Late Life Lessons Unforseeable effects of long-term addiction

Addiction caused me to miss basic life lessons in adulting, like car ownership skills

During my young adulthood the only thing I knew about cars was to try to catch the eye of the driver to see if he would stop for me. Cars were what I looked at when I was looking for someone who was looking for me. And oh yes, the four police stings I was involved with in downtown Honolulu began with me getting into a vehicle that was driven by an undercover police officer while other officers watched and followed us. Twice I escaped arrest, twice I did not. I learned much from these experiences and I am sharing those fascinating times from Honolulu at the turn if the 21st century. However, none of those adventures taught me anything about being a grown-up who owns a car (legally!). This is what happened today:

This is my Google Review posted Friday September 18, 2021

I went to Servco Toyota because this is the first time I have ever owned a vehicle and I do not know all the little insider bits of wisdom a person accumulates through experience. I thought the dealership would be the most legit, it would have the parts, and be competitively priced. When I told people my reasoning they laughed. ” Don’t you know the dealership is the most expensive? If you’re under warranty it is fine but if not don’t go there.” Another person said, “I go to Servco for maintenance, Lex Brody for brakes and tires, and I found place on Queen Street for Toyota.” I hoped they were wrong. I dealt with Vince who was very nice. He even waited to see if I was coming to pick up my car but exigent circumstances prevented me from picking it up the same day. I was able to leave or overnight for free. I suppose it should have been free sine they did not do anything. The parts were not in stock and it will take 7-10 days to receive them. What was this $140 bill paying for? The response: diagnosis. That was the cost for them to look at the car and tell me what I had told them when I brought the car to them in the first place. I paid $140 for nothing. Does everyone get treated this way? My paranoia is kicking in and I feel I must disclose to you, my valued readers, that I tend to be unreasonably suspicious and feel insulted over nothing. But that does not make me wrong when I think I detect a rip off. Or does it? Is it reasonable to pay $140 just to have the car looked at? Another friend concluded: “that’s why you support your local businesses, not the big national chain stores. Cross your fingers snd hope the neighborhood mechanic is not a tweeker. You should be able to get a much better deal from a local mechanic who is not on the pipe.”

Late Lessons from this experience

Whenever you are choosing to do something you are choosing not to do something else. I said “yes” to drugs and “no” to adult behavior that involves the acquisition, maintenance, and storage of things like cars. I am over 35 (this is not a math lesson, I will not say how many years stand between 35 and me). I own my first car. Here is what I did not know:

1. Mistakes like parking too close to something, are easy to make, easy to repeat, and get expensive quickly.

2. I knew people would want to use me for rides but I did not expect the persistent efforts to separate me from my car, permanently.

3. If parking is scarce, expensive, far from home, or unsafe, you might decide the problems outweigh the benefits. If you decide to keep the car new heretofore unknown pressure will become part of your lifestyle. Examples of pressure include but are not limited to: the stress of worrying about your car, or the anxiety about oversleeping and the car getting towed from street parking at 6:30 a.m.

4. People do not like to see you make progress. Not all people of course, but more than I would have imagined. Even if what they have is better, they resent you for getting a 16 year old used car with 170.000 miles. The will do everything from look the other way when the car is vandalized, to vandalizing it themselves.

5. People who let me know they need a car will get angry with me for not giving them the car–for free. I know more than my fair share of criminals who would rather take the car (or whatever) from me at no cost to themselves. This is true even if I was willing to work out a shared arrangement.

6. Because you never owned anything, experiences that are my Dane for others will produce feelings if joy and triumph and you will be constantly reminded of how far you’ve come in spite if the sabotaging efforts if others–and self! Every time you change lanes you will feel like a kid on Christmas and you might say aloud, in an empty car, “Caroleena on the go!” And you’ll laugh.

Addiction and Prostitution in Hawaii

Working girls and $ from certain men

Relationship based financial assistance is wonderful. So much better than favor based financial assistance. When you receive payment for doing something, well, that is necessarily limited to the action–and how long the person wants to receive the favor from you. In my experience people never pay for favors ahead of time. After all, who is to say the person will want you, out of everyone, to do the job. I have relationship based financial assistance. Every working girl I have spoken to on the subject has told me she has had one or more guys who helped her out with money. Because she needed it. Not because she had done a specific thing for which she was receiving a specific amount of money. I would never have thought such a thing was possible. It is not even like Pretty Woman, the movie, because if you recall, in the beginning she was paid for favors. No, this is better bc this is closer to…affection. I have had two guys help me like that. The first I met when I first rescued a tiny baby kitten. He was a cat lover and offered to give me and the wee kitten a ride to the Humane Society to have the kitten’s rash examined. When we arrived we were summarily ordered to get out bc the kitten was obviously infested with parasites and we were not to return unless the kitten had vet treatment. Embarrassed, the guy said “I will pay for it,” as I bundled the kitten and fled. From then on he showed up every week to drop $200 for the kitten’s upkeep. Even after her scabies were cured he kept delivering money, sometimes more if I asked. This went on for over a year until one day he said he was getting out of the hobby and wouldn’t be coming by. I was not too surprised bc sometimes when he dropped off money he looked like he wanted to get away fast. That was the thing about this kind of support, the relationship kind. People move on. True for everyone but especially true with a man who cannot acknowledge you in public. The second guy, that was emergency based requests. Not many, but he was definitely there and he gave without hedging or guilt tripping. Technically, I suppose he would still be there. But better not to ask and assume the answer would be yes. Like the cat in a box with a vial of poison. As long as you do not open the box to limit yourself to the knowledge of what is, you can always believe the cat is alive though you know it could be dead. In some cases it is best not to know what is while you enjoy the possibility of what could be. That’s what it is like depending on relationships when such dependence is scary bc you have mostly been ineligible (apparently) for commitment. Tenuous hope best maintained by not pushing it. While being grateful you have even that much.

unlikely relationships

From Trick to Friend, loneliness motivates me to make the change

Attraction not Promotion

AA does not advertise. Meetings don’t recruit members. People look for meetings. I have always maintained that philosophy with clients. I shouldn’t say always. I experimented with reaching out to people who had posted about me on a discussion site. I was instantly branded a weirdo and people told each other they had blocked me

I never reached out to strangers again. But as for the people I have known for years, I do contact them first. When something good or new or exciting happens you want to tell someone and I have no friends or family. I have a couple of people I call. How pitiful is it that the only people I can turn to as friends could never admit to knowing me. It is sad. But having no one at all is worse. I have learned when it comes to relationships I need to be grateful for what I get.

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Good news Coronavirus Tweet from 🇯🇲 EMPRESS 🇯🇲 (@EmpressSapph) w/ 30 second video

🇯🇲 EMPRESS 🇯🇲 (@EmpressSapph) Tweeted: Here is my Granddad leaving the hospital after 2 weeks! He had tested positive for COVID-19 then ended up having Pneumonia. The drs said he was ‘deteriorating’ and the next 24hrs are ‘critical’ but God! My Granddad is 84 years old and has beaten COVID-19. Thank you NHS Staff

Escort Answers HIV HIV Test

HIV Negative–the good old days begin today

I took an HIV test yesterday like every responsible citizen should. No matter how much I complained about my life, I knew that if the HIV test I took had been positive, this time of life that is so troubling to me, would seem like the good old days when everything was alright. My life would have been divided into before and after. I think there is no more positive use for the word “negative” than when it is juxtaposed with those powerful three letters. HIV NEGATIVE–Yes!! Now let’s make something of this life.