Categories
Shared Wisdom from Street Life

Gabby Pettito linked article and how to test guys from the internet before meeting them

https://www.newsbreakapp.com/n/0c7sPtr9?share_id=eyJ1c2VyaWQiOjE1OTgzNzAwNiwiZG9jX2lkIjoiMGM3c1B0cjkiLCJ0aW1lc3RhbXAiOjE2MzM0NTgyOTgwNjR9&s=a7&pd=0AoeuE7z&hl=en_US.

How do you know if a guy from the internet is dangerous

Warning signs of potentially dangerous internet friends/abusers exist. You can never know for sure what a person may do, especially when people hide the truth, even from themselves. However, people do not always hide themselves as well as they think. The pressure of feigning niceness can cause slips, like psychological leakage that manifests itself in angry actions towards women. These actions are not always blatant. They might look like bad manners. They are more than deviation from the code of politeness. If you perform the test I describe and get these results, call the whole thing off.

The 3 Part Test for a guy you’re about to meet

Meeting people online is how people get together today. There is no shame in it. Not like the early days of social media when it was believed only the desperate or con artists reached out to people remotely. But how can a lone woman tell if she is meeting friend or foe? Lover or loser? Soul mate or Psycho? There are some subtle tests that produce revealing answers:
1. CHANGE PLANS WITH LITTLE NOTICE. No, don’t be rude or unreasonable. But see what happens if he has to change course a bit and it is 100% your doing. Text him and ask him for an extra 19 minutes. Or ask him to meet on the nest block.As petty as it may seem, there are guys who won’t want to do something simply bc it is a woman telling them. The plan to meet can be seen as a joint effort, not her decision. But s change she dictates? Unthinkable to some men. I have seen men react to news of a 10 minute delay with obscenities, rage. One texted, “No b****” tells me what to do.” A rather extreme reaction, wouldn’t you say? Those guys who think it is reasonable to text a woman they’ve never meet with swear words or name calling are out. Another reason for changing plans is to be unpredictable, just a little. In case it is a set up, it is advisable to not emerge exactly when expected.
2. ARRIVE AT RENDEZVOUS POINT BEFORE HIM. Does he show up with other people, then take a position by himself, as if he is alone. Bad sign. 3. GIVE HIM AN INSTRUCTION. Difficult guys react badly to a “b****” telling them what to do and this is another way to uncover latent hostility. I was surprised at how many guys would not accept parking instructions. In addition to profanity and name calling, repeated Tweets are bad news like 17 in 10 minutes. People say this sounds paranoid

What looks like paranoia on an ordinary day, looks ridiculously trusting after something bad happens. “You mean, those were the only precautions she took when meeting strangers from the internet?” That what they would say if tragedy struck. Much of my good luck is the lack of crime in Hawaii. Moreover, someone who knows the assailant and/or the victim is likely to spot the meeting. Well, maybe not likely. But it would not be uncommon to encounter an acquaintance anywhere on the island. When you’re in a place where lots of people know your name, committing major violent crime would be like trying to assault someone in “Cheers,” (the tv bar “where everybody knows your name.”). Things are ineffably more dangerous in a place that is easy to exit and criminals can be anywhere on a vast continent within an hour. People are bolder when escape is easier and anonymity is practically guaranteed. These precautions might not be enough in the continental United States.

Categories
Harm Reduction in Honolulu

Honolulu community outreach workers give advice to avoid celeb-style overdoses. See link

Michael K. Williams died of accidental overdose that included fentanyl, cocaine https://www.newsbreakapp.com/n/0c7BtMBR?&share_destination_id=MTU5ODM3MDA2LTE2MzI2MDQwNjgzNDQ=&s=a99&pd=0AoeuE7z&hl=en_US

In Honolulu “Harm Reduction” is the controversial policy


Harm Reduction concedes the impossibility of harm prevention

According to my inexpert understanding, “Harm Reduction” is a policy based upon the theory that people are going to do what they want no matter the danger, no matter the educational efforts, no matter how bad it is for them. No one knows why people do things they know will hurt them–why do we start in the first place and why don’t we stop? Even if we do stop why is it so very difficult? What we know is people engage in behavior that is pleasurable but risky, as d when continued changes from merely pleasurable to compulsive and destructive. We cannot stop people. Therefore society might as well help them do what they do safely bc bad outcomes in one segment of society will effect everyone. One controversial point is: harm Reduction is not the same as encouraging people to do something, but accepting the inevitable reality of free will being the most important factor in behavior. What does this policy look like in action?

It means teaching teens how to obtain birth control bc no matter what anyone says they will not all be abstinent until marriage (is anyone?).

Honolulu Harm Reduction

In Honolulu Harm Reduction means stationing outreach workers in a van downtown on most weekdays for the purposes of exchanging, but NOT, distributing clean needles to iv drug users, giving away free condoms, passing out informational pamphlets, etc…. Everyone thought diseases like AIDS would stay confined to the population that did things society opposes–promiscuous gay sex, shooting dope, prostitution. But AIDS did not only target the “bad” people. It turned out, to everyone’s genuine surprise, that people do t necessarily have complete double lives. Sometimes they just dabble in something. They step into the scene then step out, real quick, so they are barely there. They are not full time gay, they are men, who now and again, pick up a transgender sex worker. No one would ever guess that the forbidden thing that almost never happens is actually the norm. Hence, diseases that are spread by doing something, whether it is once or as a lifestyle, these diseases travel from “them” to “us.” We don’t care about them–let the addicts kill themselves. But we care about ourselves, and it turns out we have addicts in our midst, or we engage with addicts working the street now and then. Disease outed people more than any shift in society’s attitude could have.

No one would ever guess that the forbidden thing that almost no one sees going on is actually the norm. Plenty of publicly “normal” people do the “abnormal” just a little , privately. I write this blog to show people they are not alone.

Caroleena’s purpose for the blog as it relates to harm Reduction.

People Use drugs alone–and die

Because if the stigma attached to using drugs, people do it in secret. If they overdose these us no one there to help them. They die needlessly. Articles about celeb drug overdoses, like the one linked to this post, do not say if the person was aline but they must have been bc there is always a mystery about why they were found dead. Later, the truth, or what we are told us true, us revealed. In Honolulu outreach workers have a stated goal if getting the anti overdose drug to as many people as possible, users or not. If anyone happens upon a scene where someone has collapsed and us not breathing, a good Samaritan can administer the drug as a nasal spray and simply save a life. Certainly the people hanging out with users can do the same.

Don’t use drugs alone.

Honolulu Community Outreach workers

The controversial summary: people will use drugs no matter what. Surprisingly, everyone is affected because disease does not stay within a boundary. What’s more, you might think you don’t know anyone who goes to sex workers (fir one example). Little do you know, you are probably wring, many times over. Caring about “them” means caring about ourselves.

Do I believe all if this? Would I say, rapists are going to rape anyway. We might as well help them pack a quality rape kit (the name of the supplies assailants carry with them) so that the plastic ties are not too abrasive to the skin of the person bound and gagged. What about giving burglars gloves to keep them from being cut when they break glass to force their way into a house or car? Are these extreme examples very different from giving condoms to middle schoolers? We could not do this bc harm prevention us, kind if, saying, we approve, albeit reluctantly. We would not give the arsonists fire proof gear so he can escape unburned. Would we? There are no easy answers, except one: Harm Reduction really does reduce harm.

Do we want that?

Categories
Financial assistance

Occasionally a working girl gets a sponsor

https://expertescort2018.com/2021/09/01/working-girls-and-from-certain-men/

Categories
Social difficulties, diversity

Hawaii tops the United States in Diversity , see link, but that does not help me

https://www.newsbreakapp.com/n/0bcvqXTo?share_id=eyJ1c2VyaWQiOjE1OTgzNzAwNiwiZG9jX2lkIjoiMGJjdnFYVG8iLCJ0aW1lc3RhbXAiOjE2MzAxODEwNjEyMjN9&s=a7&pd=0AoeuE7z&hl=en_US

It is official Hawaii is one of the most diverse places in the United States. We have many different Asians. Unlike the New York of my childhood, people here know there is a difference between Chinese and Japanese.

During my youth I was the one black kid in the gifted and talented class and it was awkward and uncomfortable. My inability to be anything but awkward and uncomfortable in social situations made my one of a kind status more difficult. Irony of ironies is that in Honolulu I am still one of a kind far too often. There are no black areas here in Hawaii. It is not unusual for people who have never travelled to never meet a black person. All people know about black people are what they have heard and evidently they have not heard good things. In the most diverse county I am still by myself in terms of the census. But if I were Asian or white I would fit right in, on a surface level. My personal life would still suffer from my poor social skills but at least strangers wouldn’t do a discreet double take when I walk in. The only reason you think I am exaggerating is you’ve never been me.

Categories
Addiction and Prostitution downtown Honolulu Secret sex Street life

A real text message from an exhausted player on Honolulu’s streets

I wondered what had happened to the woman mi had planned to interview

I walked back to town from St. Francis Hospital all the way up Liliha Street. I didn’t forget we were supposed to meet. I wanted to see who was around and I still had stuff I bought with me. I ended up going with some guy but it’s harder to find a spot in the day so we had to go to a parking garage with no cameras or security. It took so long to get there in all the trafficI figured he must have money but he did not have much.

Then he was rushing me to get out bc he has lots of family who know his truck and I get all flustered when I’m rushed. Left the clothes I bought in the guy’s car so I pretty much worked for almost nothing when you subtract the price of the clothes from what he gave me. Walked aaallll the way back in the heat. To my surprise he was waiting for me on Kukui Street but Safeway where he picked me up. He was there to give me my stuff. Im glad I did not rob him after all. BC I was totally beating myself up as I walked back to town.  I should have grabbed something out of the back seat. That’s what I was thinking walking on the freeway overpass by School Street. I guess It is good i didn’t. Then again he was obviously lying about not being able to go back to where we met. He just didn’t have any more use for me I don’t owe him for bringing back my stuff NC it is his fault I left it. We are even. I don’t care what he said about next time. Sorry I missed you. You know how it is.

Categories
Embarrassing secrets Self Analysis

Prison in Hawaii Showed me the real me in how I coped

I was in prison in Honolulu, Hawaii during the early years if the 21st century. Life behind bars challenges you because you have no stress. Stress can be a good thing when it is in the form of challenges you have the power to conquer. Stress is harmful when you are powerless to control your situation. Of course, you are powerless to free yourself, that is the big picture. Our lives are full when we have lots of “small picture” challenges. We have no obstacles In prison. All of our basic physical needs were met in a no frills fashion. There is nothing we have to do to survive. There’s just a vast nothingness between the present and our release date. Boredom due to the lack of stimulation is soul crushing. Imagine being stuck at the first level of a video game forever. We move on to the next level BC we want to introduce moderate stressors into our environment. In prison we could spend all day staring into space and we will still be fed, sheltered, clothed. Little was required of us inmates in Honolulu’s only prison facility for women. Prison is for people who have been sentenced to over a year incarceration for their crime (s), whereas jail is at the county level, or island level if you are in the Hawaiian archipelago. Each island has a jail for both men and women. Jail is for people who are sentenced to less than a year, along with people who are legally innocent but cannot make bail. Prison is place where people stay awhile and have to figure out how to deal with what cannot be changed. Unlike other prisons, no one at the island of Oahu’s women’s prison, the Women’s Community Correctional Center (pronounced Double U triple C) was required to work or take the very few classes the prison offered. Little was required beyond standing for headcount nine times a day. When you are overwhelmed with stuff to do as a free person, you imagine how nice it would be not to be stressed out all the time. In reality, when you get to the place where there is nothing to do, you could slit your wrists from desperate boredom. If we women were to have any stimulation we had to make our own fun. When I was in prison for 20 months I reminded myself that “bored people are boring.” I created writing projects by interviewing the other women about the circumstances that brought them to be with me in prison. I offered my services as an educated woman and former middle school teacher by teaching GED classes. I helped the other women with their paperwork/grievances and did not ask them to give me a portion of their commissary. I re-read some classics, and found new faves. I reinforced my love for “To Kill a Mockingbird,” and discovered “Gone With the Wind.” Both books were so great I experienced a bit of mourning when I finished them.

Prison in paradise hides a woman from the world but it reveals her to herself. Expert escort 2018 dot com slash prison

Another copng strategy was to constantly look for any injustice committed by staff, or mistake on their part. I pounced on the misdeed with written grievances and once, a lawsuit, determined to right the wrong for myself and the women who would come after me. The corrupt prison system provided me with endless battles to wage. I had a reason to get out if my bunk, leaving the hard plastic mattress-type pallet behind for a spot at a stainless steel table and stool. The weapons of my warfare were scattered around me on the table top—law books, paper, pencils. The familiar items gave me comfort.

I wanted to improve conditions. This motivation was genuine, but it was only part of what drove me.

I was bored.

Moreover, I was ashamed of wasting the education that college classmates said I only received BC of affirmative action. I hated myself for proving that every resource it took to allow me to earn my prestigious degree were resources best used on someone else. I was desperate to demonstrate that I had belonged at Harvard, no matter how grim my present circumstances. I called myself an inmate advocate to show a world that was not paying attention, that I could still use the gifts other black people had died to give me. Besides I had a mean streak a mile wide that I liked to express. I became a bully the only way a friendless nerd can—the mighty pen. My personality was an odd mixture of bitterness, negativity, a tendency to complain without ceasing and a heart to help anyone who needed assistance without losing patience and without mentioning what I had done for them. I never understood the mystery of how to get along with others and I am sure people would be surprised to know as disagreeable as I was a lit of the time, I pined for friends. Perhaps my good qualities kept me from making enemies but they were not strong enough to outweigh my unfavorable traits. I was as alone as I had always been, be it Harvard or handcuffed. People did not seem to hate me or love me. Even in prison I was forgotten by my peers and clung to my novels as I had in middle and high school. My life in prison was defined by anger, boredom, and obsessive focus on solitary projects of my creation, especially writing and exercise. Other women occupied themselves with new same-sex relationships. (I never had a girlfriend. Maybe lesbians also found me unattractive. I am not gay but the occasional flirtation would have broken up the monotony!) My coping methods to deal with life behind bars looked different from my fellow inmates but underlying my incarceration-activities-of-daily-living were the same pain, shame and isolation from which everyone suffered.

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comments unpopular opinions

Reader Comment on Hawaii Racism Post

Comment

Here in the states we have:
1. White police officers killing while resistors.
2. Black police officers killing black resisters.
3. Black police officers killing white resisters.
4. White police officers killing black apparent resisters.

The only one that get’s BLM’s attention is #4.

I think many police departments are infested with racially biased white males who are simply white supremacist’s and believe it is their duty and obligation to take severe action against black people because they can’t be trusted. This is a shame and must be addressed.

Author Feedback

I appreciate the comment and I agree. I support posting unpopular but necessary views. The post in question got me permanently banned from the r/Hawaii Reddit community. I do not know why. I pointed out that racism is very much present in Hawaii but it is not fatal like it can be in the continental U.S. Domestic violence against women is more of a problem here, in terms of threatening safety. People hated those words..? Yes, I will post unpopular opinions even If I disagree as long as no one means to be offensive.

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#expertescort2018.com #LinkstoMyBlog Addiction and Prostitution Alienation Comfort Zone coping skills Fear of Rejection Honolulu Insecurity Recovery Rejection Social Anxiety Street life

The Fear of Rejection Is a Motivating Factor for both sex worker and client. (Inspiration Post: Fear of Rejection: 3 Simple Tips to Overcome)

https://harvardxhookrinhi.wordpress.com/2021/03/25/prostitution-can-be-a-subconscious-solution-to-social-anxiety/

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#expertescort2018.com #LinkstoMyBlog Twitter Link

Career’s a challenge when your alma maters are Harvard and Prison, esp for ex-sex workers. See Linked Tweet

Tweet thread by an executive getting ex-offenders hired: https://twitter.com/jessicamckellar/status/1311349439479463937?s=21

How can I get hired out of prison?

When I was doing prison time for possessing a pill (true story) I read a book about how an inmate can reconceptualize her crimes to show off the characteristics of a person who committed certain acts. A thief is goal oriented. A murderer is a self starter. I found it amusing and more than a bit deceptive, but it was not wrong. Add to that book my knowledge that at a top drug treatment program here in Hawaii called Habilitation, the leadership has their mugshots up on a wall to use them as proof of change. It’s all in how you look at it. As Shakespeare said, there’s nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.

The linked Tweet is about a violent offender, but ex sex workers have it harder

In Hawaii, an employer can disqualify a person from a job if the offense is related to the position. I have found that there is nothing as stigmatized as prostitution. Little did I know that people interpret that offense as predatory in nature and do not take into account that it was a means to get money for drugs. Instead I was viewed as a would-be husband stealer. Men who were alone in a room with me were roundly scolded for being near someone like me. It is only with the passage of time that the petty misdemeanor no longer appears on standard background checks.

COVID IS PROBLEMATIC

Anyone in a weaker position will be hit harder by difficulties than others. The sapling cannot outcompete the oak tree in withstanding wind rain, drought, etc…I always wondered why by every measure black people come out worse. More susceptible to this, less likely to achieve that…Then I figured it out. Inmates, who are a truly racially diverse population among incarcerated women in Hawaii, are the same way. A job shortage hits hard. In my view, our #1 industry in Hawaii is tourism, #2 is military, and #3 has to be government. We have no tourism and felons are locked out of the military and government jobs. Lots of people were saved by the pandemic Assistance and eviction moratorium. This election will be crucial. Benefits run out December 26, 2020. Then , who knows?

I Don’t Mind Being an Ex-offender Bc I know I Can Use It

Being an ex-offender is having membership in the only group that will include me when they speak of “people like us.” I just wish I could parlay my background into financial success! How can I get to the place where my mug shot can profit me?

Copied Link

https://harvardxhookrinhi.wordpress.com/2020/10/01/as-a-harvard-elite-on-the-streets-my-alma-maters-are-the-ivy-league-and-hawaii-correctional-institutions-and-thats-interesting/?preview=true&frame-nonce=a24c43b964

  • I am a hypocrite. I was the last to know.
    I was about to write a scathingly critical review of an article I read when a “Eureka!” moment. That’s not to say the article wasn’t ridiculous bc it was. First of all the title implies we are about to find out something racist someone of importance said about Meghan Markle’s royal baby. By American cultural […]
  • Cold Turkey Sobriety Can KILL–One Surprising Thing in linked article y
    I Never Knew It is always interesting to me how real life differs from preconceived notions. Each time my imagination is off the mark I am reminded of my need to remind myself that I don’t always know what I am talking about and that ignorance might be deadly. For example, I thought quitting–anything–was difficult […]
  • Find a grave is a site that sells mug so why can’t I?
    If findagrave.com can have an online store and cemetery gift shop of sorts I can certainly design a t shirt and mug for Hawaii street life hacks.
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#expertescort2018.com Misogyny Research

Certain Men Don’t Hit Women

When I worked in the sex industry I spent a lot more time than I ever would have imagined talking to clients. Come to think of it, in terms of minutes, if one were to count, I spent more time talking to clients than doing anything else. Surprised me, that was for sure. If there were no time constraints, it would not have been unusual for me to hang out for an hour or two. One reason for conversations that exposed me to attitudes from a geographically diverse group of guys was my true interest in seizing the opportunity to get to know people from all over the country. Hawaii was a tourist Mecca, before the pandemic, with 30,000 (!) people flying in daily. Whenever I found myself comfortably conversant with a client in his hotel room, I’d inquire about his thought patterns. (This practice also fed my delusion that I was doing anthropological research, not hooking. Lol.). Without exception, no matter where the man was from, when I asked a man why he respected women, if he had voiced this practice, I heard versions of the same influence:

My dad always said never put your hands on a woman. I always think of my mother, sister, aunt, or some other female relative, and I would not want anyone to hurt her.

The underlying reason men who don’t hit women remain nonviolent.

Father’s genuine good example + Favorable view of female relative = A Man Who Does Not Hit Women

Dad’s actions+ Opinion of Mom= Formula for Determining How a man treats women

Note: men always noted explicit lessons. In other words, dad spoke on the issue of misogyny in addition to leading by example. By the way, parental lessons are also influential in determining racist attitudes, according to my non-scientific research.

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#LinkstoMyBlog Health

NOT JUST THE RICH, Link :Rich People Are Learning That a Pandemic Is the Ideal Time to Get *All* the Cosmetic Treatments

News, email and search are just the beginning. Discover more every day. Find your yodel.
— Read on www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/rich-people-learning-pandemic-ideal-150000129.html

Plastic Surgery Not Just Indulgence

Sure, I had a breast augmentation. It turned out great and years later I am still delighted with results. That procedure was totally optional. But plastic surgeons and, for me, the dentist, fix problems some might call cosmetic but the problems significantly impact life. I-received treatment facial dark marks that have been the bane of my existence. Also, the front tooth that was broken in an accident ten years ago was permanently repaired and capped. A root canal, a porcelain cap! My beloved dentist earned the Thousands of dollars that I had in a lump sum thanks to the stimulus.

You do know that any infection from the neck up can be fatal? I could not afford the expensive procedures. I got dental parch jobs that sloppily kind of tided me over until things changed. Things changed. The money came in and I asked myself, what is most important? Health! I applied the funds accordingly. I am so grateful.

Here in Hawaii we used to have something like 30,000 people flying in and out daily. Now flights transport under 1000 people. The difference is visible because the attractions are empty. Our OVID-19 case numbers and percentage of positive results have both increased. For the first time we had two days of triple digit new cases. The pot engage of people who test positive is up fro around 1% to about 5-6%. Significant, absolutely. If the trend continues we will end up like other places: we will actually see and experience illness in our lives. For the most part we have not. It is still difficult to find anyone who knows anyone who has tested positive.

At this point in time, during the first stimulus, many of us lost our jobs but were given much more than we were making. No one is sick. The wisest among us used our windfall for our betterment. We have gotten dental work, plastic surgery, and saved/invested. We are not broke. Others went to the game rooms and you know how gambling ends. Visible disease happened elsewhere while we had the protection of geographical quarantine.

I am worried about what could happen. The feds are not sending the money any more. Covid-19 Cases are rising in number. Tourism, our economy, is still closed. I knew these days would come though I still hope we can escape the ravages of society wide disease. I will not be able to afford the tummy tuck, I hope that is the worst of my problems for the rest of 2020.

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#expertescort2018.com #LinkstoMyBlog

Watch “Racist Attack Caught on Film +Unpunished” on YouTube

Watch “Racist Attack Caught on Film +Unpunished” on YouTube

http://atomic-temporary-125892413.wpcomstaging.com/2020/07/31/watch-racist-attack-caught-on-film-unpunished-on-youtube/
— Read on expertescort2018.com/2020/07/31/watch-racist-attack-caught-on-film-unpunished-on-youtube/

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#expertescort2018.com

Why men dressed as women look so masculine–to me

Why men dressed as women look so masculine–to me

http://atomic-temporary-125892413.wpcomstaging.com/2020/07/10/why-do-men-who-identify-with-women-embrace-the-rigid-view-of-women-as-sex-objects-for-men/
— Read on expertescort2018.com/2020/07/10/why-do-men-who-identify-with-women-embrace-the-rigid-view-of-women-as-sex-objects-for-men/

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Escort Answers First Posts

My Earliest Blogging Efforts to Record Details Life as Call Girl

November 19, 2017… get a call 📞 at 5:30 a.m. by someone who saw my number on the site that allows providers to post ads free. He wants to see me a short drive away in Waikiki. I have to work out bc a taut body is my best feature. So of course I am late but only by 10 minutes which is enough to have the acquaintance who served as my 🚖 cab driver fuming. It’s funny to rush somewhere then wait then find out you received directions to wrong hotel 🏙 then walk up 1.5 blocks then wait then appointment time and hence compensation cut in half. Typical time. Glad to ultimately make it worth my while. But I was definitely glad to take the bus and use my bus pass rather than need a cab! I hate the sly, knowing smirk on the driver’s face. I have been told that a single Black woman in Waikiki at night is always assumed to be a hooker. I can’t get mad. In my case this assumption is right on the money. I feel conspicuous, like all eyes are on me and they know what they are seeing. In my case it is not self centered to think I am getting attention because I am. Will I be able to get up to the room without security stopping me to ask, do you need help, miss? They ask if I need help but not once has anyone offered any real assistance! In 45 minutes I will be getting high and none of this will matter.

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Escort Answers

True Words, Secretly Recorded: A Childhood in the Drug World—An Anonymous Woman Talks about Childhood in Crime

August 19, 2020

  • ExpertEscort2018.com
  • HarvardxhookrinHI, from x-street walker to sex talker

Ethical Issues: People don’t know they are recorded while they are speaking. They do give permission after the fact for this blog to feature their words. Anonymity is mandatory. In order to humanize people I know I would have crossed the street to avoid, they need to be totally unselfconscious.

People feel free to speak to someone who they feel lacks the status to judge them. At first, this may seem insulting but on a deeper level, people feel safe, safe from being judged. I can hear things they’d never tell anyone. It doesn’t matter if I haven’t been downtown in a decade or more. That’s how they remember me. I want to make that dubious claim to fame an inducement to talk truth. What a great gift I can give and what a great gift I have received.

If I did not know the identity of the speaker I would not know who was giving this exclusive inside view into a childhood in crime. She felt confident that her anonymity is safe. I will share this video on YouTube and provide the link. Thanks for listening!

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#expertescort2018.com

A Photo of How Honolulu Confirmed My Good Health

My doctor’s office is in Queens Hospital, the premier trauma hospital for the Pacific. There was a guy who I imagine was a health care professional, guarding the entry. He had a thermometer that worked by being placed near the forehead. When I proved I was fever-free, only then was I allowed in. Yes, I had a Daily Pass (see photo of sticker) ironically proving I was healthy, and therefore eligible to see a doctor. Hope the thermometer doesn’t become a vector for infection but I have to assume they thought of that.
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#expertescort2018.com

The only way for most of us to possess land in Honolulu has unfortunate timing. Unless we can be ghosts… sobriety in the midst of inequality not necessarily tempting

The closest most Hawaii residents will get to becoming landowners is possession of the plot where we’re buried. If you purchase in advance is it possible to repurpose that bit of ground? I wonder if anyone has ever done that, bought a plot and then tried to erect, I don’t know, maybe a taco stand. Maybe there are zoning restrictions that limit its use to burial. Honolulu is so prohibitively pricey (half million dollars might allow you to purchase a modest studio apartment, no front/back yard), it takes thinking like this to make a go of it as a landowner on Oahu. Forget out of the box ideas and embrace off the wall creativity.


Unequal Wealth Distribution

It’s funny, I’ve lived in some of the world’s most exclusive places. Not only here but the Upper West Side of Manhattan, The Village, also in Manhattan. College, now that was elite. I’ve never been an owner, but I’ve never been shut out. I’ve been able to experience a bit, so that I can see and know how the other half (or should more accurately say top quarter of a million households that possess most of the wealth in the U.S.). So frustrating. I found a site, inequality.org, that said Ted Turner, #3 top landowners, in world or U.S. I don’t recall, by himself, owns more land than the entire black population of this country. Wow. And we are like 13% of the whole population.

Maybe if success, as defined by wealth acquisition, were more possible it’s be more tempting for the have nots to forgo bad habits. Give up illegal activities so you can work a low paying job and throw away the bulk of your income on rent–but you’ll feel really noble. Ok, I could lunch up the sales pitch but I’d have to not rely overly much in the truth to make sobriety in inequality truly tempting.

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My Threesome (3Some) Error

Group Sex and a Flexible Outlook

An enthusiastic 3some participate and long time faithful blog fan corrected an assumption I was unaware I had made. You see, I thought threesomes only worked if everyone was engaged with everyone else, simultaneously. It never crossed my mind that taking turns is a perfectly legit strategy to utilize for a satisfying experience.

I guess I identify taking turns with having to wait against my will . My truest self wants what she wants right away, without delay

Taking turns does not have toesn idly or impatiently sitting around. That’s my own bias against having to share my time. I stead, taking turns means being alternately engaged. After all, who is going to hold the camera? Better to have a photographer who is a part of the action because it’s uncomfortable to have an outsider on the scene, an outsider whose curiosity and judgement can have a stultifying effect on the participants.

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Street Prayer I Said Every Time I Turned to the Street to Get $

Get a Date, Get Paid, Get Dope, Find a Safe place indoors to use the dope, Repeat these steps from the beginning when I ran out. It won’t surprise you to know I had concerns about what I had to do, concerns I addressed with the following prayer and apology. This is what I said every time I walked to my usual spot on Kukui Street where I could read a book while I tried to catch the eye of slowly moving drivers:

God, if You Are There

  • If You are there
  • If You Care
  • Please don’t let me get arrested
  • Please let me make enough for a nice amount of dope,
  • And please don’t let me get hurt.
  • Oh yeah, please forgive me bc yes, that list is arranged from most to least important to me.
I was in paradise but way off the beaten tourist track. Not even yours promising a “genuine” look at Honolulu take you to the red light district on Kukui Street

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5 Huge Surprises About Prostitution You’d NEVER guess!

I don’t have sex. All I ever do is talk.

I know you have heard this but it is not really true. A common half truth told by working girls. The whole truths are related to the statement. The truth is they also talk, and the requirement to talk is another surprise because who knew they’d want conversation as well?

Prostitution Surprises

1. I was surprised to learn that there is quite a bit of talking on the job. But it’s not “instead of” sexual favors, more like, “in addition to”sexual favors.” There were guys who demanded I share my opinions on current events. My intellect fascinated them. Now I know I should’ve charged for what could take as long as an hour!

2. I was surprised to discover that many women in the game did not find relationships easy. They didn’t like most people, didn’t want to spend time, certainly didn’t want to have sex. Prostitution is set apart from relationships that require time and intimacy so women who stumble upon this unlikely way to isolate themselves will stay in the job. Who’d have thought that a task so connected with others would appeal to women who have trouble relating to people on a deep level? But it’s true.

3. Working girls draw the line between touching guys and being touched. The women usually don’t want to be touched. For some it’s a way to stay in control. Others don’t like the feel of a stranger groping inexpertly. Or maybe being touched brings back trauma. Some women make no touching a condition of contact even if they aren’t playing dominant and submissive.

4. In spite of everyone’s intentions to stay distant, bonds form if you see someone over time. Most women develop friendships with one or more guys. A small percentage marry. Quite a few end up with a boyfriend, myself included. Almost everyone has someone to call on for favors. Diapers for the baby. Rides to visit a dying friend in a care home on the windward side of the island. A notary stamp on important paperwork. Visits when she is in jail. Taking her shark cage diving on Oahu’s North Shore. Moving her, her girlfriend, and their four dogs into his family’s home after his mom dies. A birthday gift of a concert ticket for a famous pop star’s performance at the Blaisdell. I’ve seen these favors. I’ve never seen a Richard Gere type, in terms of wealth and good looks, but the premise of the movie Pretty Woman is completely valid. It happens. But don’t count on it, not when you’re an addict.

5. Most amazing? You can actually enjoy being with the guy, and you look forward to seeing him. The same guy you once endured until he was done. We are women, so that relationship takes time and is not based upon sex, but on the interactions apart from sex, especially him paying her properly, respecting her “no.” And, yes, helping her out.

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I Can’t Imagine A Woman Behaving Like Donald Trump. The President’s Issue with Home Alone 2 is a useful example.

Home Alone 2

This Christmas movie classic originally featured a 7 second cameo by Donald Trump, who gives McCaulley Culkin directions, long before Trump thought of running for president. The movie powers that be in Canada had trimmed seconds here and there from this movie and other movies to keep them under 2 hours. Around 2014, that 7 second cameo was cut, along with other snippets that (I guess) were not essential for the plot. Immediately Trump launched into what I call his refrain–I’m amazing, they hate me for being me, they tried to get me, look what they did, yet they failed to take me down because I am amazing. The President heard that his cameo had been cut by Canadian film people (forgive my ignorance, I am not Googling the name bc it’s not essential to my point and I want to dash this post off). He accused the Canadian Prime Minister of cutting him out of the film in retaliation for some difference of opinion. The Canadian Prime Minister was not in office in 2014 and I think he has as much involvement with films as the American president. In other words he had nothing to do with the decision. The news pointed out Trump’s mistakes, as they always do. I don’t know if Trump is more often wrong than everyone who came before him or this is the media coverage. I do take Trump’s statements about fake news seriously because he has been well situated for a long time to know the truth about the media.

Women Can’t Say “I’m Amazing”

It is true that people are more appealing to others after they admit they have made mistakes. But I have noticed that if a woman is on television and she is very beautiful, like the Colombian actress on Modern Family, she always has to look ridiculous in some other way. In that case the character has an annoying voice and a tendency to make simple mistakes, dumb blond style. Suzanne Sommers did dumb blonde on Three’s Company. Even the classic show The Golden Girls, often had characters comment on the wideness of the sexy character’s derriere. I was watching a story about Jessica Alba and the report began with “why we hate Jessica Alba,” since she has so much going for her they were “feigning” jealousy. Sure I find Trump ridiculous for his self-involvement and that he says “I” more than other presidents, but I did not notice how I myself accepted him saying he was awesome. No one ever got down on Muhammed Ali when he did his I’m so Pretty repartee with Howard Cosell, the sportscaster. Can you imagine a woman crowing about how great she is? I would have to imagine it because there are no examples of a female public figure ever behaving like that. What if a woman made all the accusations, unfounded and others, that Trump has made. She might be institutionalized, like thousands of other women who are presently locked up against their wills and have been throughout the 20th century when men deemed their behavior “crazy.” If she wasn’t called crazy, that hyper aggressive woman might be branded as a witch. Unless she has some glaring defect that can comfort society with the assurance that a woman can only be so good.

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Criminal Christmas in Paradise–A Snapshot into Local Culture on the Other Side of the Tracks

Honolulu, Hawaii, Christmas 2019

Potluck meals are a staple of Hawaiian culture. The shared meal made up of different dishes provided by the individual members for consumption by all bonds the group family style. It is not necessary for everyone to contribute and no one keeps track of who brought a dish and who did not. You do not have to bring food in order to eat. If an unexpected person turns up, that person is welcome to eat too. Usually people will insist that she join the group. Local people believe it is very bad luck to argue where food is being prepared, set out, or eaten because the spirit of dissension can go into the food and spread to the people sharing the meal.

Illegal Gambling Establishments, “Game Rooms”

I went to a game room in search of a story for this blog, although I do not remember exactly where it was. The same people were there playing electronic machines that remind me of unsophisticated 1980’s Atari video games. At the side of the room was a long table with pots of food, plates, forks, knives–a Christmas Potluck. At the game room! Every now and then Honolulu Police decide to raid the game rooms and shut them down, and after a few weeks or months they reappear in the same spot of a different spot. There are violent incidents because tens of thousands of dollars are gambled on a daily basis and people want to get their hands on that money by hook or by crook. If something goes down, the game rooms get shut down. The game room I visited only just started functioning this month. I don’t know if something bad happened there, but if it did, it happened when there wasn’t food being served because fighting in the vicinity of a meal is simply not done. Today, the gamblers and the staff members I was told did the cooking, were family.

Fitting in at the game room

I could have asked to eat if I wanted to and they would not have denied me. I did not want to stay long because people want you to spend money in their establishment and gambling is not my thing. I do not gamble because unlike when I was young, I now know I too could get addicted to the most uninteresting, unappealing practice, in a dingy setting where desperate people linger hoping to rob you. In my youth I would not have worried about my vulnerability because I thought I was invulnerable. I have spent most of my adult life doing things I did not even know existed in the world and had I known I would have denied any desire to participate. “Me? No way. Never.” That’s what I would have said about gambling. Now I side with the people in the 12 step meetings who talk about how you haven’t done something yet, but you might because yet stands for “You’re Eligible Too.” I avoid gambling and game-rooms because they suck a lot of people in, and it is the only addiction I have seen that is more expensive than crack. To be polite I put a $20 in the machine, and in less than a minute of pressing the button trying to shoot the electronic fish swimming on the screen, my turn was over and my money was gone. I did not try again. I imagine if I had won I might have been in trouble and decided to come back to do it again. I can say this, losing is not addictive!