Find a grave is a site I joined without remembering that I joined during the fog of grief after the 2017 death of my significant other. The mission is to allow people to see the final resting places of loved ones in far away cemeteries. You take a picture that’s requested by someone and it is your hope that someone will take a picture for you if you request. Or there does not have to be reciprocity. You can just go to the cemetery and take the picture. In gifted and talented class in elementary school I remember going on a field trip to a cemetery with graves dating back to the 1800’s. We did rubbings of the face of the headstone with a paper and the side of a crayon. That is how I know that it is not unusual for people to visit cemeteries for reasons that are not necessarily grim, but educational. Plus they are quiet places. No crime. Very restful, even for the living. I do find the t shirt and mug strange, but that is me. If they can have a cemetery gift shop of sorts then so can I. I thought about it before but never went through with the idea but I would like a t shirt for myself even if no one else buys one. I will keep you posted on the status of merchandise acquisition.
Felons on juries–probably will never happen bc people think the way I used to
I always figured a felon is a bad person. Of course I will point out that there’s felonies and there’s felonies. I heard a hostile teacher who knew my background say to my class: we don’t want murderers, rapists, prostitutes. The class agreed. I would have at one time. But this time I thought “how did I get on a list with Jeffrey Dahmer and Ted Bundy?” Consenting adults engaged in a private matter? Not the same! I do agree that when the private becomes public and people are on the street for all to see whether they like it or not, that can be objectionable. But that is not why I think felons, even me, should be on juries.
I got my car back and only experience allowed me to see through the con–like a jury member should
Yes, I was a fool and allowed someone to take my car without me to have a mechanic friend repair the window. This someone is a senior citizen but I know age might slow a person down so he cannot do what he used to. But people rarely change. This person was a career criminal who once got angry with me when I broached the subject of him taking car off my hands–but I did not mean for free. I did not know that this grudge had been held for months. He was either waiting for a chance to take the car from me and the friendship was an act, or he had been a friend but he sucked at friendship so when he saw a chance to take what he wanted he grabbed it. The first possibility is very personal but the second is not personal. Just him being who he is. I guess that’s a false dichotomy bc both reflect his nature apart from anything I could do.
The reason I got the car back is bc I cop out of the five I spoke to cared to help me. You see if you give someone the key you gave consent. I guess there’s no such thing as withdrawing consent. Unless the cops took one look at me, checked my record, and decided to turn a blind eye. It has happened before. You might get different treatment. One officer went the extra mile. He called the person so that HOD showed up on his caller id. The effect was predictable. The guy obeyed the instruction to return the car. He did not know there was no police report and I had been told by the others to go to small claims court.
Experience taught me to see through the excuses
Have you ever read my life hacks? Go to the search engine within this site and look them up. A biggie: the best time to look honest is when you are lying. The guy was very convincing as he spoke of my trust issues and his thwarted desire to make me happy. But if this was true why refuse my phone calls, why hide the location of my car, why ignore my frantic texts saying I consider the car stolen, and why tell me you will return it when you want. Con men are convincing. See the similarity in the words? Con is short for confidence. That’s what they win to get away with their scams. In retrospect you think you should have known but you forget how it felt to hear what you want. There is no betray. Only love. Experience allows a person to fight the strong urge to give in. And set yourself up for next time.
How can a jury judge what they know nothing about. A jury of your peers should be made up of peers in age, race, but faaar more importantly inexperience. People from your world. And if you think felons are more likely to doubt cops that non felons you are probably right. We know the police. No one improves under scrutiny. If you think we would be more lenient towards criminals you are wrong. We are a world weary bunch unlikely to have sympathy to spare. Especially if we can see through the con.
People think they can spot a thief
I have heard people say that because someone is worried about theft that person must be a thief. It is believed that orientation toward safety indicates theft is on a person’s mind. Ergo, they steal.
People who worry about theft have had experience with it, either directly or by proxy, by which I mean they watch from the sidelines as the “boosters” shoplift then sell their items to the gamblers who play cards in large, ethnically homogenous, outdoor groups. But knowing about theft does not a thief make. People become concerned about theft in three other ways:
- They are generally well informed.
- They have been victims of theft.
- They have been falsely accused.
I know about being falsely accused There are too many stores here in Honolulu where people the professional thieves call “floor walkers,” follow me around. It is creepy and infuriating to watch people watching me for no discernible reason. I guess they are racial profiling. I do not steal. But it is my understanding that people believe that if you look like me, you will steal. That is how theft comes to my attention when I would not have thought about it otherwise. I get so frustrated with that helpless feeling that comes with the knowledge that people have the wrong idea and there is nothing, absolutely nothing, I can do about it. I will be honest, people judge me as someone from the streets and I feel like yelling, “I went to Harvard!” But then what would I follow that with–I could have been successful! I might still be successful! I am not a thief. I was a hooker. People gave me money. I never had to take it, and they never wanted it back.” All true. But the truth does not prove another truth. How is that for frustrating? Breaking the law in a particularly unacceptable way does nothing for my credibility. But if you think about it, I have a point when I say I never stole. Don’t I?
Please do not jump to conclusions. Assumptions can be hurtful. Traumatic, truth be told. More importantly for the person seeking to apply knowledge, assumptions leave you vulnerable to the real risks. I am not a threat, to your stuff or anything else.
Regular wisdom for everyday people comes from an unlikely source–a brilliant woman on Honolulu’s addicted downtown streets who has convinced herself she is in the area doing research. Check the link to find out what you never knew you wanted to know! From someone you never imagined had any wisdom for you. Follow the link and when you feel surprised know that your preconceived notions are being confronted!