Shared Wisdom from Street Life

Gabby Pettito linked article and how to test guys from the internet before meeting them

How do you know if a guy from the internet is dangerous

Warning signs of potentially dangerous internet friends/abusers exist. You can never know for sure what a person may do, especially when people hide the truth, even from themselves. However, people do not always hide themselves as well as they think. The pressure of feigning niceness can cause slips, like psychological leakage that manifests itself in angry actions towards women. These actions are not always blatant. They might look like bad manners. They are more than deviation from the code of politeness. If you perform the test I describe and get these results, call the whole thing off.

The 3 Part Test for a guy you’re about to meet

Meeting people online is how people get together today. There is no shame in it. Not like the early days of social media when it was believed only the desperate or con artists reached out to people remotely. But how can a lone woman tell if she is meeting friend or foe? Lover or loser? Soul mate or Psycho? There are some subtle tests that produce revealing answers:
1. CHANGE PLANS WITH LITTLE NOTICE. No, don’t be rude or unreasonable. But see what happens if he has to change course a bit and it is 100% your doing. Text him and ask him for an extra 19 minutes. Or ask him to meet on the nest block.As petty as it may seem, there are guys who won’t want to do something simply bc it is a woman telling them. The plan to meet can be seen as a joint effort, not her decision. But s change she dictates? Unthinkable to some men. I have seen men react to news of a 10 minute delay with obscenities, rage. One texted, “No b****” tells me what to do.” A rather extreme reaction, wouldn’t you say? Those guys who think it is reasonable to text a woman they’ve never meet with swear words or name calling are out. Another reason for changing plans is to be unpredictable, just a little. In case it is a set up, it is advisable to not emerge exactly when expected.
2. ARRIVE AT RENDEZVOUS POINT BEFORE HIM. Does he show up with other people, then take a position by himself, as if he is alone. Bad sign. 3. GIVE HIM AN INSTRUCTION. Difficult guys react badly to a “b****” telling them what to do and this is another way to uncover latent hostility. I was surprised at how many guys would not accept parking instructions. In addition to profanity and name calling, repeated Tweets are bad news like 17 in 10 minutes. People say this sounds paranoid

What looks like paranoia on an ordinary day, looks ridiculously trusting after something bad happens. “You mean, those were the only precautions she took when meeting strangers from the internet?” That what they would say if tragedy struck. Much of my good luck is the lack of crime in Hawaii. Moreover, someone who knows the assailant and/or the victim is likely to spot the meeting. Well, maybe not likely. But it would not be uncommon to encounter an acquaintance anywhere on the island. When you’re in a place where lots of people know your name, committing major violent crime would be like trying to assault someone in “Cheers,” (the tv bar “where everybody knows your name.”). Things are ineffably more dangerous in a place that is easy to exit and criminals can be anywhere on a vast continent within an hour. People are bolder when escape is easier and anonymity is practically guaranteed. These precautions might not be enough in the continental United States.


A Photo of How Honolulu Confirmed My Good Health

My doctor’s office is in Queens Hospital, the premier trauma hospital for the Pacific. There was a guy who I imagine was a health care professional, guarding the entry. He had a thermometer that worked by being placed near the forehead. When I proved I was fever-free, only then was I allowed in. Yes, I had a Daily Pass (see photo of sticker) ironically proving I was healthy, and therefore eligible to see a doctor. Hope the thermometer doesn’t become a vector for infection but I have to assume they thought of that.
Escort Answers

How to not get scammed by your provider, Part I

Scammers are everywhere and they want you and me!

I don’t know how these people got my name and number but they seem to know me. For months I have received calls purportedly from the U.S. government warning me that if I did not do something about the illegal use of my social security number I could face a long prison term. I have asked around and I found that many other people have received this same call. None of the people I talk to are gullible enough to stay on the line to receive the solution from the caller so I cannot say they asked for money, but I am certain they would if I let them.

We are on the lookout for people who barge into our lives and try to get something for nothing, or worse, something at our expense. We expect this treatment from strangers because it is a cruel world. But what about the people we invite into our space? What do we do about the provider or the client who wants to take as much as possible and give as little as possible as a standard way of doing business? The extra treat for these people is to totally rip us off. I meet many people who show me their absolute worst selves. I think I have an insider’s view into the basest of humanity’s nature due to being identified as a sex worker. I belong to a class of people that society views as, at best, unimportant, most often, as expendable, and unfortunately, as low hanging fruit to be plucked, peeled, gutted, and then, once we are stripped down to almost nothing, tossed away. When something happens to a prostitute, the person viewing the news story (assuming a crime against a hooker is newsworthy) usually says “well, what did she expect?” and promptly forgets. I have learned from my forensic television educational programs that predators target people like me because they correctly assume law enforcement won’t care at all or won’t care as much as if we were real people. They get caught only when they accumulate numbers and there are just too many dead bodies left in public already. It is my unverifiable observation that when a man is caught for killing just one hooker that sex worker is always white. I can’t prove it but I believe I am right. [An interesting aside about my own biases, it would take proof for me to let go of a belief for which I lack proof. Hmmm, but enough about my confirmation bias.] Let’s focus on what I know: I know con artists, the up close and personal ones.

Interested in what a provider will do to rip you off? Are you a provider who wants to know the warning signs that a trick will turn ugly? I am going to share my observations. I have been called paranoid in the online discussion forum about providers for putting my screening methods in place to try to weed out the crazies after the phone call but before they reach me. Yet if something bad happened to me, people would say, “those are the only precautions she took before meeting up with strangers who want sex? That’s nuts.” Everyone’s a critic so when it comes to safety I do what I think is best, and I am well aware that by living in Oahu I am safe because this place is too damn small for anyone to get away with anything. On the mainland, i doubt I would still be here. Once I decided to ignore all my warning signs and meet up with guys who did not pass my test. The one meeting I had with a guy I would ordinarily have passed over ended with him wrenching his money out of my hands and daring me to do something about it. A more scientific study would have required me to ignore warning signs on multiple occasions for comparison purposes but I did not.

You are going to be privy to what I have learned about the people who will rob us through hard knocks, by deliberate experimentation, and from stories shared with me by self-congratulatory people who always assumed they were the smartest people in every room. I once heard if you are the smartest person in the room, you are in the wrong room. I like to think I have a different mindset than the thieves and can see them objectively. Of course we know that is not true. If you think I know something about the criminals you get naked with, stay tuned for the first installment of that very series:


Don’t let the con artists get you–and here is a hint, they don’t look like this picture!