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Harm Reduction in Honolulu

Honolulu community outreach workers give advice to avoid celeb-style overdoses. See link

Michael K. Williams died of accidental overdose that included fentanyl, cocaine https://www.newsbreakapp.com/n/0c7BtMBR?&share_destination_id=MTU5ODM3MDA2LTE2MzI2MDQwNjgzNDQ=&s=a99&pd=0AoeuE7z&hl=en_US

In Honolulu “Harm Reduction” is the controversial policy


Harm Reduction concedes the impossibility of harm prevention

According to my inexpert understanding, “Harm Reduction” is a policy based upon the theory that people are going to do what they want no matter the danger, no matter the educational efforts, no matter how bad it is for them. No one knows why people do things they know will hurt them–why do we start in the first place and why don’t we stop? Even if we do stop why is it so very difficult? What we know is people engage in behavior that is pleasurable but risky, as d when continued changes from merely pleasurable to compulsive and destructive. We cannot stop people. Therefore society might as well help them do what they do safely bc bad outcomes in one segment of society will effect everyone. One controversial point is: harm Reduction is not the same as encouraging people to do something, but accepting the inevitable reality of free will being the most important factor in behavior. What does this policy look like in action?

It means teaching teens how to obtain birth control bc no matter what anyone says they will not all be abstinent until marriage (is anyone?).

Honolulu Harm Reduction

In Honolulu Harm Reduction means stationing outreach workers in a van downtown on most weekdays for the purposes of exchanging, but NOT, distributing clean needles to iv drug users, giving away free condoms, passing out informational pamphlets, etc…. Everyone thought diseases like AIDS would stay confined to the population that did things society opposes–promiscuous gay sex, shooting dope, prostitution. But AIDS did not only target the “bad” people. It turned out, to everyone’s genuine surprise, that people do t necessarily have complete double lives. Sometimes they just dabble in something. They step into the scene then step out, real quick, so they are barely there. They are not full time gay, they are men, who now and again, pick up a transgender sex worker. No one would ever guess that the forbidden thing that almost never happens is actually the norm. Hence, diseases that are spread by doing something, whether it is once or as a lifestyle, these diseases travel from “them” to “us.” We don’t care about them–let the addicts kill themselves. But we care about ourselves, and it turns out we have addicts in our midst, or we engage with addicts working the street now and then. Disease outed people more than any shift in society’s attitude could have.

No one would ever guess that the forbidden thing that almost no one sees going on is actually the norm. Plenty of publicly “normal” people do the “abnormal” just a little , privately. I write this blog to show people they are not alone.

Caroleena’s purpose for the blog as it relates to harm Reduction.

People Use drugs alone–and die

Because if the stigma attached to using drugs, people do it in secret. If they overdose these us no one there to help them. They die needlessly. Articles about celeb drug overdoses, like the one linked to this post, do not say if the person was aline but they must have been bc there is always a mystery about why they were found dead. Later, the truth, or what we are told us true, us revealed. In Honolulu outreach workers have a stated goal if getting the anti overdose drug to as many people as possible, users or not. If anyone happens upon a scene where someone has collapsed and us not breathing, a good Samaritan can administer the drug as a nasal spray and simply save a life. Certainly the people hanging out with users can do the same.

Don’t use drugs alone.

Honolulu Community Outreach workers

The controversial summary: people will use drugs no matter what. Surprisingly, everyone is affected because disease does not stay within a boundary. What’s more, you might think you don’t know anyone who goes to sex workers (fir one example). Little do you know, you are probably wring, many times over. Caring about “them” means caring about ourselves.

Do I believe all if this? Would I say, rapists are going to rape anyway. We might as well help them pack a quality rape kit (the name of the supplies assailants carry with them) so that the plastic ties are not too abrasive to the skin of the person bound and gagged. What about giving burglars gloves to keep them from being cut when they break glass to force their way into a house or car? Are these extreme examples very different from giving condoms to middle schoolers? We could not do this bc harm prevention us, kind if, saying, we approve, albeit reluctantly. We would not give the arsonists fire proof gear so he can escape unburned. Would we? There are no easy answers, except one: Harm Reduction really does reduce harm.

Do we want that?

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Addiction and Prostitution in Hawaii

In-Cel, or Involuntary Celibate–Bitter Misogynistic Trolls

I never heard of the term In-Cel, pronounced like Intel. Tonight I watched a story about a young woman who had a social media presence. She sometimes met her fans whenever she could. She ended up getting killed by a “fan” who wanted her to be monogamous to him but she did not reciprocate the feelings.

The real story was that he filmed the stabbing and posted it in dark corners of the internet. From there the murder pix made it to mainstream so I’ll media. People sought members of the woman’s family to send them individually targeted murder pics. The pictures were accompanied by comments about how much she deserved to be killed for rejecting the guy.

Tv shows always call in experts. This show’s expert said the guys who loved the idea of an attractive woman being killed by a social loser were called in+cels, short for involuntary Celibate. I don’t think I could have labelled myself something that told everyone I was in the most undesirable position for a man. These guys present like they are rabidly misogynistic but really they want a woman more than anything.

To them I say, hire a sex worker. No one has to know how you met. There is a way to satisfy a need other than murder and sadism. Stop lashing out and start embracing the socially unacceptable. I have a feeling people would rather say they approve of murder than they “had” to hire companionship. Nevertheless, my idea is a good one. If you’ve read this blog enough you know relationships form. Loneliness us too hard. Do something different and keep it a secret if you must.

c work me. H b:;

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People Who’d never call me n****r call me crazy, like it is ok

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The Shocking Real Reason Gay Men Offend Straight Men

URL: https://wp.me/p8wemN-1ou. (Short link)

URL: https://atomic-temporary-125892413.wpcomstaging.com/2020/10/11/straight-guys-are-offended-when-gay-guys-flirt-but-not-for-the-reason-youd-think/

Flipping Him”

I’ve knock a couple of gay guys who were downright aggressive when they flirted with straight guys. I’ve seen looks and gestures at one workplace that would’ve gotten the guy fired if he had done that to a woman. I would have been appalled and offended had I seen a woman who was clearly annoyed and avoidant by aggressive sexual advances. Instead, my own double standards were at work without me even knowing it. I was not upset, I was intrigued. I wanted to know more. I asked, “How often were these over the top tactics successful?”

All the time. These guys never say no , they just have to put up a good front if people are around. The key is telling them no one will ever know. And, you have to keep the secret. If they hear about you and another guy, no one will say yes again. It’s such a juicy secret it’s hard to keep but you have to. They don’t even know about each other. They always think they are the special ones!

A gay friend detailing his success at “flipping” straight guys, at least once

A Straight Target‘s Perspective

I was lucky enough to hear about the experience from the other guy’s point of view. He spoke of how tireless the gay guy had been. He had been waiting in the gay guy’s apartment for someone. As long as he was there on his turf, the gay guy relentlessly considered him fair game. I was just forming the thought that this behavior sounded familiar to me when the straight guy said:

He treated me like I was a b—, I mean, like I was a woman! That’s how men are with women and he wanted to pressure me like that? That was not cool. Not cool at all. I’m not some b—, I mean, some chick.

A straight guy, explaining, the true source of his distress over sexual advances from another man

The Harvard ex sex worker investigated further

According to my interviews being treated like a woman is a grave insult as far as a man is concerned. If men are being honest they acknowledge that men use women in many ways for seemingly many reasons. The real reason is always simply reducible to sex. It’s like, in their heart of hearts, men don’t believe women have the right to say no. Certainly any woman he claims does not have the right to say no to him. If said woman says no to him,and yes to someone else, a lot of men secretly believe physical punishment is in order. Most men won’t share this belief with anyone, not even themselves. But if he is being honest with himself, and no one else will find out how he really thinks, this is the truth: When a man thinks of being treated like a woman, it means he is viewed as someone to be used, abused, then discarded, like someone who is not a card carrying member of the human race. You know, like a b—, I mean, like a woman.

Men are insulted when they think they are viewed as women are viewed. They are offended to be treated the way men treat women when they ceaselessly pressure women for sex. If the homosexuality bothers them, it’s far worse to be likened to a woman than a gay man.

Caroleena’s conclusion about why sexual advances from gay men anger straight men.
Linked Posts Related by Topic W/in Site

http://atomic-temporary-125892413.wpcomstaging.com/archive/taboos/

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An old pro tells you the ONLY way a couple can have sex with a 3rd

HarvardxhookrinHI Knows Threesomes

When I was a sex worker I was asked to participate in various arrangements, the specific combination of people need not be detailed in this post. Suffice it to say, I have experience in unconventional intimacy. In addition to learning from my own experiences, I interviewed other providers in order to maintain the self-delusion that I was not a real street person but an anthropological researcher. I asked woman who started working the streets in her early teens. Now, it’s 40 years later and there’s no way I would miss a chance to record her experiences. “Mande” says that a couple can bring another person into their bed but there is only one way to keep the extra person from threatening the relationship.

The Visual Barrier

A woman who loves her significant other will be loyal to him no matter who shows up. If a woman strays it’s because of problems in the relationship that have nothing to do with an outsider. Men, on the other hand, are led astray by their ever present internal lust. are simple in matters of gonads. Men are visual. They are easily and constantly enticed by sex under ordinary circumstances when everyone’s dressed. If he sees a woman naked and willing to be with them, he will want to go back by himself and see if she is willing to be with him. It’s the nature of the beast. Solution? The man must not know the woman, he must never be alone with her, and most importantly, if you take only one precaution, the man must be blindfolded at all times.

Mandee, a sex worker with 40 years of pro experience
If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, then during a threesome the woman must prevent the man from becoming a beholder. This is the only time I advocate her controlling his view of other women.

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In Hawaii boys can openly be girls; it’s the desire of married men for mahus that’s kept secret

Men can be mahus but family guys hide their attraction

In Hawaii, boys taking on the dress and identity of girls from a young age through adulthood is normal and accepted. Colloquially called “mahus,” they are referred to as “she” and there’s no argument about which bathroom they use. They use the women’s bathroom in public and if possible, they get their own time. Their exaggerated displays of hyper-femininity is not meant to conceal that they are men. On the street, they make the most money and it’s not the openly gay guys that pick them up. The married guys with wives and kids sneak away to pick up working mahus from the downtown “ho stroll.” These men aren’t looking for women, and they are not tricked into believing they picked up a woman. They want a man dressed like a woman. Ironically, during the encounter, I’m told that the mahu plays the role of the man and the client submits, sexually, to the guy in the dress. I could never have made these details up out of my imagination because Im not this creative. These details come from extensive interviews with people who have been there.

Married men desiring mahus is what’s really going on in Honolulu.

Caroleena, the expert escort who discovered that, like most female sex workers, she could not outcompete the men who dressed as women, called each other “she,” but always made it clear they were really men bc that’s where the money maker.
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Why do I write about being a former sex worker, 2018 and 2020 reasons

2018 Reasons I Write

I am a respectable ivy league educated x-hooker sharing her experiences as a street level sex worker in Honolulu at the turn of the 21st century.

Why?

If I can take my experiences and turn them into life lessons for others then I have transformed that post collegiate time from a waste of a mind to a benefit for the world. To be cringingly honest, my mission is to earn redemption by educating and entertaining the world with stories of the outcast told in the language of the elite.

2020 Reasons I Write

I used to be passionate about my anonymity. I was so concerned about people finding out about me. Then, last week, the beginning of August 2020, I was trying to get in the elevator with a man who has lived in the building as long as I have, over 6 years. He tried dissuading me by telling me I didn’t belong on the elevator with him, that I could take the bigger elevator and leave him in peace. Bullying is a poor choice of strategies to use with me because I can motivate off of spite. I refused to leave the elevator When we got to my floor he made a big show of pushing my bike off the elevator without my assistance, which only wedged the bike in the elevator door. He had no choice but to cooperate with me to free my bicycle so he could be on his way. I was quite through with being nice and I told him that any problem you have was with yourself, not with me, because I do not even know your name and do not misinterpret me, I am not asking for your name. What is wrong with you,” I demanded to know.

He glared at me and said, “You work the streets downtown!”

I was shocked. That was years ago. There were people in the building who said they recognized me from “Town.” There are very few black people in the state and everyone is connected to someone who knows someone they know so it is very common to be recognized. Anyway, if someone recognized me from Town it is because that person was there too! Or they were Town Adjacent–maybe someone they knew went into town to get dope for them, you know, peripheral involvement. The next thing the bully said made everything clear:

The Office [at Kalakaua Homes] tells us all about it. We know everything!

A neighbor offering even more proof that management is behind the efforts to pressure me out of this prime housing and reserve every single unit for fellow Asians.

I can get into the racial dynamic in Hawaii later. I will just say, for now, that it is different from the traditional white vs. black and one color line. There are many lines here, some of them determined by race, some of them determined by place of origin. But Hawaii is like every other place I know of–the native population is not in charge of their land, they are disproportionately incarcerated, and Hawaiians, in a unique twist, have the lowest life expectancy of any racial group in the world. But that’s now what this post is about.

The reason I write this blog, today is that people already know my past. They refuse to let it go. There is no such thing as an x-hookr and they will never let me live it down. You have heard of the thinking error confirmation bias, I presume, in which everything that proves a person’s pre-conceived notions is used as evidence, while anything that disproves their prejudice is discounted or ignored. Everything about me is going to show them I am a prostitute so I am going to live my life and not worry about altering myself based upon their judgements because there is no point. The hatred is intractable. Now, if I was born here, or if I was one of the accepted racial groups, this would not be happening, this bullying. If I had a gift for putting people at ease instead of an inability to relate to others my chances of peace would be better. But those were not the cards I was dealt. Race is only one part of the decision to pressure me out of here. The Supreme Court said that if racism plays any part in mistreatment than the mistreatment is illegal and not just people expressing their freedom of speech. I am on solid ground about the illegality of what management is doing by proxy. So, I write.

One could say that I am keeping my past alive, but in truth it is already kept alive for me. I might as well repurpose my past not as something to deny or forget but as something that is relevant as a current teaching tool or if nothing else, a present day source of entertainment. They say write what you know. If I don’t declare myself a knowledgeable expert in addiction and street life then I pretty much wasted the past 20 years and cannot use any of my experience for the good. Unacceptable, to me. So, I write.

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“You’re Such a Pretty Lady You’d be Perfect with a Big ****”

https://harvardxhookrinhi.wordpress.com/2020/03/15/a-beautiful-face-plumo-breasts-and-functioning-male-genitalia-is-the-perfect-secret-sex-partner-to-some-husbands-who-go-downtown/

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If Your Man is Addicted, or Really Into, Porn, Try Tactics on This List

Become His Porn Partner: X-Hooker Life Hack #52

Remember how I cautioned women to avoud yelling and lengthy diatribes? Here are alternatives to traditional arguing. I call it The Porn Partnership. If you can’t beat ’em you really will have to join ’em. Is he going to stop watching? I have yet to meet a man who wants to give up pornography. Not even the guy told me:

She’s totally hot. She’s right there. I want to do her, but I can’t get off of the video

Former client explaining how watching porn made him feel conflicted

Strategies for forming a porn partnership. For the woman who loves a man who loves porn

  • Watch with him and watch the way he watches. Comment on what he remarks about, find videos in his favorite porn genre. Generally emulate him.
  • Take it seriously. My friend told me I had ruined many movies for him by pointing out the absurdity of the storyline, the poor lighting, or how a position was obviously fake given the angles of the bodies. Don’t be a critic unless he enjoys critiques. Suspend disbelief.
  • Initiate. Find porn that you like and introduce something new to the situation.
  • Reenact the plots. Get creative. Don the heels and other costumes. Reenact the scenes without the video. Or do the scenes side by side with the video. See who can finish first.
  • Make your own porn. Note: make masks a part of the storyline. (Never be identifiable in a video unless you’re cool with the world seeing it. Devices get hacked. People get angry and post things they shouldn’t. Anything can happen, no matter how much secure privacy you believe you have.)
No one has to know about your participation in pornography. A mask like the one in the image will work if you want to make a video of yourself. If he’s going to watch porn he might as well watch you! Search an XXX site for masks and you’ll find lots of study material.
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A Threesome with Two Guys is Different Than Two Women

Women Are Equal in Many Ways but Not Sexually

Two women with one guy has always been two women servicing the guy. Makes sense if he is paying. Rarely, it’s been too guys. I’ve asked around about this to supplement my experience. If the guys are paying it’s still about servicing them. According to my former friend, all men are gay or will engage in gay sex but absolutely keep that activity hidden from women. Never in a threesome with just one woman do the guys appear to interact with each other, although you might find out later they were secretly watching each other. The woman has to service them and that’s when make rivalry emerged. Inevitably one guy is irritated bc he thinks he was underserved.

Threesomes…

Threesomes with two guys always have this topic

Size will always be an issue for men

You guessed it–penis size. This preoccupation is male. Another form of competition. The smaller guy always says something about his superior skill or the fact (truly) that women often do not like large guys.

I haven’t gotten any complaints from women

Real life example of defensive statement by the guy with the smaller penis in a two guy one woman threesome.

Threesomes–Sneaky business

Women trying to control men’s desire for new women by keeping his activities under her watch. Or, if there’s watching, the guys are watching each other while pretending not to, or they’re competing for her attention.

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Ladies, Don’t Get Mad If You Notice Him Noticing Other Women

I know that there are signs that a man wants an open, public relationship with a woman. But men have thoughts about women that they don’t share with us and we women have no idea that men are thinking certain things about almost every woman almost all of the time. I did not know the hidden truths for which there are no signs. Most men look at most woman and filter the view through a sexual lense. Even if only for one hundredth of a second, men look and think “yes, no, want her, don’t want her, too old, too young, could have her if I want, wish I could have her,” etc., etc. These thoughts occur consciously or so quickly they are unconscious. But make no mistake, these ecret hiughts occur. Although men give no sign they are looking at every woman, they are looking at every woman. Sexually. That doesn’t mean they don’t move past that point of view, they do, but the sexual glasses are always hanging around their necks, so to speak, to be put on at the first sight of a new woman. What’s more, if no one would ever, ever know or suspect, and they’d never have to see the woman again, most men would secretly have sex with just about any woman. Only if the Iron clad secrecy guarantee was in place. With that guarantee, the normal guy would do anything, just once, mind you. (That’s what he’ll tell himself).

Ladies don’t get mad if he looks at another

Worry if he doesn’t look. That’d be weird. Looking is normal. There’s a protocol he needs to follow. He should be very discreet, below the radar. If he makes it obvious he is being disrespectful to his partner and the woman he is looking at. And he knows he is being disrespectful. Don’t tolerate blatant leering (remember, no loud and lengthy diatribes).

TAKE ME SERIOUSLY IF YOU WANT TO BUT KNOW THIS:

Keep in mind, I have no statistics to back up what I say, I have no unbiased data. My opinions are formed from my limited exposure to people I actually meet or know of. And these aren’t randomly chosen men I’ve interviewed, but men willing to pay for my time and/or services. I may have met waaay more men than your average woman, but that only means I have a lot of anecdotal knowledge, not true expertise. Just so you know that I know where I’m coming from with my Life Hack.

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Ben Franklin Was Wrong About Secret Keeping in One Way

“Three can keep a secret if two if them are dead,” is a quote attributed to Ben Franklin. We see much evidence that secret keeping might be impossible when we look at what happens when people get arrested. The Mafia had a code members adopted that had, at it’s heart, never cooperate with law enforcement. I think it was called the omerta. Sacred vows went out the window when crooks had the chance to get out of jail free if they turned snitch. When it’s profitable, people leak secrets. Or, if people want to brag about crimes they should never mention, they end up telling on themselves.

Ben Franklin’s Mistake

When it comes to information that men truly do not want anyone to know, guys can keep those secrets forever. I’m sure you have heard a woman say, “I just had to tell someone,” usually in a breathless tone. Men do not feel the need to unburden themselves, ever, when it comes to socially unacceptable sexual inclinations. A man who privately enjoys the company of transgender hookers, for example, will take that secret to the grave. And he will never feel the urge to share, never feel like he “has” to say something, never feel guilty about that part of his life.

I compartmentalize. I don’t think about it when I’m not doing it, so it doesn’t bother me.

A former client who occasionally enjoyed the company of tg hookers, explaining how he kept his secret without feeling guilty or slipping up.

Maintaining the sanctity of confidentiality comes down to what’s most beneficial to the secret holder. There is no innate inability to keep secrets, merely an innate inability to resist the benefits of ratting someone out. If the cost of telling outweighs the benefits, no one will talk, ever. No matter how many people know the hidden truth. Imho.

Everyone has a Vegas within themselves. What happens in that Vegas does indeed stay in Vegas. BareBreasts+Beauty+Idea=Ideal Post l
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Secret Street Sex in homeless camps–shocking live video shows where your favorite Honolulu working girl may take you. A Live YouTube Video

https://photos.app.goo.gl/CN8cnNzgCC1aN4qE6

A lot of downtown working girls live this way–like you’re in the third world not the United States. If a girl doesn’t have her own tent she can have her date offer the tent owner $20 to rent the space. Looks like 3rd world poverty in the video but that’s the U.S. and many professional men with respectable images have had secret street sex right where I filmed. Down Honolulu prostitution draws clients from all walks of life. Don’t let the poverty fool you. There’s money made here everyday. Amazing, yes?

The above link will take you to the completely unedited video I took with my phone while I rode through one of the ever present homeless camps in Honolulu January 31, 2020.

If a guy is sure no one will know, even the most respectable guy will rent one of these tents to rendezvous with a downtown streetwalker. For some, the abject poverty heightens the lure of the forbidden.

Caroleena noting how some downtown Honolulu hookers handle the problem of finding a spot for secret street sex.
I had too much pride to use a tent. I rented out the 9sqare foot bathrooms in low income housing for my dates.
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“How did you know you’d never have an abortion?”

Remember the guy who ghosted me? He asked this question after I éf “Are you sure?” Why would I say something if I wasn’t sure. I may not always be right but I’m always sure I’m saying what I mean. I decided in 7th grade I would never have an abortion and I never wavered.

Yes, I acknowledge that I wasn’t in an incestuous family like the woman I met in a Christian based drug program. She had Bourne three boys for her father and her two sisters had babies by him as well. They were from Waianae, a community with a large Hawaiian population. I have heard, anecdotally, from unreliable sources, that Hawaiians are traditionally more open to incest, flexible gender roles assignments for kids, and homosexuality. Those categories are related only in that they are sexual taboos to most Americans. Not bc they influence each other.

Maybe it was easy for me to stick to my decision because I believed it was unequivocally right. I also believe being against abortion doesn’t make you pro-life. Acting on behalf of society as an advocate for the disgraced and rejected–now that’s the true spirit of someone who is pro-life.

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Rape, Abuse, theft, abortion–we all know people who do the taboo

Rape–do guys discuss it with each other? I’ve asked many men who have all denied even hearing a conversation between guys about rapes they’ve done or wished they’d done. Statistically more women have been raped than not. I must know many rapists. But no one discussed it. I talk about “issues” in the abstract but in truth the people who have done taboo things are all around us. Guess what? Many people:

1. Regret having children

2. Dislike their children

3. Beat up the smaller and weaker. For fun, for a rush.

4. Abuse animals. Especially unpopular animals like cats.

5. Commit rapes. Plan to or wish they’d seized an opportunity to rape. Especially if the person is no virgin and is passed out drunk.

6. Molest children, have sex with underage kids who are mature for their age and can handle it.

7. Have abortions. Help people have abortions.

8. Help terminally ill people die.

9. Steal from the elderly or people with dementia who won’t miss the items or spend the money.

10. Allow men (husbands, boyfriends, strangers) sexual access to their children in exchange for status as a wife, a place to stay, drugs. They hate the kids bc they are jealous the guy wants the kid.

11. Make people do stuff bc they have money or a place to live or something someone wants. They power Trip and they like it.

None of this is rare, although people will not admit to anything in the list unless there is a reward for doing so. We all know people who’ve done these things, and more. We have done some it all of these things, or more. Just bc no one talks about something doesn’t mean it’s not happening.

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Why Would You Even Say If There Is Anything I Can Do, Let Me Know, When You Know Damn Well What Needs Doing and a YouTube Video Link for Reader Participation

People Don’t Want to Help

Not really. But people want to be viewed as helpful, without the awkwardness of dealing with someone who is really hurting. We are uncomfortable with emotional outbursts in American culture, and when intense emotions are associated with death, why, we Americans want to head for the hills. How many times have you heard someone say “It is the first time I saw [insert name] cry?” When this is said no one is remarking on the newfound openness and sense of intimacy they felt over a shared loss. They are always relaying their horror and deep discomfort that someone they counted on not to show raw emotion was doing precisely that. Ever noticed?

Mourning and Grief

That’s one of the mourning associated phrases I am pondering, the first time I saw so-and-so cry, along with the infamous “if there is anything I can do for you, let me know.” I hate that. People know good and well that no one is going to slide out on that limb and ask for help on top of suffering through grief. It is especially obvious that the person does not want to help because they never offered “anything” before, and they simply could have shown up with “anything” in tow, rather than make a grieving person do all the work of seeking comfort.

If You Are Going To Be Fake Nice, At Least Don’t Be Obvious

Don’t I sound like I am speaking from embittering experience? I am not. I am speaking out of jealousy, and this is why: I was never offered the “anything” that I complain about. I have seen people who received consolation. They seemed so much better off than me. I used to hate them unabashedly. Now I tell myself everyone has their own path and mine is different. Do you think it worked? I’ve had many chances to work on my self-soothing. It is almost the third anniversary of my friend’s death and no one acknowledged me as important in his life. They followed his public lead. Mine too. Our relationship was behind closed doors. Neither of us had any other friends besides each other. When he was speaking to me and not affirming his homosexuality by shutting me out, we had so much fun, and lots of sexual adventures which I will share in a sanitized way, later. Behind closed doors is where I felt all my joy, and that’s the obstacle between me and the rest of the world. A closed door.

What Sports Team Would Your Eulogy Mention? My friend was such a fan of the Patriots that they were mentioned in his obituary and eulogy, from what I read online. I was not invited to participate with the family, not the way I met Ken, and not after he said I wasn’t his girl friend but a girl who was a friend. I found him dead in my kitchen the Sunday after the Patriots made the Superbowl the day before. You remember the one they were down by a lot at half time and came back to win at the end? My friend never got to see that game but I did. Ironic.

But on the bright side, I did know happiness. I can even prove it. I will give you a one minute and 14 second YouTube Link that shows us having fun. I was happy once. Is it better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. I don’t have any family, never did, and although I haven’t experienced a loss in this area because there was no one to lose, it doesn’t feel good. Pain is pain. I don’t mind showing you the video because as I told you before no one I know reads my blog or encourages me so I need not worry about revealing my identity. Only strangers will see the video.

Anything Abusive?

I’d like your opinion on something. My friend, who I loved, had a mean streak. Someone said his verbal abusiveness was obvious because although we spend that whole minute laughing, he does nothing but put me down. I never saw it until someone said something. Tell me what you think, if you care to. To be really honest, I could use the company in a lonely time, even though you guys are wherever you are and we will never meet. Something beats nothing, every day of the week, and twice on Sunday!

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Are you sure showing bare breasts doesn’t get old?

Same Bare Breasts Same WomanIn Unique PicturesAlways a Hot Topic
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Eavesdrop On Genuine Secret Recording of Dealer Talking About His World

https://www.facebook.com/ivyleague.xstreetwalker/timeline?lst=100032988841753%3A100032988841753%3A157626

Follow the Above Link to My Facebook Page Scroll down the page until you get the to the Secret Drug Talk Recording. And yes, I had permission, but participants in this and upcoming tapes do not know when I am recording to guarantee genuine speech. My first attempt at this new blog addition, all audio.

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Sex Riddle: When it comes to prostitution no one wants people to think THIS, but everyone wants people to think THAT…??

You would never pay for sex nor would you accept payment, but you would always have people willing to pay you for sex.

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Sex Riddle: When it comes to prostitution, no one wants people to think THIS, but everyone wants people to think THAT…??

There is an ironic double standard about the way money is thought of when it is mingled with prostitution.

When it comes to prostitution no one wants people to think:

  • You pay for sex or you accept payment for sex

Ironically, when it comes to prostitution everyone wants people to think:

  • People would eagerly pay to have sex with you.
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“All Men Are Gay”

That’s what one of my associates said. “All men are gay,” Mandee would reiterate when telling stories of her past. She was an adriot storyteller, so it was always fun to listen. I like the word associate, because it is more accurate than the word friend. In Mandee’s case I liked her but she didn’t reciprocate the affection. She didn’t mind my company so when I came around she’d talk and I listened to learn stuff. Even without pre-existing barriers to friendship, there appears to be a distance between women, especially providers. It is very rare to find working girls who are friends with each other rather than rivals. I look at the sites that encourage discussion among men about different providers, and they are very popular with men. Men can help each other get laid. But it seems that women cannot assist each other in a common cause. I wonder if it because it is because it is true that all men are gay.

Mandee believes the bond between men is based on a shared secret that they all know but never say, not even to each other. Mandee said every man she knew had had sex with other men, and they reveal that fact in private to working girls no one would believe even if they tried to tell. Mandee explained the process. It starts when they are young boys, like pre-teenagers. and they don’t have access to women so they play with each other. It’s never talked about outside of the locker room (or wherever) but it certainly does happen. When they grow up they get with other men, who might be dressed as women, and therefore they don’t really count it as homosexual. Or they have encounters with men who are definitely dressed as men and they both consider themselves heterosexual. Since they both call themselves “straight” the sexual contact doesn’t “count.” As for sex with mahus (pronounced MA hoo), my former associate’s belief is that men embrace other men dressed like women as a type of rejection of genetic females, a way to say, “there’s nothing you do and nothing you have that we can’t improve upon.” Yes, there is the issue of reproduction, but if you consider how much sex a person has, it is relatively rare that people really want pregnancy. Therefore, the true need for heterosexuality is mostly irrelevant.

I did some research on the subject of the hidden world of men having sex with men even though all of them self identify as straight. I have to say that it is much more common than I ever imagined. If I hadn’t fallen in love with a man who was bisexual I never would have considered male homosexuality. Like Mandee he did not reciprocate my affection for him, but for a different reason, lol. I started exploring this hidden world because I was looking for a loophole, a way into his heart. I didn’t find one but I will share my adventures with you over time.

I went for an HIV test here in Honolulu. The person giving the test was what they call a mahu. I hope that term mahu is not derogatory, and if I learn that it is, then I will substitute the proper word instead of mahu, just so you know. Well, as we wait for the results of the finger prick test to come back the person asked me how many men have you had sex with that you believe have had sex with other people. I thought about it and I responded “I cannot say that everyone does everything. But based upon my research I have to say most of the men I’ve had sex with other men.” She looked at me with total surprise. And I say “she” because here in Hawaii if a person self-identifies as a mahu who everyone else follows suit. Compared to mainland United States, defining oneself according to one’s own preference is practically accepted. She looked at me with amazement and replied “you are a wise woman.”

More on this popular subject coming soon.

Caroleena Renee, January 20, 2019 10:20 p m. Hawaii time