Addiction and Prostitution in Hawaii

Addiction Myth: People Have to Be Ready for Treatment to Work.See YouTube Link W/ Real Addicts

I know exactly what is going to be said before someone says it. Am I psychic? Maybe just telepathic when it comes to addicts? Not exactly. Addiction is a kind of brain disorder that creates delusions. People believe things about reality that are demonstrably false, but they hold fast to their beliefs because their brain, under the influende of drugs, is convinced a falsehood is true. For example, the brand new drug user, two weeks into trying crack or heroin or ice says, “I am not like the rest of these people. No way would I ever turn a trick to get money for drugs.” I know the person will say this. I know that this statement will prove to be false. I have been fortunate enough to be around a lot of drug users, while they are clean and while they are using because I have been incarcerated and to treatment. I know the patterns. I have learned that people say exactly the same false things, with no awareness that what they are saying will turn out not to be true. They do not even know they won’t keep their word. Because they do not know addiction, and because drugs have a predictable effect on the brain. Unlike schizophrenia, delusions are not different for each person, but the same thinking patterns take over everyone’s mind. It is extraordinary, really, to be able to predict what strangers will do and say with incredible accuracy

FALSE: People have to be ready to quit for treatment to be successful. The first reason this statement is false is that treatment is for the most part, unsuccessful. Any rehab facility that could promise a 10% success rate would become the first rehab facility to make a billion dollars. You are more likely to recover from cancer than you are to recover from drug addiction. Having established that we are talking about a success rate, if we look at people still clean one year after finishing treatment, of what…? One or two percent. Ok, take the one or two percent and dealing with those people I will state categorically that they did not have to be willing to enter treatment to stop using. First of all, we remember all that we are taught about drugs and behavior and although we may not apply it, the knowledge is still there, available to us when we are ready to use it. Just because someone does not stay clean does not mean the education was totally lost. It is simply dormant knowledge. Second. the brain is convinced through the demon of addiction that we don’t really have a problem, not like those serious cases we can think of, and we just know we do not need help. We might want it, but we will categorically deny we need it, and we believe we are speaking truth. But the truth is, unless we are locked up in some fashion, we are not going to stop. Yes, it will take physical restraint for an addict to get time away from using. Very few do it on their own, by themselves, by doing something different with their day, even when no one is watching. No one is ever ready to be locked up, be it treatment, detox, a psych ward, or a correctional facility. Sure people will cavaleirly say, yes, you can chain my to the bed, because that’s what it will take. But you better believe we would be gnawing on that chain with our teeth like a rat in a trap as soon as the craving took hold in mind and body. I speak literally, not figuratively. Yes, we would try to gnaw through the ties that bound us if we thought we could get away and get high.

the time away from the drug, involuntary though it necessarily is, will help. I cannot tell you why almost everyone returns to using after a period of sobriety, I can only say for sure that they do not have to have a voluntary start to keep going down the sober road.

A new look at felons

We need a felon’s perspective on juries, and I’m not going to say what you expect

Felons on juries–probably will never happen bc people think the way I used to

I always figured a felon is a bad person. Of course I will point out that there’s felonies and there’s felonies. I heard a hostile teacher who knew my background say to my class: we don’t want murderers, rapists, prostitutes. The class agreed. I would have at one time. But this time I thought “how did I get on a list with Jeffrey Dahmer and Ted Bundy?” Consenting adults engaged in a private matter? Not the same! I do agree that when the private becomes public and people are on the street for all to see whether they like it or not, that can be objectionable. But that is not why I think felons, even me, should be on juries.

I got my car back and only experience allowed me to see through the con–like a jury member should

Yes, I was a fool and allowed someone to take my car without me to have a mechanic friend repair the window. This someone is a senior citizen but I know age might slow a person down so he cannot do what he used to. But people rarely change. This person was a career criminal who once got angry with me when I broached the subject of him taking car off my hands–but I did not mean for free. I did not know that this grudge had been held for months. He was either waiting for a chance to take the car from me and the friendship was an act, or he had been a friend but he sucked at friendship so when he saw a chance to take what he wanted he grabbed it. The first possibility is very personal but the second is not personal. Just him being who he is. I guess that’s a false dichotomy bc both reflect his nature apart from anything I could do.

The reason I got the car back is bc I cop out of the five I spoke to cared to help me. You see if you give someone the key you gave consent. I guess there’s no such thing as withdrawing consent. Unless the cops took one look at me, checked my record, and decided to turn a blind eye. It has happened before. You might get different treatment. One officer went the extra mile. He called the person so that HOD showed up on his caller id. The effect was predictable. The guy obeyed the instruction to return the car. He did not know there was no police report and I had been told by the others to go to small claims court.

Experience taught me to see through the excuses

Have you ever read my life hacks? Go to the search engine within this site and look them up. A biggie: the best time to look honest is when you are lying. The guy was very convincing as he spoke of my trust issues and his thwarted desire to make me happy. But if this was true why refuse my phone calls, why hide the location of my car, why ignore my frantic texts saying I consider the car stolen, and why tell me you will return it when you want. Con men are convincing. See the similarity in the words? Con is short for confidence. That’s what they win to get away with their scams. In retrospect you think you should have known but you forget how it felt to hear what you want. There is no betray. Only love. Experience allows a person to fight the strong urge to give in. And set yourself up for next time.

How can a jury judge what they know nothing about. A jury of your peers should be made up of peers in age, race, but faaar more importantly inexperience. People from your world. And if you think felons are more likely to doubt cops that non felons you are probably right. We know the police. No one improves under scrutiny. If you think we would be more lenient towards criminals you are wrong. We are a world weary bunch unlikely to have sympathy to spare. Especially if we can see through the con.


Myth: Thieves always do THIS. This Harvard grad from Honolulu’s streets has wisdom YOU need

People think they can spot a thief

I have heard people say that because someone is worried about theft that person must be a thief. It is believed that orientation toward safety indicates theft is on a person’s mind. Ergo, they steal.

Why would you be worried about people stealing from you unless you are a thief?

The Improper conclusion people reach when they notice someone’s anti-theft precautions.

People who worry about theft have had experience with it, either directly or by proxy, by which I mean they watch from the sidelines as the “boosters” shoplift then sell their items to the gamblers who play cards in large, ethnically homogenous, outdoor groups. But knowing about theft does not a thief make. People become concerned about theft in three other ways:

  • They are generally well informed.
  • They have been victims of theft.
  • They have been falsely accused.

I know about being falsely accused There are too many stores here in Honolulu where people the professional thieves call “floor walkers,” follow me around. It is creepy and infuriating to watch people watching me for no discernible reason. I guess they are racial profiling. I do not steal. But it is my understanding that people believe that if you look like me, you will steal. That is how theft comes to my attention when I would not have thought about it otherwise. I get so frustrated with that helpless feeling that comes with the knowledge that people have the wrong idea and there is nothing, absolutely nothing, I can do about it. I will be honest, people judge me as someone from the streets and I feel like yelling, “I went to Harvard!” But then what would I follow that with–I could have been successful! I might still be successful! I am not a thief. I was a hooker. People gave me money. I never had to take it, and they never wanted it back.” All true. But the truth does not prove another truth. How is that for frustrating? Breaking the law in a particularly unacceptable way does nothing for my credibility. But if you think about it, I have a point when I say I never stole. Don’t I?

Why is it so unhelpful to assert that I was not a thief but a sex worker?

Please do not jump to conclusions. Assumptions can be hurtful. Traumatic, truth be told. More importantly for the person seeking to apply knowledge, assumptions leave you vulnerable to the real risks. I am not a threat, to your stuff or anything else.

relationships Saving Marriages

The True Meaning of a Marriage that Forsakes all others

Is Monogamy Really in the Marriage Vows?

Forsaking all others. That line is in the traditional marriage vow. People think it has to mean monogamy.  Forsaking all others, just you and me.  But there is more than one way to conceptualize forsaking all others. It could mean that we do not care what anyone else says our union should be.  This is our thing. If we want to bring other people into it, that’s fine. If we want to have separate bedrooms like roommates, that’s our business. I have heard of people who have to be apart, maybe through work or incarceration. In some cases the agreement between them is, do whatever you want in my absence but be there for me and only me when I get back. Living up to the expectations of a faceless society is difficult when you have to live an unhappy life bc it’s the “right” thing to do. While you’re miserable how do you ever confirm that you’ve pleased these other people you’re so worried about? Or, you might suffer through the “right’ thing for a specific person’s approval but that person is not laying next to you at night. What could your life be if you could agree with your spouse about what you two want to do, regardles of how unusual your terms, while forsaking all others–parents, in-laws, strangers and their opinions, expectations and pressure. A marriage free of the influence of other people is far to rare but I think that’s the standard of freedom the marriage vows try to create.


The Real Reason Rich People Are Unhappy – Home Page: Honolulu Street Wise: exciting, witty, inside view

Being rich can be the worst thing in the world for this group of people