul mate or Psycho? There are some subtle tests that produce revealing answers:
1. CHANGE PLANS WITH LITTLE NOTICE. No, don’t be rude or unreasonable. But see what happens if he has to change course a bit and it is 100% your doing. Text him and ask him for an extra 19 minutes. Or ask him to meet on the nest block.As petty as it may seem, there are guys who won’t want to do something simply bc it is a woman telling them. The plan to meet can be seen as a joint effort, not her decision. But s change she dictates? Unthinkable to some men. I have seen men react to news of a 10 minute delay with obscenities, rage. One texted, “No b****” tells me what to do.” A rather extreme reaction, wouldn’t you say? Those guys who think it is reasonable to text a woman they’ve never meet with swear words or name calling are out. Another reason for changing plans is to be unpredictable, just a little. In case it is a set up, it is advisable to not emerge exactly when expected.
2. ARRIVE AT RENDEZVOUS POINT BEFORE HIM. Does he show up with other people, then take a position by himself, as if he is alone. Bad sign. 3. GIVE HIM AN INSTRUCTION. Difficult guys react badly to a “b****” telling them what to do and this is another way to uncover latent hostility. I was surprised at how many guys would not accept parking instructions. In addition to profanity and name calling, repeated Tweets are bad news like 17 in 10 minutes. People say this sounds paranoid

What looks like paranoia on an ordinary day, looks ridiculously trusting after something bad happens. “You mean, those were the only precautions she took when meeting strangers from the internet?” That what they would say if tragedy struck. Much of my good luck is the lack of crime in Hawaii. Moreover, someone who knows the assailant and/or the victim is likely to spot the meeting. Well, maybe not likely. But it would not be uncommon to encounter an acquaintance anywhere on the island. When you’re in a place where lots of people know your name, committing major violent crime would be like trying to assault someone in “Cheers,” (the tv bar “where everybody knows your name.”). Things are ineffably more dangerous in a place that is easy to exit and criminals can be anywhere on a vast continent within an hour. People are bolder when escape is easier and anonymity is practically guaranteed. These precautions might not be enough in the continental United States.

Criminal Records is problematic for people with checkered pasts is problematic for a person with a checkered past.  People have asked me why I “put myself out there” with my blog. After all, people do not know what you do not tell them, right? Wrong!  Do you remember the scene from Titanic when the survivors arrive in New York and the British heroine states the name of her choosing for the record. She becomes Rose Dawson as if she was the widow of her cruise ship lover. The better part of a century later she explains to the Titanic researchers and her granddaughter that she does not have a picture of him except in her memory. The researchers doubt her and challenge her recollections with the fact that there are no records of a Jack Dawson ever boarding Titanic. Of course not. Very few people had the fact that they existed memorialized and people from the lower classes were often not part of any official record because the authorities were accessible to the upper class only. Being born in a hospital that kept records of births was not something everyone could afford. There was no overarching “system” that kept records of your residences, your deeds or misdeeds, your death. The quality f the records depended moat of all on the specific people in charge of writing things down. If you wanted to change your present by giving yourself a new history (oxymoron), you simply offered an interested party a name of your choosing and voilá! You’re a new person. Today technology has made it impossible for people to keep themselves to themselves. Did you know there’s a service that gathers every use of your social security number during each calendar year to track your banking, employment, however you used your social security number. Many of the forms we are asked to fill out about our finances, for example, are used to test our honesty. Institutions do not need for us to give them the info they already possess. Similarly, our criminal records are right there for the public to see. If you find yourself paying for background searches online there’s a reason.

You are kidding yourself if you think no one will ever know your past

You can be certain you need to pay these services BC you lack the know how about gathering freely available records. It is not always easy to access free records. Hawaii’s system of recording court appearances in felony cases can be found on a site called ho’ohiki or e-court kokua, I forget exactly. Both sites have court records and both are decidedly user UN-friendly. Nevertheless records are there if you have the patience and luck to wade through the deck. And if you do the wading you will find that the new way the underclass exists is different from the normal we we nobodies disappeared into anonymity.  Criminal records make us part of the overarching record keeping system. It takes money not to have a criminal record when you break the law.

Rich, White, or Law Abiding

As a wealthy person you get a lot of favor in the legal system from the word “go.” Maybe you never get arrested. My friend who died? He had the same last name as the family that owns the Hawaiian island Ni’ihau. When he was pulled over for drunk driving the cops had to make doubly sure he was not from that family BC if he was they were most definitely not arresting him. Once they ascertained his status, or lack thereof, he was summarily detained. If people know who you are, they don’t want to make powerful enemies or better yet, they want someone who can do them some good to owe them, big time. If they do enter the criminal justice system, they can get the lawyers to find them “programs” once the doctors on their payroll reclassify their criminality as sickness and not badness. Worst case scenario, they get convicted of something on the record–what then? Anyone who has done anything can ask the governor for a pardon after they pay hefty fees, and, again, hire the legal dream team to do whatever needs doing to get a governor’s favor. There are two ways for people like me to not be in this position. Be rich or keep it legal. Well three ways. White people are more likely to be given the favor rich people receive. Cops let them go. Judges don’t want to ruin their lives with convictions, probation officers don’t want to send them to prison when they mess up. Yes, I have seen it and I will say more on this later. To avoid my

Dating Sites Mature Women Mortality Red Flags

An Ex-Sex Worker Says Put Your Age Out There and Don’t Lie About It

Old Fashioned Manners—Lie

When I was growing up I was taught that you never ask a woman her age. It was also considered standard for a woman to lie about her age and make herself younger. Certainly she was never going to claim an age over the age of 29, and even 29 was getting up there. But I learned the hard way that lying about my age was not a good thing. First of all when the person met me he immediately thought I looked really bad for my age. I simply was not 29 anymore. And the other issue was that age is often a dealbreaker for people when they are looking to meet someone. No point in making arrangements with someone adamant about only meeting someone under 30. Time to get honest with self: No I cannot pass for 29!

Serenity Prayer in Action

To take it one step further, I won’t stay young and I won’t live forever. At the root of aging frustration is mortality horror. If I cannot accept the reality of my life how can I expect someone else to accept the real me? How accepting am I likely to be of another person’s imperfections ? Not very! Lying about my age shows I am embracing insecurity and intolerance rather than trying to grow. I also show I lack the wisdom to “accept the things I cannot change,” as the Serenity Prayer says. To be blunt, it’s a red flag that “this lady has issues” and I am anything but serene.

P.S. to avoid that look of unhappy surprise the guy from the dating site tries to hide when he gets his first glimpse of you, beware boudoir pix. It’s fun to post them and technically, it’s honestly representative of a moment in your life. You know the flattering professional photo with you in lingerie, holding your breath so your stomach looks flat, your face tilted up to disguise a faint double chin? That picture with a ton of make make up to give you the natural look, skillfully lit and totally filtered—it is not doing you any favors! If the guy doesn’t care overly much about looks, it won’t matter. But if Beauty is a deal breaker he will communicate his disappointment, often with his feet as he turns around and heads back out the door. Ask me how I know.

You know the flattering filtered professional photo with you awash in soft, ambient light, wearing lingerie too small to clasp in back, holding your breath so your stomach looks flat, your face tilted up to disguise your faint double chin? Be warned: Use only sparingly on dating sites. Lol.

Caroleena, the expert escort

Elaborate photo filters are fun. I certainly enjoy seeing the beauty I would be if I actually looked like the woman in the pictures. But if I am honest with myself, there are enough differences between the filtered image and the real me to make the real me lose out in a side by side comparison of the filtered pic vs. me in the flesh. Guys noticed the difference when we met. Some commented on the difference and I did not enjoy those discussions one bit. Of course, those conversations were with the guys willing to meet me in spite of less than above board advertising. I have been told by men that many guys are wary when a woman posts pictures that are recognizably filtered They think: “she must have ‘a great personality.’” Those guys never call in the first place.

Summary: the fallacy of false advertising on dating sites.

Filtered pictures of a mythical you deter shallow guys, disappoint guys who came to check you out, and don’t matter to guys who aren’t hung up on looks in the first place. Don’t bother minimizing your age and maximizing the way you wished you look. The illusion dies hard.

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A sex worker’s client emailed her for advice about contributing to Hookr Yelp during Covid

August 08, 2020

An associate of mine is contributing to the blog by sharing an anonymous email she received August 2020. In the study of history this email would be known as a primary document. You are not reading stuff written by people who study history. I’m giving you true history. Note the indicators of this point in time such as the use of dating sites, COVID, the option to leave an online review


Yesterday I had a session with a lady I’ve never met before. Her ad does not show her face and it seems like the pictures of her body were taken 10 years ago when she was much thinner. I met her at her place which was on a third floor apartment in a condominium. In order to meet her, I had to drive to a fish restaurant in [*** *******] and then call her whereupon she gave me directions to her location. When I finally got there all she wanted to do is talk. Apparently she researched me because when I called her, I guess my name appears on her caller ID. That spooked me because I don’t really like the idea of someone knowing my real name. Do you know my real name? Maybe I should get a separate phone under a fake name.
Unfortunately, she was not a sexy person in my opinion. She was a bit overweight and was not a very playful type of person. My *** did not jump to attention at the thought of having sex with her She did let me take a shower and was lying naked on the bed when I finished. Although I did [****deleted due to graphic nature of the sentence***] she had eschewed kissing during the COVID-19 pandemic. All-in-all I did not really enjoy my session all that much and will not go back to see her again.
At this point I am pondering what I should do? Should I post a negative review of her on [***] (its back up and running again). Should I write her a thank you note and tell here how I actually feel? Or, should I just move on and not do anything?

Given the options he presented, what should he do? What would you do? Something he never considered?

Thank you for spending part of your life here with me. I am honored and humbled by this generosity with your time!🌺🇺🇸

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Beat Photo Recognition, An Example

Make your selfie a cartoon and software

Will report “No face detected”

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True Words, Secretly Recorded: A Childhood in the Drug World—An Anonymous Woman Talks about Childhood in Crime

August 19, 2020

  • HarvardxhookrinHI, from x-street walker to sex talker

Ethical Issues: People don’t know they are recorded while they are speaking. They do give permission after the fact for this blog to feature their words. Anonymity is mandatory. In order to humanize people I know I would have crossed the street to avoid, they need to be totally unselfconscious.

People feel free to speak to someone who they feel lacks the status to judge them. At first, this may seem insulting but on a deeper level, people feel safe, safe from being judged. I can hear things they’d never tell anyone. It doesn’t matter if I haven’t been downtown in a decade or more. That’s how they remember me. I want to make that dubious claim to fame an inducement to talk truth. What a great gift I can give and what a great gift I have received.

If I did not know the identity of the speaker I would not know who was giving this exclusive inside view into a childhood in crime. She felt confident that her anonymity is safe. I will share this video on YouTube and provide the link. Thanks for listening!

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Money and Status: Old Money, New Money Vs. Quiet Money

Hiding what’s most valuable is sometimes the safest thing. Sure you might want to say, “hey everyone this is me and this is what I’m working with!” but like this anonymous pic, you might have something beautiful or valuable that’s not necessarily associated with you bc it may be best not to let people know everything.

There’s old money, there’s new money and then there’s quiet money. Old money and new money are designations people give to other people’s wealth and the titles indicate the judgement people place on how you got your wealth. Quiet money is money no one knows about. People can’t judge you based on what they believe you have and how they believe you got it. And most importantly, quiet money is safe money since no one knows you have it. They can’t try to steal it from you or ask you for it. If you don’t hunger for people to know what you’ve got, and what you could have, do what you can to hide your wealth. It’s ok to go so far as to be deceptive about your money. Wealth based status puts a target on your back.