Genius cleaning tip, otherwise known inline as a “hack”
How do I connect being an orphan with an amazing cleaning method for a car’s interior with Elmer’s glue and baking soda!Easy! I never had anyone take an interest in teaching me maintenance life skills. I had a top flight vocabulary but was completely befuddled about how to separate light and dark colored clothes AND wash a white top with red stripes for one example. I have had to do online research for the knowledge and demos that I continually loop. A life of drugs and family life don’t mix. Naturally, the kids…don’t happen for us (more on this über difficult topic later). Addicted, troubled people like me never really had to learn and develop cleaning life skills in our solitary peripatetic wanderings. Responsible to no one, responsible for no one, not even ourselves, we kept possessions to a minimum. Well, our stuff was mostly stolen by similarly situated women repaying us for our thefts. When what we were wearing got too dirty to make turning it inside out an effective freshening up technique, we would steal something new from Ross’ Dress for Less on Hotel Street. You can understand why we were always so far behind our age group in all forms of development, from social to financial, to every day cleaning.
This life hack might have been interesting to you but to me it was vital. Can you imagine being in my situation?¡
During my young adulthood the only thing I knew about cars was to try to catch the eye of the driver to see if he would stop for me. Cars were what I looked at when I was looking for someone who was looking for me. And oh yes, the four police stings I was involved with in downtown Honolulu began with me getting into a vehicle that was driven by an undercover police officer while other officers watched and followed us. Twice I escaped arrest, twice I did not. I learned much from these experiences and I am sharing those fascinating times from Honolulu at the turn if the 21st century. However, none of those adventures taught me anything about being a grown-up who owns a car (legally!). This is what happened today:
This is my Google Review posted Friday September 18, 2021
I went to Servco Toyota because this is the first time I have ever owned a vehicle and I do not know all the little insider bits of wisdom a person accumulates through experience. I thought the dealership would be the most legit, it would have the parts, and be competitively priced. When I told people my reasoning they laughed. ” Don’t you know the dealership is the most expensive? If you’re under warranty it is fine but if not don’t go there.” Another person said, “I go to Servco for maintenance, Lex Brody for brakes and tires, and I found place on Queen Street for Toyota.” I hoped they were wrong. I dealt with Vince who was very nice. He even waited to see if I was coming to pick up my car but exigent circumstances prevented me from picking it up the same day. I was able to leave or overnight for free. I suppose it should have been free sine they did not do anything. The parts were not in stock and it will take 7-10 days to receive them. What was this $140 bill paying for? The response: diagnosis. That was the cost for them to look at the car and tell me what I had told them when I brought the car to them in the first place. I paid $140 for nothing. Does everyone get treated this way? My paranoia is kicking in and I feel I must disclose to you, my valued readers, that I tend to be unreasonably suspicious and feel insulted over nothing. But that does not make me wrong when I think I detect a rip off. Or does it? Is it reasonable to pay $140 just to have the car looked at? Another friend concluded: “that’s why you support your local businesses, not the big national chain stores. Cross your fingers snd hope the neighborhood mechanic is not a tweeker. You should be able to get a much better deal from a local mechanic who is not on the pipe.”
Late Lessons from this experience
Whenever you are choosing to do something you are choosing not to do something else. I said “yes” to drugs and “no” to adult behavior that involves the acquisition, maintenance, and storage of things like cars. I am over 35 (this is not a math lesson, I will not say how many years stand between 35 and me). I own my first car. Here is what I did not know:
1. Mistakes like parking too close to something, are easy to make, easy to repeat, and get expensive quickly.
2. I knew people would want to use me for rides but I did not expect the persistent efforts to separate me from my car, permanently.
3. If parking is scarce, expensive, far from home, or unsafe, you might decide the problems outweigh the benefits. If you decide to keep the car new heretofore unknown pressure will become part of your lifestyle. Examples of pressure include but are not limited to: the stress of worrying about your car, or the anxiety about oversleeping and the car getting towed from street parking at 6:30 a.m.
4. People do not like to see you make progress. Not all people of course, but more than I would have imagined. Even if what they have is better, they resent you for getting a 16 year old used car with 170.000 miles. The will do everything from look the other way when the car is vandalized, to vandalizing it themselves.
5. People who let me know they need a car will get angry with me for not giving them the car–for free. I know more than my fair share of criminals who would rather take the car (or whatever) from me at no cost to themselves. This is true even if I was willing to work out a shared arrangement.
6. Because you never owned anything, experiences that are my Dane for others will produce feelings if joy and triumph and you will be constantly reminded of how far you’ve come in spite if the sabotaging efforts if others–and self! Every time you change lanes you will feel like a kid on Christmas and you might say aloud, in an empty car, “Caroleena on the go!” And you’ll laugh.
Felons on juries–probably will never happen bc people think the way I used to
I always figured a felon is a bad person. Of course I will point out that there’s felonies and there’s felonies. I heard a hostile teacher who knew my background say to my class: we don’t want murderers, rapists, prostitutes. The class agreed. I would have at one time. But this time I thought “how did I get on a list with Jeffrey Dahmer and Ted Bundy?” Consenting adults engaged in a private matter? Not the same! I do agree that when the private becomes public and people are on the street for all to see whether they like it or not, that can be objectionable. But that is not why I think felons, even me, should be on juries.
I got my car back and only experience allowed me to see through the con–like a jury member should
Yes, I was a fool and allowed someone to take my car without me to have a mechanic friend repair the window. This someone is a senior citizen but I know age might slow a person down so he cannot do what he used to. But people rarely change. This person was a career criminal who once got angry with me when I broached the subject of him taking car off my hands–but I did not mean for free. I did not know that this grudge had been held for months. He was either waiting for a chance to take the car from me and the friendship was an act, or he had been a friend but he sucked at friendship so when he saw a chance to take what he wanted he grabbed it. The first possibility is very personal but the second is not personal. Just him being who he is. I guess that’s a false dichotomy bc both reflect his nature apart from anything I could do.
The reason I got the car back is bc I cop out of the five I spoke to cared to help me. You see if you give someone the key you gave consent. I guess there’s no such thing as withdrawing consent. Unless the cops took one look at me, checked my record, and decided to turn a blind eye. It has happened before. You might get different treatment. One officer went the extra mile. He called the person so that HOD showed up on his caller id. The effect was predictable. The guy obeyed the instruction to return the car. He did not know there was no police report and I had been told by the others to go to small claims court.
Experience taught me to see through the excuses
Have you ever read my life hacks? Go to the search engine within this site and look them up. A biggie: the best time to look honest is when you are lying. The guy was very convincing as he spoke of my trust issues and his thwarted desire to make me happy. But if this was true why refuse my phone calls, why hide the location of my car, why ignore my frantic texts saying I consider the car stolen, and why tell me you will return it when you want. Con men are convincing. See the similarity in the words? Con is short for confidence. That’s what they win to get away with their scams. In retrospect you think you should have known but you forget how it felt to hear what you want. There is no betray. Only love. Experience allows a person to fight the strong urge to give in. And set yourself up for next time.
How can a jury judge what they know nothing about. A jury of your peers should be made up of peers in age, race, but faaar more importantly inexperience. People from your world. And if you think felons are more likely to doubt cops that non felons you are probably right. We know the police. No one improves under scrutiny. If you think we would be more lenient towards criminals you are wrong. We are a world weary bunch unlikely to have sympathy to spare. Especially if we can see through the con.
Thursday, July 22, 2021, 11:33 p.m., Honolulu, Hawaii
Remember Winona, age 60 something? She might have had a stroke
I say “might” because when she was stricken with whatever made her seriously ill, she only stayed in the hospital a day and a half and left against medical advice. It is not unusual for people with addictions to leave the hospital in search of dope downtown. Queens Hospital is near downtown Honolulu, and they get a lot of street people looking for a place to sleep or presenting with self inflicted (and therefore “unworthy”) medical issues from doing drugs like skin abscesses or inflammation of the valves of the heart from bacteria introduced into the body by the needle pushing it beneath the skin. Most addicts do not swab their arms or wherever they are shooting dope. The staff at Queens is so hostile to addicts that, in my humble opinion, many of them are downright unprofessional and I wonder if they are trying to drive people out to their deaths. After a seizure a woman from downtown was resting in the Queens E.R. when a nurse one would expect to exhibit compassion, woke her by kicking the gurney and saying, “Get up Get out. I am not your mother.” Queens is an easy hospital to leave, especially given it is within walking distance to dope, even for people wheeling i.v. poles. I have seen a patient with i.v. in tow looking for dope, still wearing the hospital gown. Winona was similar to this person in that she needed a wheelchair but did not wait for the social worker to help her so she arrived downtown pushing herself along in a wheeled office chair. Winona won’t go back to the hospital, according to another associate, Antonia, another downtown denizen of a certain age, who is in a wheelchair because she did not follow through with physical therapy after hip replacement surgery and her muscles are too atrophied to allow her to walk again. Or so I have heard.
I told Winona I would take care of her if she went back to the hospital. I’ll bring her dope. But she won’t go. I don’t really think she had a stroke because I had a stroke when I was in the hospital and that does not seem to be what is wrong. She is weak though. I watch out for her at night because she sleeps with our group. But I can’t keep supporting her habit because I have to sell the stuff or get cut off.
Antonia, contradicting herself by promising to supply the ailing Winona with dope but complaining that Winona feels entitled to free dope now that she cannot work the track to supplement ineffectual sales. The women are both their own best customers and unless they have plenty of heroin they have always had to supplement their dealing with prostitution to keep themselves well, or avoid withdrawal due to lack of heroin.
Fear of Missing Out is a real psychological phenomena that keeps aging and ailing addicts hunting for dope when they should be seeking medical care
Addicts know that once hospitals have a record of your addiction, they are extremely reluctant to give you even necessary painkillers. There is no such thing as successful drug seeking behavior at Honolulu hospitals. The staff is hip to that game and they seem to get offended that patients would try to con them. The only way to have dope in the hospital is to very respectfully explain that you have a habit and ask for the minimum of methadone to stay out of withdrawal. If you do this, it is likely the hospital will comply, but that is no way to get high and addicts have to sneak in additional dope if they want more than to just not be sick. Addiction causes problems precisely because people are unable to regulate their use, or resist their cravings for drugs. People with addictions are often unable to leave an area where the drugs are located to go to a drug free area. The very thought of such a journey, however short or temporary, can cause full blown panic attacks. The slang term is “getting stuck” and it is one of the main reasons people miss appointments, family gatherings, court dates, anything of tremendous importance is that they do not anticipate getting stuck. They imagine they will leave in plenty of time to arrive at the urgent affair and that simply does not happen, nor is this failure ever anticipated. The mental disease lies to the sufferer and tells her, “this time will be different.” Things are never different. I have seen drug users grow older and more infirm, and although they are not elderly by society’s standards, once they are in their 50’s and 60’s their health is quite bad and does not improve because they make no more effort to support their health than they did in their pre-teens, which is when most addicts raised in Hawaii get their start using drugs.
The Problem is death is not instantaneous
Addicts, even non-addicts, will say they do not fear death. Who cares anyway? It is not like anyone will miss them. Their families, parents, children, siblings, do not speak to them. There are no real friends in the dope game. If it all came to an end would that be so bad? Obviously, I have no idea about death but I do know that people rarely go from perfect health to instantaneous oblivion. A period of disability is not unusual. I have seen people last for several years, confined to bed, unable to rise, or speak, or understand words spoken to them. This period of infirmity is almost universally feared by anyone I have ever spoken to about it. Whenever people refuse to take their blood pressure medication claiming they do not care if their life ends, I remind them of how a stroke can leave them. And I tell them that they vow they would kill themselves before they let that fate befall them, but that fate befalls them before they have the chance to kill themselves. Then what are you going to do when your body is your prison?
Is there an addict community?
Kind of. There are people who will help you get high, or provide you with a place to get high if you share your drugs. You might even come to like these people and seek out their company. But will they be there to care for you since you have no family? I know a woman named Joyce, also in a wheelchair, now that I think about it, whose hip replacements became infected from street life and in a process I do not understand somehow her hips are not securely held within the ball and socket joint. Like the previous two women in chairs, she is not paralyzed but infirm from street life. Yet she has a smile for everyone and she insists that I, and everyone else, band together to take care of each other because we have no one else. It is hard to motivate for the previous two women who have gossiped about me with considerable viciousness and stolen from me. I could help Joyce, although I admit to avoiding her since Winona got sick and she insisted that I find Winona and see if she needed my help or if she wanted to stay with me. I do not want Winona in my space because she would rather see me homeless by sabotaging me than for me to have a place she might be able to visit. This amount of spite is very typical. Like others who escaped the streets, I learned that I had to get rid of my desire to reach out to others or else lose what I have when these others do things like leave syringes around the property in the hope of causing me to lose my apartment. Joyce is kind and she shows me I could be a better person, but my willingness to risk everything for people who would never risk anything for me is not great. Forget risk, these people would not inconvenience themselves for me! Do I believe that I might need someone to take care of me? Realistically, I have learned that it is only the folly of youth that makes people thing themselves invulnerable. Something could happen to me and I might need help and if that happens I do not know what will become of me. But I do know that opening a care home in my place will not win me any favor with women who dislike me but will happily use me.
Regular wisdom for everyday people comes from an unlikely source–a brilliant woman on Honolulu’s addicted downtown streets who has convinced herself she is in the area doing research. Check the link to find out what you never knew you wanted to know! From someone you never imagined had any wisdom for you. Follow the link and when you feel surprised know that your preconceived notions are being confronted!
A Strange Reaction to a threat puts “victim” in control
I care about you my beloved reader. I want to share safety strategies that have worked for me. I want to put my pain to good use as a benefit to YOU.. Here’s an example of a lesson I have learned. Approach does NOT determine response. Approach might influence response, if respondent allows herself to be influenced, but the real truth is, we own ourselves. We choose our responses, even if the choice is so quick and automatic we do not realize we are making a choice. Someone cannot “do” anything to you. Victimizers, predators, con artists, these people want to control their targets by pushing for a certain response. Two important points: 1. If someone gets you to respond , that person owns your mind and, 2. Victimizers take pleasure in producing a response
If you show someone you are vulnerable, you become a fixed target for abuse. It would be as difficult to stop abusing you as it would be to quit drugs. Your pain is an abuser’s cocaine.
A childhood in foster care with people who were not on my side taught me that if people discover something hurts you, scared you, they will keep going for that response the way a rat in a lab experiment will keep pushing the cocaine button until the rat collapses. It feels good, they’ll keep at it until they literally cannot do it anymore. Similarly, if someone wants to hurt you and you show fear, they won’t stop doing whatever hurts you. Your pain is their pleasure. When you are confronted with someone who wants to scare you remember, you own yourself. No matter how convincingly menacing they are with, for example, gun in hand, you can absolutely control yourself and, at the sight of the gun, smile and say something like, “Finally! Let’s get this party started!”
Dear Reader, Do You Feel Surprise?
If this strategy shocks you, the reader, it will be that much more shocking to the predator. You have one opportunity to surprise someone and throw the person off script. They do not know what to do in the next moment because threatening a woman by placing a knife to her throat (for example) has always had a predictable outcome. But this?
No Pleasure is a No Go
At this point the attacker is bewildered and they did not get the rush of pleasure that provides the adrenaline to physically continue an attack. They did not get the endorphins that activate the inner addict inside of us all (endorphin means the morphine within). If you don’t show fear you might find that indeed, the willing cannot be raped. Respond with, “where have you been all my life?” and the intense strangeness of the situation can keep you safe.
Do I make guarantees?
I make no guarantees. I only share what has worked for me. More than once. By the way, a bored reaction can be equally off putting. “You’re going to do what to me? Whateve’s…hand me my book so I can read while you’re busy doing that.”
Xhookr Life Hack #19: Never show fear if someone wants toscare you, don’t show pain if someone tries to hurt you. Take the fun out of abusing you, or else they are likely to carry on. Agree with the person, offer happy excitement, or show boredom. You own your reactions. You can do it!
The person you have in contempt for is contemptuous of you. This is a very common occurrence between working girls and clients. Both often have issues with the opposite sex, issues that include resenting the opposite sex for needing them and the absolute conviction that the opposite sex is exploiting this need. How can this person think badly of me, when…? You are appalled, indignant. It’s actually pretty funny. Xhooker Life Hack #15: when you think you are better than the person you are dealing with, not only do you not mention your opinion, but you do not endeavor to find out the person’s opinion of you. Unless your sense of humor is both well developed and self-deprecating!
What do you say when you find out the person you believe you are settling for thinks he is settling for you? F*** My Life
A Hooker Life Hack is the newest wisdom from the oldest profession for every day life.